Far From Here: A Klaine Tumblr AU
by blainebutton
Summary: Kurt goes on tumblr because it is his safety place. He knows people accept him, he knows what to expect. But a single message from someone with the name 'warbler-on' literally changes everything he thought he knew about the internet.   Please review!
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: Most parts are either going to be shorter, or longer than this. I_really_ just needed to set things up, first. _**Think of this as a prologue. **_

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><p>There was a message when he logged in. Kurt wasn't used to seeing any messages. With only 134 followers, Kurt had stopped even reblogging those silly posts asking people to ask you <em>anything<em> or to leave a number and you would answer the question that went with the number. He simply enjoyed reblogging the latest fashions, occasionally posting mini rants, and every now and then a video or two of him singing, but that was _very_ rare.

But the red square with the rounded edges hovered over the white envelope, and Kurt's eyes went huge. Something in the pit of his stomach told him not to click it. He'd seen how awful those anonymous people were to some of his other followers. What if _this_ was an evil anon come to troll him, come to ruin the only place where he felt safe? School was already bad, but what if they had found his tumblr, which he was trying to keep hidden at all cost.

It took him a full five minutes to click on it. His eyes were closed as the page reloaded, and Kurt Hummel took a long, deep breath as he waited. Opening his eyes, the light blue spheres peered onto the message.

'Hey! I just wanted to say that your cover of Help! by the Beatles was…amazing! I really liked it. You should post more videos! Well, yeah, now I feel like a creeper, so I'm going to go…..P.S. Cool blog :)'

He stared at it and read it again. He looked at the over use of exclamation posts, the smiley face at the end. Kurt's eyes wandered to the name '_Warbler-on_' and the black and white picture of a bird. This person was _certainly_ not a troll, and Kurt even laughed because he had just been paranoid. So without giving it much of a second thought, he replied.

'Thanks! Beatles covers are sort of my thing. That and show tunes. Well, I'm not too sure about posting more videos, though. You're the only person that's ever even commented on them. It's not creepy, it's flattering and just means you have good taste! P.S. Thanks :)'

He sent it privately, before clicking on dashboard and scrolling down. After reblogging two pictures of Alexander Mcqueen's Armidillo heels, that red square with the rounded corners and the white number one popped up again and glared at him. Kurt clicked.

It was them again, and this time Kurt smiled slightly.

'Are you serious? That's it. I've got to reblog those videos, I'm sure some of my followers will comment. Well, I knew I had great taste…but thanks! I'm serious, you should post more. I sound too pushy o.O I just like your voice.'

Kurt laughed, absolutely convinced this person was crazy. But in a good way. Clicking answer, he typed back.

'What, are you like, tumblr famous or something? ;) I'd like you to know, good sir, that I have _plenty _of followers. They just…never pay attention. You do sound pushy, but I'm trying to take this as a compliment.'

He hit answer privately, and went back to his dash. Within minutes there was another one, and for a good couple minutes it went back and forth, and back and forth. 'Warbler-on' would continue to compliment him, while Kurt thanked him. They talked about musicals, because 'Warbler-on' had noticed him reblog Rent. They even spoke about fashion. But after a few minutes 'Warbler-on' stopped replying.

Kurt got nervous, and worried that he had somehow offended him and annoyed him and he had gotten bored and left. In his head, although he had no idea if this was a girl or not, he pictured them as a boy. Maybe he _wanted_ them to be a boy. Sighing though, Kurt glanced out his window at the setting sun before entering '.com' into the address bar.

The layout was plain, with light red, almost pink accents. In the corner, just over his information, was a gif of a dog walking closer to the screen. The _only_ thing Kurt could tell about this person so far was that they loved animals. His eyes wandered down, and he read the information under the gif. Their name was Blaine, and from what he could see, they were the same age. They mentioned Harry Potter a few times, and Rent, and Kurt could feel the edges of his lips tugging into a smile as he looked at the post, which were actually mostly either pictures of actors such as Marion Cottilard or pop songs. But in the margin, at the bottom of all the information about them and the banner of Gryffindor's colors was the small little image.

"This blog is LGBTIA positve. I support gay right"

His heart leapt a bit, but it wasn't like he had expected anything new. Most people from tumblr felt the same. Still, sometimes it felt nice to be accepted. Just as he went to exit out, he refreshed by accident. At the top, there was a new post and it read.

'Kurt! I'm so sorry I stopped sending you messages. Stupid ten message rule. Damn you, Karp! But I have to go to bed now anyway, it's past midnight. Goodnight everyone!'

There was a gif of Lady Gaga blowing a kiss, and Kurt couldn't help but laugh and like the post, before going back to his dash and attempting to go back to blogging and doing his homework at the same time. But somewhere in between conjugating French verbs and a picture of a Chanel bag, Kurt couldn't shake the feeling that 'Blaine' was actually a girl.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: This is going to move by…_slowly_. I hope you guys have patience!Because there's no way I'm rushing this. I need it to be genuine.

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><p>This was a new feeling for him. Every other afternoon, after coming home from school and opening his mac, Kurt had never looked forward to opening onto his dashboard this much. Sure, it was always the first thing he did, but it was out of habit. It had never been out of pure <em>want<em>. Kurt actually found himself cursing the way his lips had tugged into a smile as he saw that red box once again over the white envelope. Blaine, he had looked up, was a unisex name. The Blaine he was speaking to was probably a girl.

_Everyone_ he knew on tumblr was a girl.

He wondered why he cared so much if Blaine was a boy. Either way, someone liked his singing, and he didn't really care if they were a girl. He longed for someone to talk to, _anyone_. And Blaine had proved to be a candidate for that position yesterday.

He clicked the red box, whistling while he waited for the page to load. Kurt almost laughed as he saw the message, knowing even without looking at the name that it was Blaine from the over use of exclamation marks that had come to be their signature.

'Sorry about last night! I usually stay on longer than that, since most of the people I follow are from the east coast, but my dad told me I had to go to sleep. And he's a crazy insomniac and has been known to take my laptop away for weeks. So I panicked! But um, hey! Hopefully you see this while I'm online, I'd hate to have missed you completely. Time zones, man. /:'

That made Kurt wonder though. He had wondered last night where Blaine lived, since they hadn't been very…clear about it in their blog. But he smiled, because apparently Blaine had wanted to talk to Kurt as much as Kurt had wanted to talk to them.

'Hey. Well, I just got back from school. Glee practice was actually pretty short today. I _hope_ you're still around, I'm not too sure, since I have _no_ idea where you live. Oh, I never have that problem. My father usually sleeps like a baby! Snores and everything.'

He hoped that wasn't too much information. No, no. From the looks of things, Blaine didn't care. They had been pretty open about their father, so Kurt adding some information about his wasn't too big of a deal. However, it wasn't like Kurt was going to go telling his life story to some strange. Now _that_ was weird.

Getting up and opening his bag to get some of his homework, Kurt settled back down on the chair and refreshed the page. There was another message already.

'Glee practice? So that's why you sing so well! Oh, and hey :) I'm still around! Uh, well, I live in Rome? Wait, I don't say that on my blog? O.o Wow, I should add that… Hah, take advantage of that! If I were you, I'd stay on tumblr all night, because I have no life.'

Kurt outright laughed at the message. His heart dropped a bit as hearing just how far Blaine lived, but it wasn't like he had expected them to live in Ohio or something. _No one _lived in Ohio, and definitely not people like Blaine, who from the looks of their blog was cultured. He rolled his eyes as he typed out his reply.

'Hmmm, yes. But it's not like I get to do much. There's a short hobbit girl who takes all the solos. Wow…Europe…that must be…_amazing._ No, and you don't say that on your blog. You're actually very…vague. Aside from making it clear you like Harry Potter and Rent. And soccer. No life? I'm not sure what qualifies as a life, so I can't really judge.'

He sent the message privately again, and went to work on his pre-calculus homework for a few minutes. His head filled with images of someone, with a happy smile on their face, walking down the streets of Rome, which he only knew from the movie Roman Holiday, and guessed that they had changed since then, but didn't care. Kurt sighed, and lifted his head, refreshing the page only to find that there was no new message.

A frown found itself on his face, and he huffed before clicking on his dash. Scrolling down and waiting for it to load more posts, his eyes stopped at a picture of a brown haired boy gesturing out a window. Kurt blinked, before his eyes moved to the icon and noticed it was a black and white picture of a bird.

_Blaine_.

Quickly, Kurt's eyes looked over the picture. It was dark, but the orange light let Kurt make out a few things. His skin was tan, but lighter than he had pictured it after hearing he was from Italy. His eyes looked dark, but they shined somehow, making Kurt guess that there was something to them that the light wasn't quite letting him see. In his head, he had had dark eyes, but suddenly his head filled with thoughts that maybe they were some other color. On his head, his hair looked slightly gelled, but it seemed that throughout the day a few curls had come down over his forehead. His features were strong, but pleasant. Kurt found himself staring.

He swallowed, hoping this was Blaine and not some random boy they had posted because they thought, like Kurt did, that they were cute. He scrolled further down, until he saw the caption.

'Kurt! You can't really see it well, but it's raining right now. So it's not that _amazing!_'

Underneath it, there was the tag 'I shouldn't spam my face. I might lose followers.' And suddenly Kurt could feel himself smiling. So _this_ was Blaine. This was the _boy _who had been messaging him. This was the guy who liked his singing voice and was apparently, gay.

He liked the image and replied to it with.

'I bet Rome in the rain is just as lovely as Paris, so shut up! P.S. Nice face.'

Kurt went back to his homework then, the same flirty smile still on his as he waited eagerly for the red box to show up again over his inbox.


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: Soooo Kurt centric! You'd think for a Blainestan I would write from Blaine's POV. I'll remedy that in future Parts, I'm sure. But here, have a simple chapter to make your hearts go whee!

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><p>He literally sat there for hours after Blaine had gone to sleep debating whether he should do it. Blaine had begun to beg him over ask, even posting a picture of him pouting and tagging it with Kurt's name, begging for Kurt to post a video so he could listen to it and so that the rest of tumblr could hear him. He had giggled at the picture, trying not to think about how adorable and ridiculous his pout was, but rolled his eyes at his comments. He'd lost <em>two<em> followers since Blaine and him had started speaking regularly, which now was a good week, and he severely doubted anyone really cared about what he had to say, let alone watch a video of him.

But something inside of him thought that maybe, someone would care. Blaine had cared enough to message him about his video, and if he hadn't posted that one song, Blaine never would have known he existed. His reason for well…not being completely depressed wouldn't be talking to him.

It was sad, that someone miles away and on another continent was Kurt's main source of comfort. But Blaine didn't know what he was going through. Blaine didn't know that every day, Kurt was thrown into lockers and called the f word. He had no idea that getting up in the morning was a pain for him because he hated his school so much. Kurt didn't have the heart to tell him. And he _didn't_ want to tell him. His tumblr was supposed to be a place for him to escape, a place for him to hide in, and that meant not mentioning it. Unlike other people he followed who constantly spoke about their lives, Kurt took another approach to his time spent on there. He mentioned little about his home and school life, and just enjoyed himself. He literally lost himself in a world that didn't have anything to do with him.

But the little circle above his Mac that held his camera called to him. It told him to open it and press play. Kurt took a deep breath, before yelling down at his family to not come in his room if they heard him singing. Or more so, he cordially informed them that if they so much as stepped into his room while he was singing, he would not make his brownies for a week. He only wanted to do this _once_. Like a bandaid. Rip it off at once and get it over with.

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><p>There was that red square again. He had been expecting that. What he hadn't been expecting, was the number <em>three<em> instead of _one_ over it. Kurt's face instantly scrunched up in confusion, before he opened his inbox.

The first wasn't from Blaine. It was from a someone with the name 'Rent-wicked-queen', and Kurt could only roll his eyes as he read it. But his eyes wondered down, and he suddenly felt awful for doing that.

'Wow! I've _never_ heard a guy sing Defying Gravity before! But you hit every note so well. Haha, instant follow. Hope you post more videos!'

He blushed, before sending her back a message thanking them. Kurt didn't want everyone to read that, it was _much_ too embarassaing. Even though he did have to agree with them, after the whole incident with the song last year, he wasn't exactly as proud of it as he had once been. Still, the message brought a smile to his lips, and his eyes dropped down to the next message.

It still wasn't from Blaine, and that made him frown, but the message was the same as the one above. There was nothing but sweet words and compliments, saying he was an instant follow and even adding that his fashion sense was impeccable. He smiled at her word choice, and sent her back a nice thank you message, before reaching the last ask.

'Thank you for tagging me in the video! Or else I would be really, really hurt that you didn't link me to it….Well, not really. I sort of check your blog regularly… Um. But, wow! Kurt…you sounded…_wow._"

That was all he said, and Kurt blinked at the message. It took him a while to figure out what to write back, because he had no idea. He was used to Blaine always knowing what to say. Even if he had to agree that the boy over used exclamation points, Blaine tended to always have some wise, little piece of advice to say. The dots, although he had no idea how to read them, meant volumes.

'No problem. I didn't know if I could send you the link, is your submit on? I'm really glad you like it. But just 'wow'? What does that mean?'

He was tentative about sending the message, but he figured it didn't matter. While Kurt Hummel in person was sure on his talent, he didn't have to use the façade of his confidence while online. He didn't have to see Blaine every day. Talking to him online was different than _seeing_ him. He could ask him that.

While he waited, he clicked on his title 'No good deed', and gasped as he saw he had literally _gained_ twenty followers since the last time he had checked. Scrolling down, Kurt looked for the video, before clicking on the notes. There were fifteen notes, which was a lot more than his typical two or three, and his heart literally leapt as he found Blaine's, the first one right after the one that said the video had been posted by him.

Following the link to his blog, Kurt's eyes began to feel a bit misty as he read the electronic words.

'Guys! This is Kurt. He's like…_amazing_. And you need to hear him, he'll blow you away. He blew me away! He's one of the nicest people I know, and yeah, I only know him over tumblr, but he's really great. Listen and follow or spread the news! He's going to make it big one day! :)'

Wiping back the tears that had trickled down his cheeks, Kurt laughed as he saw the red square once again over his inbox. Without a doubt, it was Blaine, his newly appointed fairy godmother. Or was it fairy godfather? He tried to avoid the fact that Blaine had never mentioned he clearly had a lot more followers than he lead on, and clicked the message with the first genuine smile he had worn all day on his face.


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note:And it seems to just get longer and longer! The first part was only 900 something words, and we've reached 1,478. I hope you guys like that! I'm just going to write as much as I feel the part I have in my head needs, so chances are some parts will even be under 900 words, and that other might even be over 2,000 (I doubt it though). But anyway, without much further ado, here you go!

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><p>Kurt was sleeping; he knew that. Over the past two weeks, the two boys had learned each other's schedules down pretty well, getting it down when one was awake and when the other was asleep, but most especially when they needed to be awake in order to talk. Sometimes it was difficult, and sometimes both of them went to certain lengths if only to get one message returned to them so that they could at least have spoken to each other once that day, but neither one of them was complaining.<p>

Or at least Blaine hoped Kurt wasn't complaining. He knew he had come off pretty strongly when he first messaged him, but Blaine felt like there were certain things about him that were different than any other person he had spoken to on tumblr, or anywhere else for that matter. In truth, Blaine felt lonely despite the friends he had within The Warblers, the acapella choir group at the all-boys American school he went to in Rome. That hadn't been the reason that he started his tumblr, but it had been the reason he had reached out to Kurt.

It was hard for him to explain, and as he sat there on his bed, looking at his computer screen in the morning while Kurt slept an ocean away, Blaine wasn't sure if he could even start to explain. The only thing he knew was that Kurt didn't seem to not be responding to his messages, which certainly meant this wasn't one sided, right?

It was three weeks of talking to each other, and by now Blaine had started to notice little meanings in the way that Kurt wrote. Whereas he was expressive in his typing -simply because over text he could _be_ expressive and not have to worry about keeping his appearance- Kurt seemed rather restrained. His punctuation was perfect, as if every little message he sent to Blaine was a small essay to be graded. He used smileys sparingly, and every once in a while even relaxed enough to say 'lol', which made Blaine feel like he had won something.

He sat there, looking at the message Kurt had sent him the night before, when Blaine had asked him how school had been. It was a simple question, and one that he asked amongst the many other things he sent as soon as he was awake because he knew Kurt would look at them in the afternoon. But the reply left him unsettled.

'So, did you hear that Patty Lupone's new book is coming out soon? Also, I was wondering if perhaps you had any duet ideas for me. There's a new assignment in Glee and I was able to get someone to duet with me. But I can't decide what would work with both of our voices. Please don't even suggest Katy Perry.'

Although the last part had made him laugh, as he remembered the day they had spent hours simply sending each other links to songs or posting them on their tumblr's in order for the other to hear, the fact that Kurt had completely skipped out on mentioning school aside from Glee distressed him somewhat. There was something wrong when Kurt didn't have some silly retort.

Three weeks and he even knew that.

He ran his fingers through his hair, not yet gelled, trying to determine if this was _too_ much or not. Blaine couldn't figure out _why_ it would be. Plus, he knew that his father wasn't home, and his mother was still probably too asleep from the sleeping pills she took every night to possibly disturb him

He could do this.

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><p>Blue eyes blinked as he looked up at his ceiling, finding it strange that the first thing that came to his head - which was usually to get up and do his morning skin care routine- was something completely different. It was Blaine, the silly, but sweet boy he had been speaking to. He rolled over in his lush covers to look at the white mac sitting on his desk, before sighing and shaking his head. It was past midday in Rome. Blaine was probably busy eating, or out with friends. He had time to get online.<p>

Kurt did his morning routine, and even went downstairs to make Finn and his father blue berry pancakes for breakfast, Carol having to leave early to go work at the hospital for a few hours. He didn't mind, and to be honest, this was much better than just sitting around doing homework or planning outfits or making plans with Mercedes. Cooking and baking calmed him down, especially in the early mornings.

But after scolding Finn for eating too much, and keeping the sugary maple syrup away and instead pushing the all-natural, organic one to his father, Kurt finally had time to wander into his room and check his laptop. He doodled a flower as it loaded, and sighed lightly, though happily, as he saw the familiar red box over his inbox. _Blaine_.

Only instead of an ask, it seemed to be that Blaine had simply sent him a link to a post on _his_ blog. Kurt tried not to roll his eyes, because it wasn't as if he didn't already check Blaine's tumblr every so often. Nevertheless, he clicked the link.

Staring back at him was a blurry picture of Blaine, and although he smiled a bit at the boy, Kurt scrunched his nose in confusion. Because this wasn't just a picture. It was a video, and at the very bottom of the post, it read, "Mainly for Kurt, but you guys can watch it too, of course!" He laughed at the punctuation, and clicked on the picture, waiting for it to load to start playing.

"Hello!" Blaine said, his smile wide. Kurt liked the way his hair looked like a mess, and he couldn't help but think that _this_ was more like the guy he had pictured from talking to him. Messy haired and bright eyed, happy and puppylike. However, he would overlook the fact that it appeared he was still in his pajamas, which from the looks of it were just a t-shirt and checkered pants.

"So, you probably are wondering, 'why is he posting a video? He never posts videos.' And I don't blame you!" He laughed then, and Kurt tried not to keep the sound in his head for too long, knowing that his brain had already filed it away to replay later at some point. "…But you know that feeling when you just _need_ to do something? Well, I woke up and wanted to make a video…and dedicate to all of you, but mostly to my friend Kurt."

Blaine stopped talking for a second, and Kurt watched as a wide smile spread across his lips. He raised his hand and waved, before speaking again into the camera, his eyes making direct contact with the lens and almost looking into Kurt's very own. "Hey Kurt. Hi. I hope you're watching this."

Kurt kept his heart from leaping, and took a deep breath before allowing himself to catch up with the video. Blaine had picked up a guitar, and let it rest comfortably across his lap as he went on explaining. "Well, I just wanted to dedicate this to you guys. Because I think people just need to know that…you're not alone. Even _I_ need to know that! So um…here's the uh, video."

Blaine looked down then, picking up the guitar and strumming it, tuning a string quickly before starting to play. It took him a moment to recognize the tune, due to the fact that he was somewhat fixated on the way Blaine _looked_. For three weeks he had been nothing but typed letters and scattered photos. Sometimes Kurt had forgotten he was real. But once he stopped staring, Kurt smiled as he recognized the song as soon as Blaine started singing.

"Hey Jude…don't make it bad…Take a sad song and make it better…"

He watched the song, and his smile only grew. Because he knew that this was for him, but he could feel that this was for Blaine too. This song meant more than just them too, because Kurt hadn't even told Blaine what was going on at school. His heart felt happier though, and he felt a little lighter, even after the bullying that only seemed to be getting worse every day. But Blaine's soft, crooning voice singing the words 'Na' over and over again reached his ears and filled him with bliss.

As the video finished, and Blaine waved goodbye without saying another word before it shut off, Kurt took a deep breath. He looked at the place where the dark haired boy had sung to him and wondered _why_. Why _him_, Kurt, of all people, to sing to? And what was it supposed to mean?

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><p><strong>Note:<strong> .com/watch?v=3lRk3e4rI3M is the version of 'Hey Jude' Blaine plays. I personally prefer the Beatles version, and I _really_ would have liked to keep it to the original, but I liked the fact that it had a short opening, which I needed for the fic /:


	5. Chapter 5

Authors Note: This chapter is just…_fun_. Let it stand alone! Next chapter is…a little intense, so I just wanted you guys to see more of Kurt and Blaine's interactions, to get a sense of where they are :)

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><p>"There's got to be a reason for the humming."<p>

Kurt had hardly noticed his father walk in as he stood at the counter making cupcakes. This time it wasn't to calm down, but actually to take to school tomorrow for Mercedes's birthday. It was nearly ten at night, and Kurt had demanded that Blaine go to sleep a few hours ago, which had actually been a difficult task seeing as Blaine had refused to for quite some time. The hours he didn't speak to the boy went by slowly, but Kurt always found time to fill them.

"I always hum," he said, raising an eyebrow and turning to look at his dad. Putting the mixing bowl down, he moved over to his cupcake tray, putting in a decorative cupcake paper holder in each.

His father shook his head though, and nudged him lightly as he answered, "Yeah, but not lately. And not so frequently. You haven't hummed this much since you found that authentic Alex Wang bag for under 100 bucks on Ebay."

His smile widened at the memory, and Kurt literally let out a small sigh. "It's Alexander Wang, dad. And that bag was beautiful. And cheap, but the good kind of cheap. And I was happy…and I guess I am now too."

But before Burt could say anything about the smile on Kurt's face, and the way he slightly looked out the window as he spoke, Kurt had poured the cupcake mix into all the individual places and popped it into the oven. Setting the timer, Kurt smiled quickly before tapping Burt's arm as he walked out of the kitchen, calling behind him, "Call me when it rings!"

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><p>There was only one message the next day, and Kurt raised an eyebrow. Now a days, it was more typical of Blaine to literally spam him while he was gone, using up all ten of his asks every couple hours. Not that Kurt ever answered all of them, seeing as most of the messages were Blaine spamming Broadway songs, but he was used to it. So one, like how they had started, seemed off.<p>

Clicking on it, Kurt looked at the message for a very long time.

'Kurt! You know what I just realized? Remember that day when we just kept missing each other (like, I mean, we were never on at the same time) and it pissed us off? Well, I realized…we should exchange Skype names! So just reply with yours and well, I should be online :) I hope the cupcakes worked out, by the way! I bet they were _delicious_ and I am almost really jealous I couldn't have them.'

It was Blaine. It was typical Blaine. Happy, exclamation points, and friendly. It was the Blaine that put a smile on his face. But this wasn't the problem. The problem was that Kurt didn't _have_ a Skype name, seeing as he didn't _need_ one. Or at least, hadn't needed one. He took a deep breath and panicked for a second, before realizing there was nothing to be afraid of.

Downloading Skype took less than ten minutes, and after signing up, Kurt was ready to actually respond to the dark haired boy. His heart was racing, and he had no idea why. Blaine simply wanted to talk to him more. But now, now they could talk without gaps, they could talk and it would be completely instant. Kurt felt a slight blush creep onto his cheeks as he hit in his name to Blaine and waited, not knowing at all what to expect.

He told himself to relax. He was Kurt Hummel, and he could do anything he wanted to, he had convinced himself of that. There was a small little blink at the bottom of his screen then, accompanied by a 'ping'. Kurt switched the window, and bit down hard on his lips as he saw the message.

'Blaine Anderson has a friend request for you'

Kurt's cursor hit the large, green button for accept quickly, and within two seconds, Blaine had already messaged him.

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt! Hey!

He took a breath, reminding himself that this was completely normal and that he_knew_ Blaine. He _knew_ who the boy he was speaking to was.

**Kurt Hummel: **Hey yourself.

**Blaine Anderson:** How did the cupcakes go? You didn't answer me on tumblr~

Kurt laughed, rolling his eyes at the words. _Of course_ he would mention them, again. Blaine had practically wept (or so Kurt had imagined him in his head) over the fact that he couldn't have Kurt's cupcakes himself. Kurt had promised to send some to him through the internet whenever that technology was available, and although Blaine seemed happy after he had said that, the thought that that technology probably would never exist seemed to fill Kurt's heart was sorrow.

Having a best friend a couple hundred thousand miles away was difficult.

**Kurt Hummel:** Mercedes loved them! She only had two, though. Puck and Finn took most of them, though. They were a hit, as always.

**Blaine Anderson:** Ugh, I'm still so jealous. But I'm glad they were good, I _really_ am. Not that a doubted they would be, just that I'm glad everyone liked them.

**Kurt Hummel:** People _always_ like my baking, Blaine ;)

He practically blushed as he sent that. Smileys, especially winking ones, weren't his thing. But he could tease, he supposed. That was alright, right? Kurt teased enough with his actual friends, that he figured there was no reason to feel like Blaine would take it any differently.

**Blaine Anderson: **I never said I doubted it!

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh boy, but it sounded like you did!

There was a lapse, longer than the other messages, and Kurt panicked again. Had he said something wrong?But then there was another 'ping!' and Kurt breathed out.

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh boy? Who says 'Oh boy'?

Kurt laughed out loud at that one, imagining the way Blaine's thick, triangular eyebrows would frown as he typed that. He had tried to memorize his features from the few videos he'd seen, and yet still he found himself wondering how some things would look like on Blaine's face. He sighed to himself at the thought, but didn't linger on it.

**Kurt Hummel:** I do, because I'm awesome and live in the United States of America, Rome kid.

**Blaine Anderson: **That's why you said you wanted to go to Europe, right, Lima kid? ;)

Rolling his eyes, Kurt looked at the letters fondly. He didn't know where this was going. He didn't know where they wanted this to go. All he knew was that Blaine Anderson put a smile on his face without even trying. That simply reading his name made a smile spread onto his lips. He knew that this boy was singlehandedly making things a lot better for him. There was something special about Blaine that he couldn't pinpoint at all.

But he smirked and let his long, graceful fingers move over his laptops keyboard as he typed out.

**Kurt Hummel:** Oh, shut up and go to sleep, _insomniac_.


	6. Chapter 6

Authors Note: So long…it just keeps getting longer and longer…Promise next chapter is light again!

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><p>It could have been the fact that it was nearly one in the morning in Rome when Kurt got online that threw him off. Although Blaine had gotten used to being awake late even before he had started talking to Kurt, it was just strange. However, the fact that Kurt was online was enough for Blaine to push that thought to the back of his head, simply content at the fact that this wouldn't be one of those days where they didn't get to speak to each other, because he'd started to notice that those days always seemed to be worse than others.<p>

Pulling his laptop onto his lap and curling into his covers, Blaine clicked Kurt's name happily and wrote a simple.

**Blaine Anderson: ** You're online!

The second thing that tipped him off that there was something wrong was the pause. Blaine was used to waiting a bit for Kurt to reply, though. It seemed to him that while he always replied immediately, probably because the second he heard the noise that there was another message he was already typing a reply; he always had to wait at least a minute for Kurt to. Regardless of how long it usually took Kurt to reply, Blaine noticed a considerable amount of time had gone by, seeing as he had hopped back onto his dashboard and been able to reblog two Harry Potter gifs before he heard the 'ping' meaning Kurt had replied.

**Kurt Hummel:** Yeah, sorry. I was baking.

He'd learned a few things about Kurt in the couple weeks they'd been speaking to each other. He'd learned that Kurt hardly ever talked about himself, and that whenever he wanted to avoid talking about something he would bring up something that he knew would distract Blaine, such as Harry Potter, or he would simply avoid the subject all together. He'd learned that although he liked to eat healthily, he actually wasn't a fan of a lot of vegetables. He'd learned that his favorite color was actually white and that his prize possession was his entire jacket collection.

But he'd also learned that aside from when he _had_ to, Kurt only baked when something was bothering him. And that was how Blaine was positive he wasn't being paranoid and that something really was wrong with Kurt. Or at least that something was bothering him.

There was a lump in his throat as he typed his reply back, and his heart somehow felt heavier than it had a minute later.

**Blaine Anderson:** Something up? Or just someone's birthday…

That pause was there again, and Blaine tried to picture Kurt on the other side of the screen, a world away in a small town in Ohio. He wondered what he looked like right now, what he was wearing, if he was biting down on his lip like he had seen him do one time before in one of his videos. Blaine wondered if Kurt's fingers were hovering over the keyboard. He let out a heavy sigh before seeing the reply.

**Kurt Hummel: **Don't worry about it. It's fine.

But he couldn't not worry. Every day he spoke more to Kurt, the more he cared. The more he wanted to know about him. Blaine wasn't sure how similar Kurt's life in high school was to the way his had been back in the states, back before his father had been transferred to Italy. His heart grew heavier thinking about that time in his life, and he shook his head. He hoped to everything that Kurt had a better time in high school than he had back in the U.S.

**Blaine Anderson: **But something's up, right? Kurt…look…I know we sort of don't really know each other, but you do know that you can tell me anything, right? I mean, it's not like I'm going to go telling people…

He had a point, and he hoped that got across to Kurt. Blaine was all the way in Rome, and there was literally no way for him to tell anyone anything that Kurt told him. Not only that but…Blaine wondered if Kurt felt as close to him as he felt to the boy, although he knew that he was keeping his fair share of 'secrets' from the boy.

The reply came a good couple minutes later.

**Kurt Hummel:** Yeah, I know that. But Blaine, I don't want to talk about it. It's nothing.

**Blaine Anderson:** Obviously it's not nothing, though, Kurt. If you don't want to talk about it, it's something.

His reply was out in a second, and Blaine almost cringed at how harsh the words sounded. His heart was racing though, and the lump in his throat was growing bigger.

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine, you wouldn't understand.

What wouldn't he understand? Blaine had been bullied, Blaine had a father who basically only ever let him go out if he lied and said he had a date with a girl. Blaine knew what it was like to move from one place to another. He knew what it was like to be the loser, although he had to admit that things were going considerably good for him now. But Blaine knew he could understand a lot of things, but he just wondered why Kurt felt so isolated that he couldn't talk about it.

**Blaine Anderson: **Try me. Kurt, I bet I would. Just…talk to me.

There was a long pause, and Blaine tried to remember what it was like for himself when he had been bullied. He remembered the way he had tried to talk to people. The way he had gone out of his way to look for people who might care, but he simply ignored it all. He took in a deep breath, silently wishing into the darkness of the room that Kurt, his best friend, wasn't going through the same shit he had been.

**Kurt Hummel:** You know, I'm usually really good with the things that they call me. I just say something back that's witty and they'd usually shut up. But it was just words before.

**Kurt Hummel:** I just feel like everyone is blind towards…bullying. I hate that word, though. It's ugly. But it feels like I'm invisible except to the guys who call me things, who make my life a constant hell. And I really just don't want to go to people because I'm not sure what they can do to help. Blaine, even if they could stop them, that doesn't change the world. That doesn't change the fact that everywhere we go, people like _us_ are going to be called words and get thrown against lockers…

**Kurt Hummel:** What's the point in trying, Blaine?

**Kurt Hummel:** And I completely understand if you don't feel like talking anymore or if you want to go to bed because you don't want to deal with me.

Blaine read Kurt's words over, before taking a deep breath. His hand had curled up into a fist, and he hadn't even realized it had been from anger as he read the words. He'd hoped…he'd hoped hard that Kurt hadn't gone through something similar.

But apparently the world hadn't changed, no matter where they were.

**Blaine Anderson:** Kurt, don't be like that. I would never just leave like that. Unless my dad comes in and takes away my laptop, I would _never_ just leave. I'm your friend. And…friends talk.

He took a deep breath, and kept writing, trying to keep his fingers from trembling. It was a lot easier to feign confidence over the internet than in person, and for _once_he was glad that they were so far apart, even if something inside of him wished he could reach out for Kurt's hand and squeeze it.

**Blaine Anderson:** I never told you, but I was taunted when I lived in the states. They…they were awful, Kurt. I remember the things they said. And I know that I'd still be going through the same crap if my dad hadn't been transferred here…But, I know people ignore it, and I know that it seems that the world won't change but…

Even in Rome, the 'holy city', life was better here for gays. Sure, he wasn't going to go strolling down the streets with his boyfriend, (not that he had one, because Blaine didn't) but he could admit that he was. He _knew_ a world beyond that of a small town, and right now he wanted to reach out through the screen, take Kurt's hand (which he could only imagine as soft) and pull him through the screen and to a world slightly more accepting.

**Blaine Anderson:** There are places, like my school, that doesn't care. There are people that honestly don't care. Look at your dad…he's amazing, Kurt. From what I hear, at least. You just…need to understand that. And you can't give up.

**Blaine Anderson: **And if you ever feel like you want to, you know that you can just sign on and I should be online…

There was a pause, a long, long pause and Blaine was scared that he had crossed a line, that he had said too much and Kurt was afraid. He wanted to backspace everything, he wanted to crawl into his covers and disappear, make the night disappear and erase all the bad thoughts going through Kurt's head; erase his _own_memories of being taunted.

But when he looked up, there was a message from Kurt, and it was simply a link.

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><p>Kurt hadn't been sure if he should do it. He'd read over Blaine's messages at least ten times, trying to partly see through the tears that had returned but also understand where he was coming from. How had he been so insensitive as to think that Blaine was any luckier than he was. Perhaps he had just wished he was luckier.<p>

But at the twelfth reading of his messages, Kurt knew what he wanted to do. He felt so vulnerable, and he honestly felt like he was crushed. But there was something in his heart that told him he wanted to do this. He wanted to show Blaine something he couldn't bring himself to show anyone.

He opened tumblr, and went to post a picture. Clicking on 'take a photo!', (he resented the exclamation mark) Kurt wiped away his tears and sniffled, trying to look somewhat presentable. Clicking the image of his tear stained, somewhat red eyes, he watched as the numbers went down from 3 to 1. A small smile crawled onto his lips at the last second.

The picture was blurry, and you could hardly make out that he had been crying, which he was actually happy about. His fingers worked slowly as he wrote underneath.

'Blaine. Thank you. Just…thank you.'

However, before hitting 'create post' and sending the link to Blaine instead of tagging his name in it like he usually did to posts he wanted the dark haired boy to see, Kurt went to the tags and wrote, making himself smile as he did

'Go sleep. We'll talk more tomorrow. Promise.'

And it _was _a promise. Kurt didn't want to push him away again. He didn't want to push the one person who could make him open up when he felt like crumbling down. He couldn't lose someone so important.


	7. Chapter 7

Authors Note: I've got to say, so far, this was my favorite to write! It was supposed to be a lot shorter than this, but I couldn't help myself!

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><p>Kurt hardly had any time to look up from his French homework and read Blaine's message before there was a new one, the familiar sound filling his earphones and interrupting his Adele playlist.<p>

**Blaine Anderson: **Woah, what are you doing here? You're never here when I get home cause of school…Are you sick?

He laughed as he read it over, shaking his head. Some part of him warmed at the thought that Blaine had jumped to the conclusion that something was wrong just by noticing that Kurt was home. Heaven forbid maybe there was some holiday today, or a teacher workday, as was the case. He sighed, putting down his pencil and replied to Blaine's eager message.

**Kurt Hummel: **No, no. I'm not sick. Teacher work day. I'm home alone because Finn is out with Rachel and my dad and Carole are working.

Getting up from his bed, he put his laptop down on his desk and stretched, before dropping down onto his hair as soon as he heard the ping again.

**Blaine Anderson:** Oh, cool! I'm home alone too. I always am right after school, unless I have Warbler practice.

**Kurt Hummel:** Must get lonely.

They kept talking, and for a while Kurt had slipped into their calm, usual routine of talking back and forth, asking about each other's day. He loved the fact that no matter how long they spoke, they never seemed to run out of things to say to each other. With Blaine, everything was effortless, everything was perfectly normal and simple. Everything was _right._

It _had_ seemed like any other normal day, until Blaine, after a few minutes of talking, replied and completely dropped the topic. (which Kurt resented, because they had been discussing favorite songs from The Sound of Music, and he never liked to lose an opportunity to explain why Edelweiss was one of the most amazing songs ever.)

**Blaine Anderson:** Hey…Kurt, I had an idea?

He raised an eyebrow at that, but sighed. Not out of frustration, but out of fondness, trying to figure out the way Blaine looked like confused or pondering. Did he make that stupid, yet adorable face Finn made? Or was it more like a simple wrinkle on his brow, right between his eyes? The thought of it made his heart race, and Kurt shook his thoughts away.

**Kurt Hummel:** Do tell.

It took Blaine a moment to reply, and that worried Kurt. Blaine _never_ took more than a second to reply, and when he did he almost always apologized and explained where he had been. However, the message he read as soon as the familiar 'ping' rang into his ears, made his cheeks blush violently.

**Blaine Anderson:** You think maybe you want to call? Like, video chat, over here, over Skype.

Kurt stared at the message, and his eyes went wide. There was no way out of this. If he said no or made up some excuse, Blaine would hate him. Blaine would think Kurt hated him or was avoiding him or wanted him gone. But what if he said yes, and Blaine absolutely hated him anyway because he was hideous. Not that Kurt thought he was hideous, but he was nervous of somehow not meeting up to Blaine's standards. Blaine, who every once in a while would spam soccer players and write in the tags that they were 'so hot'. Kurt wasn't athletic. He was thin and skinny and_not_ made to play soccer.

He got up and looked at himself in the mirror, trying to see if his outfit fit the occasion. Kurt sighed though, knowing that his simple white v neck long sleeve shirt and dark jeans was exactly what he would wear on days when he knew he was going to be staying around the house. It wouldn't make any sense for him to go into his closet and find a more suitable outfit for the first time Blaine saw him…

Taking a deep breath, he looked at the mirror for a moment later, before running his fingers through his hair and thanking his own skills that it was still perfectly coiffed up.

"You can do this," he whispered to himself, before closing his eyes and sitting back down on his desk chair.

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah, I mean. We're both home alone. Why not? It'll kill time?

**Blaine Anderson:** Awesome, okay, give me a second!

Kurt took a breath again, trying to calm down his racing heart, before he heard the sound of a phone ringing escape his speakers. 'Blaine Anderson is calling' flashed over his scene, and it took every ounce of courage he had in him to click 'answer'.

Within minutes, his screen transformed to show two tiny windows, although one was bigger than the other. The bigger one expanded and got lighter, adjusting itself to Kurt's computer as a room he recognized somewhat from photos on Tumblr popped into view. The walls looked green from where he was, and he noticed the way it was filled with book shelves, his mind wondering if Blaine had even read all of his books. The room looked smaller than his own, but he smiled at the way Blaine's bed was unmade, and the tv in the corner that was on mute but obviously showing some sort of soccer game. So that was Blaine's room…

But he turned his attention to the boy sitting in the middle of the image, the curly haired boy who's hair was slicked back with gel, the glare from the dimming sun over in Rome making it seem almost wet. His eyes, which Kurt wondered what color they were exactly (something told him that no little webcam would ever do them justice) shown darkly in the light. He was sitting up in his hair, although he could tell that he was sitting cross legged with one knee against his chest. Blaine's smile was the widest he had ever seen on the dark haired boy, and he couldn't help but smile although he was blushing slightly because some part of him _knew_ that smile was for, and because of him.

"What are you wearing?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow as he stopped laughing, cocking his head to the side. His eyes wandered down his torso, or what he could make out of it at least. He wore a dark blue blazer with red piping, a navy and red striped tie, with a white button down. Kurt tried not to notice the way Blaine had undone the top few buttons, but licked his lips as he glanced back up at his face.

"It's my uniform!" he answered, laughing. "I'm usually in my pajama's by the time you see a picture of me. But this is what I look like all day!"

His voice was unbelievable. It was sooth and perfect, quiet and calm when it needed to be and happy when it had to be. His expressions were all so genuine, and Kurt found himself taking a moment to gather his thoughts enough to answer.

Shaking his head, he smirked before saying, feigning composure, "It's very…dapper."

Blaine chuckled at that, ducking his head down for a moment out of what Kurt could only guess was embarrassment. He wished he could see the blush on his cheek, or if there was any blush at all. He wished he could see the twinkle in his eyes and watch up close the way his lips parted as he looked up at Kurt and into the camera. He smirked though, before hooking his thumbs behind the lapels of his blazer and straightening them out, wiggling his triangular eyebrows a bit, teasing Kurt.

"You did not just do that!" he laughed, ducking his own head, face instantly blushing. Was Blaine really actually teasing him? Or was he playing around. Running his fingers through his hair, Kurt tried to shake the look Blaine had been wearing on his face a moment ago, a look of sheer…_sensuality_. But Kurt was sure he had just imagined it. He was sure he was just seeing things.

However, when he looked up, he found Blaine looking at him in much the same way Kurt had imagined himself staring at Blaine. He swallowed, before blinking and licking his lips. "Blaine?"

As if in a trance, Blaine shook his head, and instantly laughed. "Oh, wow, sorry!" he said, his palm against his forehead as he looked away from the screen. "I just…you did something exactly the way I had pictured you in my head. It was a bit surreal."

The smile on Blaine's face was less wide, but it seemed somehow more real. It seemed sweeter, and it made Kurt take in a breath as he looked at him. He smiled back though, before nodding and saying softly, although loud enough for Blaine to hear, "This is a bit surreal."

"But in a good way, right?" Blaine's voice was hopeful, and Kurt chuckled at the twinkle in his _seemingly _dark eyes.

Nodding in response, Kurt leaned back and smiled softly, "In a really good way, actually."

They stared at each other then for what seemed like hours, but was actually less than a moment. Kurt watched the gentle rise and fall of Blaine's chest as he breathed, the way a few strands of hair had given way and curled over his forehead in the most endearing fashion. The world was still around them, and Kurt didn't want to think of going back to the world that didn't have Blaine looking back at him in it.

"Blaine?" called out a distant voice somewhere in Rome, traveling into Lima and into Kurt's room. A sigh followed it, before Blaine twirled around in his chair and called out in Italian, "Un momento!"

Turning around, his smile seemed strained as he said, "Hey, Kurt. That's my dad. I'll be back online in thirty minutes, okay? This was…" His voice trailed off as he heard his father's voice again, and Kurt watched as Blaine rolled his eyes. He smiled though, and this time it was natural again as his eyes locked with Kurt's across the screens. "This was great."

He nodded and smiled back at the other boy, "It really was. But go before you get in trouble. I'll be doing homework, but just message me."

Blaine nodded, before waving and getting up. He smiled on last time before closing in laptop screen, and a moment later, his image was gone and the call dropped.

Kurt, in a dazed state, got up from his desk chair and wandered around his room for a second, not really going anywhere. His mouth pressed against his lips, before he realized he was covering his mouth as he smiled the largest, widest grin he had in a_long_ time. Laughing, Kurt was practically giggling before he fell back onto his bed on his back, trying to make sense as to why his heart was racing so much.


	8. Chapter 8

Authors Note: I'm still not a hundred percent satisfied with this part…but I needed to finish it in order to keep going, and combining part 8 and 9 would have been _way_ too long. So here, have part 8. I promise part 9 is better.

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><p>It was the soft humming that tingled his ear gently, silently that reminded him what was going on. The sun outside his window was close to setting, and he knew that time was running out. He knew how this worked now. Somehow, after only a week, he was so used to it. It had slipped into the basic routine, simply becoming something they just..<em>did<em>. It, like everything they did, had become _normal_.

"Blaine, what are you humming?" Kurt asked, smiling to himself as he kept his head down, doing his French homework in silence.

This was what they did. Kurt would do his homework while Blaine was online, usually talking to each other about silly things like music, sometimes even helping each other with their homework. But most of the time, it was silent. They would spend their time as close as they could be to each other, which right now, was over web cam. And although his father would often come in and raise an eyebrow at the fact that there was a boy on Kurt's screen who apparently was doing nothing while Kurt did homework, he didn't care. Being around Blaine made him feel good, and safe. He wasn't going to let anyone strip that from hom. This was what they wanted to do, and it made sense to them.

There was a little chuckle from the dark haired boy, before he answered, his voice traveling into Kurt's ear through the headphones, "You've got to hide your love away, by The Beatles. Why, was it distracting?"

His voice was soft, and Kurt let it fill him. He had to whisper, due to the fact that both his parents were asleep, but it was still clear and soothing. It was everything Kurt needed.

Shaking his head, Kurt looked up at him and smiled back at the wonderful face slightly looking at him. "No, I was just wondering. It's always nice hearing you sing."

He watched the smile spread onto Blaine's lips, and Kurt took a deep breath. It wasn't fair that this was the only way he could see him. It wasn't fair that a smile halfway around the world could make an awful day so much better. It wasn't fair that Blaine had no idea that sometimes Kurt would glance up from his homework to look at him, trying not to stare at the way his arms bulged out of his thin t-shirt.

There was a pause, before Blaine's voice reached Kurt's ear again, only half of the usual calmness out of it. It was blanketed in concern, and Kurt tried hard not to roll his eyes as he heard the words, "You're being really quiet today. I just realized that…Something happen at school?"

And suddenly he regrets ever opening up to Blaine. He doesn't want to talk about it. Right now is his time to escape, his time to just slip into the pleasant routine they had set up. The last thing Kurt wanted to be talking about was school, because Blaine was his perfect thing. Blaine was what Kurt looked forward to coming home to – only not really because in reality, he was thousands of miles away. Even if he had told Blaine everything he had never wanted to tell anyone else a few weeks ago, Kurt hadn't been looking to relive that. Especially over cam where he couldn't hide the fact that he was crying.

Shaking his head, he sighed and looked up from his homework long enough to give Blaine a bit of a glare. The dark haired boy held up his hands and shrugged, but said nothing as if still waiting for a reply. Taking a deep breath, Kurt sighed, "I don't want to talk about it, okay? I'm trying to do homework and talking about it is just going to get me angry."

"So they did something?" Blaine asked, hesitantly.

All Kurt could do was sigh again. He wanted to both slap him in the head and hug him, because part of him knew that this was just Blaine being concerned. This was Blaine being _Blaine_. The boy was unraveling before his eyes, and Kurt was dying to know more.

"I really don't want to talk about it," he said, his tone a lot less agitated now as he watched Blaine's face, the way his eyes only fluttered lightly. Kurt _wanted_ to be snarky with him, but it was nearly impossible.

Nodding, Blaine offered Kurt a small smile before saying, "Gotcha."

A moment passed, and Kurt could hear Carole's voice bounding up the stairs calling for dinner. Smiling back at Blaine, he got out of his seat, leaning down to say, "You don't need to wait for me to get back. Go to sleep, okay?"

But the silly boy across the screen only smiles again, nodding slightly, "okay."

Kurt didn't return for another thirty minutes, helping Carole with the dishes so that she could go distract his father and keep him from wandering into his room as he spoke to Blaine. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to him, or that he didn't want Blaine to meet his dad. It was that he didn't want to have to explain Blaine to his father yet.

A part of him felt like he was smuggling a dog, feeding him under his bed. But as Kurt walked up the stairs to his room, he took a breath as he realized; there wasn't much to explain. Blaine was a friend, a close friend who lived in Italy. What was that difficult to understand?

"Blaine?" he asked, walking into his room and sitting down again.

The boy was still on his laptop, but Kurt had caught him mid yawn, only to have a goofy smile given back to him as soon as the darker eyed teen looked at him as he slipped on his headphones. "Hey."

"You should have gone to sleep," Kurt sighed, rolling his eyes as he picked up his pencil, but didn't go back to work.

"I didn't want to, I'm not tired yet," Blaine replied, shrugging lazily.

Kurt looked at him for a beat, before looking down at the glass on his desk. Moving the pencil in circles over the surface, he let out a breath before asking, "How long have you even been in Italy?"

It took Blaine a moment to answer, but the reply reached Kurt's ear through the headphone. He hadn't looked up yet, his eraser making light etches of the glass, absentmindedly trying to distract himself.

"I've been here for two years, actually."

It's the next question that he felt awkward asking, but he had wanted to know the answer for a while. Especially after the events of today, the events that Kurt was trying his best to even keep out of his own head, Kurt just needed to know.

He needed to know it hadn't been for nothing.

"Blaine," he started, looking up, meeting the dark haired teens eyes. Taking a breath, he continued, "where you _here_ when you came out?"

Almost instantly Kurt knows he shouldn't have asked. He watched as a dark shadow passed over Blaine's face, wondering at once what it meant. Blaine, who so often was just plain smiles and happiness, now looked like he had seen a ghost. It was his turn to lower his head, and Kurt looked at him as he played with his headphones, noting the way he nodded slightly before looking up.

His eyes are darker than usual, even in the dimness of his room. He took a breath before answering, "I came out a few months before I left, actually. My dad got relocated though and we moved."

That's all he said, but the moment still passes between them. Kurt still feels like the second their eyes connect, he understands it. Or so he hopes, because looking into the eyes that look so dark but he knows aren't, he feels that Blaine really did mean it when he said that things had been hard for him. He can feel that just like him, Blaine had to go through all the shit that came with being out and proud in high school…and a part of him wanted to hug Blaine.

But he wanted to do that a lot lately.

They left it at that, and Blaine smiled and told Kurt to go back to his homework. Obliging him, Kurt began conjugating verbs in French, before he heard a soft, low sound a while after. Looking up, he blinked and looked at the screen, staring wide eyed at the sleeping boy in front of him. Blaine, who had moved to rest on his pillow sometime while Kurt had been finishing his homework, had fallen asleep. On camera. The white light of the laptop illuminated his peaceful face, and Kurt yelped a bit. He was…beautiful, and he suddenly felt so wrong watching him like this. Like he was violating him by watching such a private little moment.

But his soft breathing reached his ears, and Kurt sighed. Smiling, he looked down at his homework again, picking up his pencil, before beginning to hum the first couple bars of 'Blackbird' without even noticing, trying to lull the boy to sleep as he scribbled down the last few words, smiling to himself as he finished the rest of his work, waiting for Blaine's laptop to run out power to go to bed.


	9. Chapter 9

Authors Note:Crap, this part ended up being _really_ long. I did say I was going to put 10 and 11 together to make a longer part, but I'm unsure if it's going to be longer than this one…

However, I _really_ like this part, so I hope you guys do too.

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><p>He doesn't think it's silly that his watch was set back six hours so that he could try to picture what Kurt was doing. Blaine liked the fact that whenever he looked down at his watch during class he knew Kurt was sleeping, and wondered what he was dreaming about. His friends would complain whenever they asked for the time and it took him a while to read the watch face and add six hours to get whatever time it was in Rome, but Blaine thought it was one of the most practical things he had ever done. It made him feel closer to him, especially when they couldn't be talking.<p>

But he didn't have to look down at his watch, which was nearly impossible to see in the darkness of his room to tell that it was unusually late and Kurt still wasn't online. The clock in the corner of his laptop stared back at him, and Blaine took a deep breath before refreshing his dashboard hopelessly.

A red block hung over his inbox, and Blaine frowned slightly in confusion. Kurt never had to message him on tumblr because of Skype, and before opening the message he switched windows and checked his Skype, but Kurt's name was grey. Taking a deep breath, he went back to his bashboard and clicked the red block, knowing that it was probably just one of his followers asking what movie the gif he had just reblogged was from. Something typical like that.

But the real message left in his ask stared back at him and Blaine swallowed hard as he read the hard text.

'I'm not getting online today. Go to sleep, Blaine.'

He panicked. What had happened? Had he done something? Had it been something he said? Was it the fact that a few nights ago, Blaine had fallen asleep on camera? Blaine's mind instantly started to blame himself, scolding himself, wondering why he could never do anything right. The first person he really felt like he could be close with in a long time and he had already screwed it up. But almost as quickly as that thought came, Blaine put it away.

What if something had happened to Kurt? What if something was wrong? Blaine knew he was overreacting, but it was as if he could sense that something was wrong, and that mere fact both scared and confused him. He couldn't ever explain it to himself how he just _knew_ something was bothering Kurt sometimes, but it had come in handy during their many conversations. However, right now, he had a bad hunch that something wasn't right, and he wasn't sure if it was if it was his fault or if it had to do with school, but he knew something was wrong.

But what could he do? His heart was racing, but he felt helpless. Kurt was an ocean away and then some and it wasn't like Blaine could hop in a car and drive to him, talk to him and ask him what was wrong. He felt utterly powerless sitting there on his bed with his laptop on his lap, unsure of what to do.

And then he had a crazy idea. Putting his laptop down at the end of his bed, Blaine walked over to his bag and felt around, finally finding his wallet. His fingers traced over the cold leather, before he found the plastic card and stared back at it, trying to make his decision.

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><p>The buzzing snapped him out of his review, and Kurt frowned, wondering why he hadn't turned his phone off when he had gone to lay down. Sitting up, he reached for his phone and looked at the screen. Even through his blurry, teary vision, he made out the number, but didn't recognize it. Frowning more, he sniffled a bit and wiped away his tears, before touching his screen to pick up the phone.<p>

"Who is this?" he asked, hoping his voice didn't sound too strained, too mucus-y and wrong. Most of all he hoped they were just someone with the wrong number so that he could go back to laying down.

"Kurt?" the voice on the other side was hardly a whisper, but Kurt heard it. He heard it and he knew who it was. He had learned to recognize that voice on command.

Eyes growing wide, Kurt stared at his phone for a moment before pressing it against his ear in disbelief. It took him a moment to answer, his voice shaking and not because of the tears. Had he suddenly gone insane? Perhaps this was all a dream…that made the most sense. Because this was _impossible._

"Blaine?" he choked out, both incredulously and stunned. This can't happen, but he knows that that voice belongs to no one else. "How are you calling me?"

He laughs, and Kurt winces. He hasn't heard anyone laugh all day, but the sudden way that the sound vibrates into his ear and down his body is different. Blaine feels closer, somehow, even if he can't see him. The laugh went from startling him to making him feel calm, and Kurt closed his eyes for a moment to take it all in.

His voice was still a whisper, and the brunette wondered why until he remembered it was nearly two in the morning for Blaine and he needed to be quiet. Suddenly, he felt bad for having waited so long in telling him he wouldn't be online, but listened instead, "I bought a calling card. I mean, my mom asked me to buy one so I could call my grandma in Connecticut on her birthday next week, but I bought two instead." There was a pause, and Blaine seemed to clear his throat before adding, more to himself than anything, "Just in case."

Kurt's heart pangs, and he _knows_ he had worried Blaine with his message. But he couldn't have spoken to him today. His eyes are red and puffy, his cheeks stained with tear tracks. If there's anything in the world Kurt doesn't want to do right then, it's let anyone see him this way. Even_ Blaine_, the boy who had already gotten him to say so much.

"Blaine," he sighs, shaking his head. "You shouldn't have…"

But the curly haired boy interrupted him, and Kurt's eyes grew wide as he listened. "I know I shouldn't have. And you probably think I'm weird and crazy, and probably a bit obsessive…but I was worried maybe you hated me or were mad at me for something. And then I realized that was stupid…but I got even more worried that you…you were hurt."

There's pain in Blaine's voice, and despite all his own pain, Kurt wanted to hold onto Blaine's voice, hold onto Blaine, and take away all the hurt. Kurt had never felt like this before, putting his own pain aside and concentrating on the one in Blaine's voice. Was it the worry that made him sound like that? Or was it something else completely? He wished he hadn't been so…awfully terse in his message.

"I'm fine," Kurt breathed out, sighing as he pulled his pillow closer to him, now laying down on his bed again. "I'm not hurt. I'm just…I didn't want to be online. "

The line goes silent for a moment and Kurt closed his eyes as he listened to Blaine's steady breathing. He wondered what he looked like right now, in the darkness of his own room across the ocean. He wondered what color was his shirt and if he still had his laptop on his lap. Kurt then wished he could see, but realizes _this_ felt better.

"What happened?" Blaine asked his voice quiet and hesitant.

It took Kurt a minute to find any words. His heart is heavy in his chest, and he sniffles as if not to cry, trying to push out the way he faintly hears Blaine's own breath catch as he heard Kurt. Part of him wanted to push Blaine away like he did the other day. Dismiss it and tell him he doesn't want to talk about it, change the subject and take Blaine's mind away from it. His indecision prompted Blaine to go on, though.

"You don't have to tell me," he whispered into the phone, heavy into Kurt's ear. "I just…I know how bullies get. And I know what it's like to feel like no one cares. But _I_care, Kurt…"

His voice wavers and Blaine takes a breath, but doesn't continue. Kurt wondered why he stopped, but blinks back the tears that have reached his eyes again. Taking in a deep breath, he knew it was his turn to speak now.

"I know," he said, his voice trembling. Wiping away his tears, Kurt took in a labored breath before continuing, "I know you care. I just didn't want to worry you and I didn't want to ruin our conversation, so I figured I wouldn't get online. I'd wait and it'd be better tomorrow and we could talk about something nice."

He feels ashamed for saying that, and Kurt hates this whole honesty thing. Even if he is used to being open with people about what he thinks, he never outright says how he feels. Years of having to hide his real emotions, his real feelings, have condition him to keep that part of him inside. And he hates Blaine Anderson for changing that.

"I'm your friend, right?"

Blaine's voice reached his ear, and Kurt's eyes sprung open at once. It was still a whisper, but somehow it had been loud, but not imposing at all. It was a simple question, a simple and extremely honest question.

Kurt nodded furiously, before he realized Blaine couldn't see. Sighing, he wiped his tears away and whispered, "You're my _best_ friend right now, Blaine. You make…you make it easier."

He adds a little laugh, and it feels weird to laugh. But he has to laugh when he realizes it's _true_. Blaine makes it so much easier. Even from across an ocean.

It's like he could hear the smile in Blaine's voice as he whispered into his phone, "You're my best friend too. I just want you to have someone to talk to…it makes all the difference."

There's a lot hanging in his words, and Kurt swallows hard. He nods, but it's to himself. One day, he'll ask Blaine what he means by that. One day he'll whisper into Blaine's ear and ask him what had happened to him, but it's too much right now. One ghost, one demon at a time.

"The football team…They kind of ganged up on me. They didn't hurt me, so don't…don't start getting worried about that. They just said some…things. And I was able to walk away before anything happened, but they…got to me, okay? Usually its okay, but I couldn't take it today. And I didn't want you to see me cry." Kurt stopped, wiping his tears away and taking in a deep breath. He chuckles though, and adds, "I don't look good when I cry."

Blaine laughed at that, and Kurt smiles just hearing it. The sound of it fills him with much needed warmth, and Kurt stops crying. "I doubt that," he whispered, and Kurt pretended not to hear it, pretended not to feel his heart skipped a beat.

He humed softly, and pressed his head deeper into the pillow. The sun had already set for him, and his room was dark aside from the slight glow from orange light in the hallway and outside from his window. It was quiet, and over Blaine's breathing he could hear the television playing downstairs as Finn and his dad talked about football. Carol was doing the dishes, and he felt guilty for not helping her, but he doesn't want to get up. He doesn't want to lose Blaine's soft breathing in his ear.

"You should sleep," he whispered, closing his eyes.

His answer was a slight chuckle, and he pictured Blaine shaking his head as he smiled, his gelled hair (or had he washed the gel off by now? He knew Blaine took a shower after school on Mondays and Thursdays after Polo and fencing, but he couldn't be bothered to remember what day it was) moving back and forth. "I'm fine, I'm not tired at all," he replied, and Kurt smiled at his voice.

Kurt opened his mouth to reply, before yawning and frowning at himself after. Suddenly he realized just how tired he was, and he wasn't happy. "Apparently I am…" he said to himself out loud, before sighing. Reaching down to the end of the bed, Kurt pulled his throw over himself, not caring that he was still in his school clothes, not wanting to put the phone down long enough to change into something sleep appropriate. Hugging the fluffy brown blanket, he breathed out, his voice hushed, "I can't believe you got a calling card for me."

He sensed the pause and didn't know how to read it, but somehow knew it wasn't bad. It was heavy, but in a good way, and he took a deep breath as Blaine whispered into his ear, "I never thought I'd have the courage to call you with it."

It's said, and Kurt just smiled. There's nothing else said after it, and he lets Blaine's breathing once again wrap around him like the blanket he's successfully gotten to envelop himself in. He felt warm, and protected, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. With his eyes closed, Kurt could sense himself nodding off to sleep as he heads Blaine start singing softly, hardly audible.

'_Hey Kurt, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better…"_

He remembered the night, a few weeks ago, a few days after they had first met, when Blaine had sung the song to him over tumblr. But this was better. This was intimate, and soft, and perfect. It was the best ending to one of the worst days of his life.

He was too sleepy to say anything, whispering the words 'thank you' in his head, and listening to Blaine as he continued to sing, replacing 'Jude' with his name every time, saying him instead of her when the song called for it. As he finally drifted to sleep - before Blaine waited a few minutes to hang up and let Kurt continue sleeping - Kurt couldn't help but feel like Blaine was right next to him, lying beside him in his bed, smiling at him as he sang, pushing his hair out of his forehead and trying to take away all the troubles much in the way his mother had whenever Kurt had tripped or broken something as a child, and he realized just how much he wished that were possible.


	10. Chapter 10

Authors Note: Right. So…this part is _long_. And just…I love it. It took me a while to piece out in my head, but I really hope I did every scene in my mind justice and I apologize for how long it took. However, here's a nearly 4,000 word chapter!

* * *

><p>The envelope was a perfect square, and Kurt weighed it in his hands as he flipped it right side up and backwards again, twirling it as he looked for the opening. His fingers were shaking, and he was sure his brain was simply stalling. Kurt wasn't mentally prepared to open the envelope, which looked a little too big to just be holding a simple letter. There was something else, and the thought of that plus the mere fact of its existence alone made his heart flutter, and he closed his eyes for a moment, sitting down on his bed finally as he told himself that he needed to stop being stupid.<p>

His hands stopped, and he looked at the envelope, resting it on his lap as a hand graced over the front of it, looking for where it would be easiest to open. Taking in a breath, he leaned towards his bedside table, grabbing for one of his sai's until feeling the hilt of it in his hand. He flipped it up, and easily opened the blade, putting it down on his bed as his trembling fingers reached down the white hard envelope to reach out for the letter Blaine had sent him.

It had been his idea to exchange letters, and had taken him days to find enough courage to bring it up to ask Blaine. Although he knew the boy was going to say yes, Kurt had felt awkward asking. He had no clue where this was going, and he didn't want Blaine to think something that Kurt wasn't trying to give off. Right now, although whenever he saw Blaine's eyes on him he blushed ferociously, Kurt really just wanted someone to be there for him the way Blaine had been. Even if Kurt did curse every second he felt something close to 'the butterflies'.

Which happened the second his hands reached and pulled out a light red envelope with the initials 'B.A' in a darker, raised cursive print. He laughed at the fact that Blaine had personalized stationary, happy that he had sent his own letter, along with a (flawless, in his opinion) Mix CD, in a simple, but chic blue envelope with golden Flur Fe lis's on it while the paper was cream with a blue border. He sighed as he opened the envelope, trying to not wonder if Blaine's tongue had sealed it, trying not to picture the way it had dragged over the paper, trying not to get lost in a day dream that involved Blaine's tongue doing other things but failing and blushing horribly before scolding himself for being a pervert, because he _really_shouldn't be thinking about anyone like that, let alone his friend.

The envelope snapped open with a light pop as his fingers went over the seam, and Kurt bit down on his lip happily as he pulled out the folded white paper inside. Unfolding it, his eyes went wide as he noticed Blaine had written on both sides of two pieces of paper, feeling somewhat awful for only writing a page and a half. But his eyes closed for a moment, as he pictured Blaine in his room, hunched over his wooden desk, writing the letter he now held in his hand.

This was Blaine. This was the closest thing to Blaine he could get to at the moment, and Kurt was having trouble even coming to terms with that. _This_ was tangible. It was Blaine. It had touched his hands, it had been worked on. It held his beautiful handwriting, with curling L's and falling G's, neat yet cramped and perfectly boyish. These pages held Blaine in them, and Kurt felt pathetic for feeling his eyes start to get watery as his eyes glided across Blaine's writing.

"Dear Kurt,

It's a bit cheesy to actually write a title like that, isn't it? Maybe I should have been more personal, like 'Hi, Kurt!' and just go from there. But then I thought about the Sound of Music and remembered Liesel and Rolf said 'Dear' and I thought you'd appreciate the little musical theater aspect. Or maybe I'm strange for noticing that. Also, neither one of us is like Rolf at all, so that wasn't supposed to be some sort of simile. I'm rambling already and I only just started. Only around you, I swear."

Kurt laughed, because he wondered if that was actually true. Blaine had said it before, one night when they were talking and he had gone on this little rant. It made Kurt feel good though, that he wasn't the only one that felt different around the other than they did with anyone else. But the letter was so flawlessly him, and Kurt's eyes were glued to the paper as he stretched out onto his bed on his stomach, reading the letter slowly and twice over.

And he was glad he had read it that second time, or else he wouldn't have noticed the small, tiny writing underneath his 'Affectionately, Blaine'. (Kurt had smiled like an idiot when he saw that, but prided himself at the fact that it was over the fact that it was going on with the thought of the Sound of Music.)

Squinting, he tried reading Blaine's cramped handwriting in the corner.

"P.S. Make sure to shake the big envelope! Don't throw it away just when you pull out the envelope this came in, and if you did go back and get it; (I'll apologize if you had to go into the trash or something, promise) there's a little something extra."

He was actually more confused than anything when he read that, having thought that he had only felt the envelope itself in the large package. For a moment, Kurt rolled his eyes at the thought that maybe Blaine had forgotten to add whatever else he had been talking about, but trusted the boy. Picking it up, he tipped it upside down and surely enough, two post cards fumbled onto his bed.

Kurt stared for a while, unable to believe that Blaine, just like him, had thought about adding a little something extra to their little letter exchange. The two post cards were perfect too, with one a very typical tourist one, showing the coliseum all lit up at night, although Kurt was too flattered at the fact that Blaine had thought of him to even care. The other though, was the one that he picked up and stared at for a while although he had recognized it instantly.

Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck stood there, laughing at each other as she leans into him and he hugs her. There was a face behind them, and to anyone else it means nothing, but Kurt smiles wide. It's _Roman Holiday_, and Kurt doesn't know what to think about the fact that Blaine thought of him long enough to know just how much something so simple meant to him. There was hardly anyone that knew just how much Kurt adored Audrey Hepburn and that film.

But Blaine knew.

Checking the clock, Kurt sighed as he got up to tuck the post card into his bag. That one was absolutely going up in his locker. He knew just the spot too. He turned on his computer, but knew Blaine wasn't going to be online at all today. It was already too late, seeing as it was nearly seven for Kurt, and Blaine wasn't online. It was rare that Blaine wasn't already online when he got home, but the boy had warned him that he had a fencing competition that would run late, and Kurt had nodded long enough to get it across that he understood as he tried to picture Blaine in those white suits. There was always a few nights every couple weeks where they couldn't talk, but Kurt was used to it.

Pressing the postcard to his lip, Kurt kept it there for a while before sighing again. He thought about reading Blaine's letter again, or at least that little part where he ranted about how much better Kurt was than a lot of the guys who he went to school with, but shook his head before heading downstairs to his car to meet Mercedes for coffee.

* * *

><p>"What's that?" Burt asked as he closed the fridge after grabbing some jam for his toast, organic of course, and chosen by Kurt.<p>

Looking up from the sink, where he placed his now empty glass of milk, Kurt turned to his father as if he couldn't remember what he had placed there this morning, the coliseum a wonderful orange against the purple Roman sky, thinking that maybe their kitchen could use a little Ancient European flavor. Kurt hadn't been thinking he was going to have to explain it though. He shrugged a bit, before turning back to the sink and pulling the tap up to clean his plate, "Well, obviously it's the Roman Coliseum, Dad."

It was as if he could hear his father roll his eyes even with his back turned to him, and he almost winced as he heard his father chuckle to himself, the noise clearly un amused. There wasn't a way to get out of this one without some form of explanation.

"I know that, Kurt. But I mean, why did you put it up there? Unless it was Carole…"His father's voice faded as his thoughts fade of his fiancée, who had to go work early today but was living there with Finn, her son and Kurt's school mate.

"It wasn't Carole." Kurt heard himself say, and literally pressed his nails into his palm as he curled his hands into fists, wondering why he could never lie to his father. It would have been easy to say it wasn't his, and beg Carole when she got home to just say she had thought it was pretty. That was the easy way out.

But he had said it, and now it was too late. There were more questions waiting for him, and soon enough Kurt would tell the truth. The post card had come from an amazingly sweet, wonderful American boy living in Rome because of his father's business.

"It's from my friend, Blaine," Kurt added, not even waiting for the question, wanting to make things clear, standing straighter than before. There was a way this wouldn't turn into a disaster, he was sure of it.

It took Burt a moment to say something, and when he finally did, Kurt watched as his eyebrow rose before asking, "And?"

He shrugged, looking at the floor, suddenly interested in the tile. Kurt didn't want to give everything away, because he knew how his father could get. He knew that there were things he didn't like, and one of them was strangers. And from the way he would see it, a boy talking to his son over the internet was danger waiting.

"He's just a friend, if that's what you think. He liked the post card so he gave it to me, that's all though," Kurt answered, looking up again at his father, meeting his eyes confidently, more so than he had felt himself. "There's nothing wrong with giving your friend a little post card."

"I never said that." Burt's voice was serious, and Kurt wanted to wince. He didn't mean to make his father angry, but somehow he felt as if he needed to make it clear, if anything, that Blaine and he weren't involved in any way romantic. That was the last misunderstanding he wanted.

But his father kept going, getting closer to him, although he could tell in his stance, which was still relaxed, that there was nothing to be afraid of yet. His voice lowered a bit though, but the silence in it was questioning, "Kurt, is that who you've been talking to every night for the past couple weeks? Why haven't we met him? I mean, we've barely seen you around down stairs because you're always in your room talking to someone. Why hasn't he just come over so that we can get to see you and whoever the mystery guy is?"

Kurt can't help but laugh, and the sound was bitter. How he wishes it were that simple. How he wishes he could simply call Blaine and ask him to come over. How he dreams of the day where he could open his door and expect Blaine to be the one standing there, to finally actually confirm his theory on just what color his eyes are. It literally _pains_ him to think of the fact that he can't, and the fact that his father thought (although Kurt knows deep down that his father couldn't have helped but assume that he lived near) he could just walk across the street and come over, like he doesn't live an ocean away, was like an arrow straight through his chest.

"That's a bit impossible," he answered though, shaking his head. Sighing, Kurt looked up and tried to meet his father's eyes as he spoke, "Blaine lives in Rome, Dad. That's why I have to talk to him when I get home, because it's late for him…"His voice trails off as he closes his mouth, licking his lip in fear and anticipating.

And then it really took a minute for his father to say anything. Kurt tried to look on the bright side. No more lying. No more not mentioning Blaine. He had hated having to be quiet about someone so important to him, and in all honesty, it had felt like he had been ashamed of Blaine, and that was the last thing he was. He waited for his father to say something, waited for any show of emotion, waited for any indication that everything was alright.

His eyes just squinted a bit, and he shook his head before meeting Kurt's eyes. "…So you're talking to this kid online? And don't tell me he moved from Lima to Rome before I could meet him, Kurt." He sighed then, and sat down at the table in front of plate, an empty, boring slice of toast still lying there waiting for the jam that had started this conversation. Burt pressed his fingers to his temples and rubbed and Kurt waited impatiently for his father to keep going, his heart pumping.

But what came out wasn't what he had expected at all. His father's hands raised and flailed over his head, looking at Kurt, his eyes less angry and more concerned if anything as he spoke. "How do you know this kid is even a _kid?_ He could be some forty year old rapist who lives a few blocks down and is just trying to stalk you! He probably got that card at Wallmart; I think I've seen one just like that. Kurt, I thought you were smarter than to…"

Kurt wasn't hearing anymore though. His mouth fell open and he looked back at his father in shock as he spoke, before shaking his head as he looked at him, leaning closer. "You think I didn't think these things? I'm not stupid, Dad. You know that! Blaine isn't some forty year old guy. He's a sixteen year old boy who happens to live really, _really_ far away!"

His voice was soft, as he answered, but strong enough to get Kurt to listen. "You don't know what these guys are capable of…" Burt shook his head again, and added somewhat louder, "These guys are sociopath's, Kurt. I saw a 60 Minutes special on one who led this girl…"

But the singer couldn't take anymore. Uncharacteristically of him, Kurt walked out the kitchen, and bounded for his room, his sock covered feat pounding onto the floor as his swung his door open, not caring that Finn could wake up. He was in a place where the only thing he could see in front of him was what he was doing currently, and he would pay for the consequences later.

Glad that he was already dressed, Kurt didn't even bother checking the time as he opened his laptop, knowing and hoping that Blaine would be online and on Skype like he usually was on Saturday afternoons for him. Drumming his fingers against the desk, he clicked open Skype and clicked Blaine's name instinctively.

**Kurt Hummel**: Can I call?

And Blaine, like always, answered within milliseconds.

**Blaine Anderson:** Yeah, of course.

* * *

><p>"Kurt?" Blaine said, as he began to make out was seemed to be a kitchen, from the fridge in the background. However, he was certainly more focused on Kurt's face, which seemed angry as he said nothing in return. The sun was shining bright from wherever Kurt was in his house, and Blaine could only think about how much he loved it whenever they called at this time if only because the sun made it look like they were closer than they actually were.<p>

The screen shifted though, and swerved until he was looking at a middle aged, bald man with a baseball cap. Blaine's eyes went wide, and he swallowed hard as he looked back at the intimidating man who looked just as puzzled as Blaine did. Still, for all his obliviousness, it clicked in his brain. _This_ man was Burt Hummel.

This was _so_ not the way he had wanted to meet Kurt's father.

"Blaine, this is my father, Burt. He wanted to meet you. Dad, meet Blaine Anderson. A _perfectly normal sixteen year old boy._" Kurt's voice was harsh, and Blaine heard the inflection onto those words, and he really, _really_ started to wonder what was going on. He was nervous though, and there was literally nowhere to go as he stared at the man staring back at him, who wouldn't even smile although Blaine was grinning timidly.

The man nodded though, and Blaine sensed that that meant whatever this was about was going well. Blaine smiled a bit wider, although that seemed to make the man uneasy, which was an as far away from a response as he was used to when he smiled. Blaine Anderson usually such a hit with parents, but within the first couple seconds of meeting Burt, he had already failed. He was glad that his own parents were out eating, happy that they couldn't come in and join this already extremely awkward Skype call.

"So, you live in Italy?" Burt asked, raising an eyebrow on the somewhat blurry webcam video.

Nodding, his un gelled curls falling slightly over his face, Blaine smiled again as he answered, "Yes. I moved here two years ago, when my dad's business got…"

"What does your father do?"

He had the same look on his face: strict, serious and unrelenting. Blaine had never felt like running away more, and he had been through scarier things back before he had moved. But there was something about this man, the way he held himself, that made Blaine feel small.

"He's a businessman. Um, he works for this big company that sells medical products, and it moved here a few years ago…"

Burt interrupted him though, shaking his head as if he was shaking off what Blaine was saying. Staring back at the webcam, Burt glared as he leaned forward, voice strong as he asked, "Blaine, you're not lying to me, right? You're not lying to _Kurt_, _right?_"

"Dad!" he heard Kurt in the background, and soon the striking brunette came into the frame, trying to turn his father's attention to him. They weren't yelling at each other, but he could hear the tension in their voices. He could hear that Kurt was clearly upset, and Blaine sensed that Kurt's father wasn't happy, but wasn't sure if it was with him, with himself, or with Kurt.

He blocked out their conversation though, listening to himself. Blaine wasn't lying. And he wasn't sure what he was supposed to not be lying about. However, he knew he wasn't lying to Kurt. There were things that he hadn't told him, like the beating and his father, but he wasn't keeping any secrets from Kurt if he asked. There was no reason to keep a secret from Kurt who Blaine already knew had opened up to him so much more than other people. Blaine trusted him, and Blaine hoped to everything Kurt could trust him the way he always had.

"I'm not," he said, shaking his head, but looking at the father and son who had stopped their bickering. Sighing, he gave them a smile, before adding, "How could I even lie to Kurt, though? He'd be able to tell instantly."

They stopped, and Blaine watched as the smile spread onto Kurt's lips before hearing his father's booming laugh. He wasn't sure why he was laughing, or if it was a good thing, but he laughed along with him, and Kurt who had also burst into laughter. However, Kurt leaned forward, and with a wide smile said, albeit through giggles, "I'll talk to you in a bit, okay? I'm…I'm so sorry for this, I'll explain later."

Blaine doesn't have time to say okay before the screen goes back and the call dies. He sighed, and glanced down at what he had been holding the whole time they had been talking. A mix CD in a pink case, with an envelope taped to it with what he could only assume was Kurt's full letter. He hadn't read it though, nor listened to the CD, having had just opened it a few minutes before his call. Dropping it onto his lap though, Blaine ran a hand through his hair, trying not to think about what had just happened and thanking everything he had been wearing clothes instead of his pajamas when Kurt had called.

* * *

><p>There laughter died out slowly, and Kurt shook his head before pressing his hand against his lips in disbelief. If there was anyone who could turn a horrible moment into a joke, it was Blaine, and something in his chest felt warm and fuzzy as he thought of the adorable look on Blaine's face as he had looked at his father, so oblivious to the entire situation.<p>

Looking at him, his father shook his head and pointed at this laptop as he calmed down, "Is he serious? He…that guy…" He shook his head again, and Kurt could tell his father couldn't believe what had happened at all. Inside Burt Hummel's mind, he had pictured the horrible things that could have happened to Kurt if his predictions were true. Inside his mind, Blaine Anderson was a sociopath capable of doing _anything_ he wanted. The boy with the goofy smile had proved that all wrong. "That guy couldn't hurt a fly."

Kurt sighed in relief, happy to see his father thought that, although he knew that Blaine had been fencing for a few years now, but figured that after what had happened only twenty minutes prior to now, it was better if he simply didn't mention that Blaine knew how to handle a sword. He was just happy to know the ridiculous notion that he was some sort of murderer was out of his head.

"I told you he was just a kid," Kurt said, closing the lid of the laptop and picking it up slowly, looking at his father. Kurt stoped though, taking a deep breath as he looked him straight in the eye. "I'm not stupid, Dad."

He looked at him for a minute, and nodded. That nod took away all Kurt's fears, and he could only feel relief. No more lying, no more hiding. Blaine was out there, and that little bit of him that was tangible that had come with the letter felt stronger now. It didn't matter that when he called him again in an hour Blaine would ask what that had been about. It didn't matter that that required another awkward conversation.

The only thing that mattered was that somehow, Kurt felt a little bit more accepted.

—

_**Authors Note: **_Okay, so, here is Kurt's stationary.: .: . . And this is the photo of _Roman Holiday_ Blaine got Kurt: .com/images/artists/artist/31122/roman-holiday_jpg_627x325_crop_upscale_


	11. Chapter 11

Authors Note: Sometimes I read what I write and seriously just ask myself if I'm that cheesy in real life. Without further ado though, here is your _adorable_ part 11. It's longer than the last update. This fic is getting _long_.

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><p>It had been the fireplace that had held his attention, the flicking lights casting shadows across the carpet as he sat on the couch, feet curled up under his legs to keep them warm despite the socks. He'd tuned out his father, who sat at the other end of the couch with his arm around Carole, his wife and Kurt's new step mother. The wedding had happened a few weeks ago, and although it was strange to think about Finn -who was sitting on the floor looking up at Burt as he spoke- as his step brother now, there was something kind of normal, kind of familiar about the scene around him.<p>

But his head wasn't there. Kurt's brain was nowhere, instead thinking about how lovely the break had been. The bruises that had found their way onto his shoulders from being pushed into lockers were starting to fade, and the stress that had come with school and glee club were gone. These days were snow days, spent under the covers or in fabulous coats as he finished his Christmas shopping. Despite not believing in the initial thought of the day, Kurt had always been a fan of Christmas.

His phone vibrated though, pulling him out of his reverie quickly with a jump. Reaching into his tight pants, Kurt raised an eyebrow as he looked down at the number, having only seen it once before on a night he had been trying to block from his memory. But his lip curled into a smile as he thought about the person on the other side of the line, his heart instantly warming up despite the already pleasant glow from fireplace.

"Kurt, are you seriously going to get your phone while I'm telling a story?" Burt asked, raising his eyebrows at him. But although his words seemed somewhat offended, Kurt knew that his father was _much_ too happy to even care all that much. Not to mention that when he looked up, there was a clear smile on his father's face.

Shrugging, he nodded and smiled a bit. "What? I've heard this story before, like, every Christmas. I know how it ends; you end up being the 1 millionth customer at a super market and it saves Christmas because they give you a free Turkey. I was there, Dad."

He walked away, despite the calls of disapproval from Finn who upon having the story spoiled was behaving like a kicked puppy. But Kurt was too busy looking down at his phone to notice, his head moving from content to see the number to somewhat confused. Blaine had no reason to call him, since he knew that Kurt was going to be online whenever he could. He especially had no reason to call him on Christmas Eve, only a few minutes till midnight. His heart thumped, and he took a quick breath as he slipped his feet into the pair of boots by the door and stepped out onto the porch before grabbing his coat.

The air was cold as it met his face, but nothing he wasn't used to. Breathing into his hands, he finally picked up, holding the phone against his ear as he whispered, simply out of habit whenever he spoke to Blaine on a phone, "Hey."

"Hello there," came Blaine's voice, quiet but awake. That was strange for Kurt, who was used to Blaine being sleepy at the hour, seeing as he had made the mistake of Skype calling him when he had noticed him awake at this time. It had turned out that Blaine had gotten up to finish homework, but the Blaine he had found was not adorably sleepy Blaine like the one he had seen fall asleep on camera. That Blaine had been seriously half asleep and in all honesty completely alien to Kurt. "How's Christmas?"

Letting out a breath, Kurt watched as it turned white against the cold air as he sat down on the chair on the porch. "It's wonderful," he answered, pressing his knees against his chest and resting his chin on them. A beat passed between them, as if Blaine could sense Kurt had more to say, and Kurt went on, "It's strange to have a whole family here. It's usually my dad and I…but it's wonderful. Having people here, laughing over stupid old stories."

"Sounds like it," was all Blaine said, and the line went quiet aside from their breathing for a while. Neither one of them mentioned the thought in their head, the only real constant in both of their lives. It was wonderful, sure, Kurt could admit that, but the only thing that could make it better was Blaine. But he didn't dare voice his thought, afraid it was too much, unknowing that thousands of miles away Blaine had had the same thought as he sat in his quiet and empty living room, Christmas lights streaming over his face.

But they've gotten used to wanting the other around. Kurt had gotten used to laughing at something in school and starting to say Blaine's name before catching himself, he'd gotten used to catching himself thinking about him. He didn't know that Blaine had the same problem too. He didn't know because he didn't dare to ask.

Kurt let his eyebrows furrow as he remembered what he had been thinking just before he answered the phone. "Blaine," he asked, voice heavy with both concern and question. "Why did you call?"

His answer was a laugh, and Kurt could only roll his eyes at his friends initial reply. The night around him is silent, but from his perch on the porch, he could see into the houses across the street, Christmas trees waiting for morning. Blaine took a breath, and finally said, "It's Christmas."

"Blaine Anderson, captain obvious," Kurt laughed, smiling as he heard just how ridiculously happy Blaine sounded. It was as if he could hear the smile spread over his face. It was as if he could see the twinkle in his eyes from the sheer…._happiness._

The voice that answered was soft though, and still happy. It hadn't paid any attention to Kurt's retort, and Kurt felt a smile spreading on his face as he figured it out that nothing was going to break Blaine's mood today. "No, Kurt. It's Christmas Eve for you. It's Christmas for me."

"Which means?"

He was genuinely wondering what Blaine had meant, making circles into his jeans as he closed his eyes, trying to picture himself anywhere but so far from Blaine.

Kurt could hear his father inside, and he guessed from the sound of things, they'd opened another wine bottle for Carole and him. Or maybe they had brought over the gingerbread cookies he had made. Part of him wanted to be inside with his new family, but he had ages to spend time with them. He only had so much time to talk to Blaine. He hugged himself closer, sighing heavily and trying to not think the actual heartache he felt.

"It means," Blaine whispered, his voice growing excited again. "It means that I get to open up my presents."

But Kurt doesn't see the reason to be excited. If anything, all he could feel was envy. There was nothing Kurt wanted more right now than to be opening the Alexander Wang trench coat he had bought himself as a gift from his father who had told him to just get whatever he wanted as long as it was within reason. Laughing, his tone deadpan, Kurt frowned, "That's great for you, but what does that mean for me aside from the fact that you want to rub it in my face that you're in the future?"

The laugh came back, and suddenly Kurt forgot the slight feeling of anger and could only laugh along, although he still had no idea what he was talking about. He smiled and breathed out, looking at the stars as his breath disappeared. He loved winter.

"It means I called so I could open your present with you."

He could hear Blaine's smile, and Kurt could only blink. His mouth was wide open, and his heart was thumping wildly in his chest. That thought hadn't even crossed his mind, and in all honesty Kurt had thought that they were going to be opening their presents from each other with their families, seeing as Blaine's had been underneath his Christmas tree for weeks, his father having had rolled his eyes when he had seen Kurt place it there.

"I'll go get—"

"No!" Blaine's voice was urgent, and Kurt, who had gotten up slightly from his seat, frowned as she slowly began to sit back down.

"Blaine?" he asked,his voice small.

He chuckled though, but Kurt could hear him groan before he answered, "Sorry. Sorry. I just…You can't cheat, Kurt. It's Christmas morning for me, but it's still Christmas Eve for you. No cheating allowed."

Kurt could only roll his eyes, settling back down on the chair. "Fine, Blaine. Open the present then."

The line was quiet for a few minutes, and Kurt could hear faintly what sounded like Blaine picking at wrapping paper. In his mind, Blaine was sitting in a dark room by himself, wearing a shirt and long pajama pants with that light cardigan Kurt had seen him wear that afternoon they had spoken about John Hughes movies. His hands, callused from fencing and polo, were trying to find the opening of the wrapping before he gave up, simply tearing through Kurt's lovely wrapping paper. Kurt sighed as he heard the sound of what sounded like whatever he was thinking had been true, but smiled as he pictured Blaine setting down the perfect green plaid paper down by his feet and holding the present in his hand.

"Kurt…"Blaine's voice sounded distant, and Kurt bit his lip in anticipation. He had looked for a gift for weeks before stumbling upon the one he had chosen. His original idea of getting Blaine some Disney stuffed animal, but thinking back on it, it seemed too personal. Too close. Kurt had been, and still was, afraid of the implications.

He swallowed his breath and breathed out, "Do you like it?"

The question lingered in the air, and Kurt sat there, wringing his hands together as he waited. Far from here, Blaine was sitting on a couch, looking down at a CD he probably already owned. His eyes, the color of which Kurt would give _anything_ to know, scanning over the cover in the dim light as they traced over the black letters written across the clear plastic.

"Is it real?" Came the answer, soft and quiet, a whisper that blew across Kurt's ear as if it had been said straight into his ear.

He nodded, but remembered what the situation was. Hugging himself as a breeze came by, Kurt sighed and whispered back, "I hope it is. I fought with some fourteen year old girl for it over Ebay. She really did sign the CD."

Kurt heard Blaine sigh, and as he shut his eyes closed, imagined Blaine pressing the Katy Perry CD close to his chest, trying his very best not to judge his friend for his poor taste in music. She was catchy, but nothing to obsess over. A smile found its way onto Kurt's lips, and the simple 'thank you' both sincere and honest that reached his ear was enough to keep it there.

* * *

><p>Blaine knew his calling time was almost up. He knew that. But it was quiet in his house and his father was back in the States for Christmas, leaving his mother and him here because he had to work on school things and she had had no desire to fly back. Blaine had begged him to go, although his family lived in Connecticut. Anything to be closer. Anything to be able to call whenever he wanted if only for a few days. Anything to not have to live in the future.<p>

He'd pictured himself driving to Ohio with the license he had gotten over the summer when he had visited. He'd pictured himself knocking on Kurt's door for Christmas and smiling because getting to see Kurt was the best Christmas present of all. He knew the boy didn't believe in God or Jesus, and quite frankly neither did Blaine, at least not completely. However, they had both agreed that the idea of the holiday was admirable. They had both agreed that in the end, it was about love, at least at the very root of the concept of 'Christmas'. They could both admire that.

But instead of driving to Ohio, he was sitting miles away, on a couch in his dimly lit living room, the sun beginning to rise behind him. The present Kurt had gotten him was pressed against his chest, and although they had said nothing for a few minutes, Blaine felt as if he were at perfect peace with himself and the rest of the world. There were things he would change, but right then that moment was special.

"Hey Blaine," Kurt said, and Blaine could hear the soft smile across his lips as he spoke. In reflex, Blaine lifted his head and cocked it to the side for a moment, before realizing one of the reasons he felt so comfortable was that he was falling asleep, before finally humming in response, waiting for him to continue.

"It's snowing."

He couldn't help but smile at Kurt's words, closing his eyes and trying to picture him in that instant. Blaine's mind filled with pictures of Kurt on a porch, sitting down on a chair legs pulled against his chest, much in the same way that Blaine was sitting right then. He imagined his blue eyes looking up at the dark sky as it filled with whites dots, slowly falling down until they met what Blaine pictured as a white blanket, although he knew in his head that the ground wasn't nearly that covered yet.

It had been two years since he had seen snow, because although it had been known to snow in Rome, it hadn't in the two years he had been living there. The weather got cold, and especially at this time of the year, Blaine didn't feel like he was across the world from everything he had grown up around. Blaine sighed, suddenly feeling very far away. It felt like he was in a different world from Kurt all together. Like they weren't just across an ocean from each other; there was a clear divide between them, and no matter what they did to attempt to bridge it, the distance became more apparent to him as they grew closer together.

"I wish you could see it," Kurt said, into the quietness.

Blaine chuckled at the thought, before shaking his head. That was a dream, and suddenly the optimist he tried so often to hold up disappeared and he found himself whispering, "It hasn't snowed here in years. I miss it."

He heard Kurt sigh, and suddenly wished he hadn't brought it up. He was reminding them of the distance, reminding them of everything. It didn't seem fair to Blaine that he had finally found a friend that really understood him, and yet he lived a world away from him.

They remained quiet for a while, until Kurt once again broke the silence. "So, am I opening your present in the morning?"

Blaine laughed softly, not wanting to wake his mother, nodding before answering, "Absolutely! I mean, you can do it with your family and just Skype me whenever you have time…I'll be home all day. My mom isn't big on holidays."

He noticed the way Kurt didn't ask about his father, and felt a wave of relief flood over him. Kurt understood without having to have it explained. He didn't push Blaine to tell him everything, and although Blaine wanted to, it wasn't what he did. After years of being taught that men weren't sensitive, Blaine had outwardly tried to protect his sensitivities. Online he could be the Blaine Anderson he wanted to be; the happy boy who was a dork. But around Kurt, he felt like that layer was pealed, and they stood both in front of each other, baring everything and not judging.

"Can I at least know a hint?" Kurt said, pulling Blaine from his musing.

Biting his lip, Blaine groaned before shaking his head. "If I give you a hint you'll know what it is though…Um, its red?"

He could practically imagine the look of shock on Kurt's face as he said it. The look of shock mixed in with annoyance and slight amusement. He'd seen it whenever Blaine shrugged and didn't answer a question. He'd seen it through a blurry, pixelated screen.

"Blaine, that could be _anything_."

All he could do was shrug though, before resting his head against his palm as he exhaled fondly. All of a sudden, all the slight sadness he had felt about the distance disappeared and all he could think about was how Kurt's face would look like as he opened the present Blaine had spent a full day shopping for. He tried to imagine the smile that would break out across Kurt's face as he took the scarf into his hands and let his fingers trail across the soft, silk. He couldn't wear it yet, Blaine knew that, but he figured one day in the summer he would get to finally wear it out.

With a smile, Blaine whispered back, "that's all I'm saying though. You're too…smart for hints. You gave me three and I wasn't even close!"

Did Kurt smile as he remembered giving Blaine those clues about the CD? Did Kurt shake his as the memory of Blaine's completely wrong guesses? All he could hear was the softness in Kurt's voice as he replied, "You're oblivious."

A silence fell over them again, and Blaine once again found his eyelids starting to get heavy as he nodded off to sleep. It was pleasant, the way they could sit there and not speak and just hear the other breathing. The Kurt in his head was resting his head against his knees, hugging himself in the cold of the porch.

There was a lump in his throat, and suddenly Blaine found himself wanting to say something. But his palms her sweaty and his throat was dry. He felt nervous, the kind of nervous he only ever felt right before performing.

"Hey Kurt?" Blaine said, lifting his head up slowly and biting his lip. He heard Kurt's soft reply and closed his eyes, unsure of what he wanted to say. Everything was so complicated, and Blaine didn't want to think about it. Blaine didn't want to think about the fact that they were miles apart, but it was a big deal. He didn't want to make things unnecessarily difficult for both of them. There was a whisper of a feeling inside of him, but Blaine knew better. He could feel the warmth in his chest, but was smart enough not to say anything. It wasn't practical.

He opened his mouth to say something, before hearing a distant, "Kurt?"

Blaine bit down on his lip more, waiting to hear what was going on. The Kurt in his mind moved his head to look at the owner of the voice, a smile creeping onto his face as Blaine heard him tell the person that it was snowing. He heard a door close after a moment, and imaginary Kurt placed his feet on the floor.

"Blaine, I have to go. What were you going to say?"

The words were soft, and he could hear the way Kurt's voice lingered as he held the phone against his ear. His head is a jumble, and Blaine didn't have time to decide what he wanted to say. Taking a quick breath, he smiled faintly and replied, "That's fine. I was just going to wish you a Merry Christmas."

He chuckled, and Blaine smiled at the sound. His head might not make any sense, and he might not want to start to understand what he felt at all, but just hearing Kurt laugh after seeing (in a loose sense of the word) the boy at his lowest is enough to make Blaine understand that if he could just keep that smile on his face, that's all he wanted for Christmas.

"Merry Christmas, Blaine."

The line went quiet, and Blaine hung his head, pressing his phone against his lips as he thought. Out in Rome, a fog settled over the city as the sun began to rise. It didn't snow, but Blaine, as his mind drifted back to sleep on the couch, the hard plastic square pressed against his chest, could only dream of it.

* * *

><p>A blanket came down over his shoulder, and Kurt turned his head to look at Carole as she moved in closer to him. He had no protest though, despite not saying anything, instead leaning in against her as she wrapped the blanket she had brought outside as they looked at the first snow fall of the year together. Finn and Burt had gone inside to grab their coats, but Kurt welcomed the silence.<p>

His phone rested in his hand, as he thought about Blaine. There was a feeling in the bottom of his gut that told him there was something else Blaine wanted to say, but Kurt didn't dare assume. He knew what he felt, but he wasn't sure what to name it.

For a while now he wasn't sure what to name it. The way he would smile thinking about him. The way he read over his letters every once in a while. The way he would wait for him to get online and instantly feel better after an awful day by just looking at Blaine's face. Kurt had had crushes before, he remembered with a roll of his eyes. But there was something different about what he felt towards Blaine.

Sighing, Kurt hung his head for a second, but the movement wasn't lost on his new mother. Carole tightened her hand on his shoulder in a comforting way, before nudging Kurt. "What's wrong, Snowflake?"

The pet name made his lips quirk up, and he knew better than to think Carole meant it with any harm. It's all love, just like the way she called Finn pumpkin and Burt honey. Unlike the kids at school, unlike coach Sue, Carole meant no harm.

"When did you know you loved my father?"

His question was whispered, but Carole heard it. Kurt watched as she looked out at the falling snow, hearing as she began humming to herself. He knew Carole loved his father, but the time she was taking to answer the question left him uneasy about the subject. If someone who was so sure about it didn't know how to answer the question, when was Kurt going to know what he felt.

But she smiled as she finally spoke, "I just knew. I didn't wake up one day and suddenly realize I was in love with him. I just sort of knew that I loved him. Love is…" Kurt raised an eyebrow as she drifted back into thought, but leaned closer, hooked to what she was saying. The smile never fell from her lips, and she even let out a small laugh as she continued, "It's a bit like a blanket. It covers you, and you feel warm in it. You feel it there and you just know it's there. It covers you. I knew I loved your father because he sort of became my blanket. He made me feel warm even when he wasn't around."

Kurt blinked, before looking out at the night. It was past midnight now, and he was starting to get cold despite Carole and the blanket and his coat. He knew he was going to go back inside soon enough. He knew he was going to be fine soon enough. But as she spoke, his thoughts drifted to Blaine, the curly haired boy who was never really _around_.

"Why do you ask?" Carole questioned, and Kurt took his time to answer her.

There was a breeze, and Carole next to him shivered. Kurt hugged himself, instantly feeling the phone in his hand. Blaine had been whispering into his ear not too long ago as he opened his present. He had practically heard Blaine's smile throughout the entire conversation. But the shiver was gone, and a slow warmth filled his body before he answered, barely above a whisper, smiling like he had just found out a secret, "No reason."


	12. Chapter 12

Authors Note: Part 12! What can I say about Part 12….Why don't you read it and come up with your own thoughts about it? I'm just hoping it comes out right.

* * *

><p>"I think I've only seen you in normal clothes five times, Blaine," Kurt said holding the sweater up to his frame before turning to the mirror to see how it looked like on him.<p>

From his bed, Kurt heard Blaine's laugh and rolled his eyes, knowing that he wasn't exaggerating in the very least. Whenever Kurt got home, Blaine had usually changed into his pajamas or was still in his uniform. Kurt had never really gotten to see Blaine in normal clothes except for those few weekends when they'd Skyped immediately after Blaine had returned from somewhere. From what he could tell, the boy only wore polos, cardigans and jeans, and it made him laugh to know that Blaine had seen him in all of his fabulous outfits at least somewhat and yet he had only seen Blaine in a few of his own pieces. The thought crept into his head as he continued to look through his closet for an outfit for tomorrow's shopping date with Mercedes and Rachel, just as he tried to not think about how very marital this seemed. He focused on the clothing.

Still, with his back turned to his screen, Kurt continued, "I'm actually serious. Do you even own any other clothes aside from pajamas and your uniform, Blaine?"

He glanced over his shoulder at his laptop, looking at Blaine and the way his hair curled over his head just slightly. Kurt silently thanked whenever a loose strand fell away from the usual gel to fall over his forehead. He tried to pretend he wasn't picturing Blaine as Superman, because Superman had blue eyes and not the strange green he was now deciding to call them after months of debating.

"Kurt," Blaine said, just as Kurt laid the sweater down on his bed, moving closer the screen as Blaine spoke. "Is this your way of getting me to open my closet so you can scrutinize it and determine if you need to give it a complete makeover or something?"

Kurt laughed though, smiling as he turned away from the screen again to look for jeans to match the sweater. It wasn't fair that someone could know him so well that Kurt didn't actually take any offence to that, let alone actually get him to care about what he wore for reasons aside from that. Kurt wanted to know what Blaine wore because to him, fashion was his everything. Fashion explained who he was. Maybe he'd find out something about Blaine if he saw his normal clothes. Kurt wanted to find out everything, really.

Shaking his head, he looked through his pants before shrugging. "No, I just wanted to see. Although you put a very good idea in my head, Blaine Anderson." Turning around slightly, Kurt made direct eye contact with Blaine through the two computer screens and winked, a devious smirk sprawling onto his lips as he slowly turned his head around.

"I'm not letting you touch my wardrobe, Kurt Hummel." As Kurt continued to look for the right pair of jeans, Blaine's voice reached his ears. It was clear, but there was something strikingly timid about it. As if Blaine was blushing. He wondered how an actual blush would look like on Blaine's cheeks, and licked his lips at the thought of possibly ever being the cause.

"You should!" Kurt sang, laughing and keeping his back turned to the screen, which Blaine was thankful for. Kurt, however, remained oblivious as he had started humming, hands gracefully moving over the hangers. There was no reason for him to feel bad. All the thoughts that crept into his head, the thoughts that made him want to cry at night, the thoughts that made him turn to Blaine; they were gone. And all it took was a few weeks without seeing the football team. He had all the reason in the world to start humming.

"Found them!" Kurt held up a pair of white, and what seemed to be unbelievably tight, jeans with such a large smile on his face that it made Blaine laugh. Rolling his eyes, Kurt set them down on his bed and grabbed his white doc martens and nodded at the outfit. He turned to Blaine though, and smirked as he raised an eyebrow, "And what are you laughing at?"

Sitting down on his bed, making sure to cross over to the side without his impeccable outfit, Kurt set his laptop down on his lap. In front of him, Blaine could only shake his head; the movement stalled a bit by the camera, but soon picked up again. "I was laughing at you, but in a good way," Blaine said, the smile on his lips as he finally looked at Kurt breathtakingly contagious.

Ever since Kurt had come to terms with his feelings, he'd found himself noticing things about Blaine he never had before. The way he laughed, the way he smiled and what they meant. He knew the one that said 'sorry,' he knew the one that said 'you're really funny and I'm genuinely happy right now,' and he knew the one that said, most importantly, 'I'm flirting with you.' And that was the smile he was staring at.

He blushed before shrugging and glanced at his outfit simply because he needed somewhere to keep his eyes on that wasn't Blaine's face. Clearing his throat, Kurt smiled and turned to Blaine finally, before saying, "I wish you could meet Mercedes and Rachel, you'd really like them."

A look of confusion passed through Blaine's face, and he leaned closer as he asked, "But I thought you hated Rachel?"

Kurt could only chuckle, shaking his head lightly. "I used to. I mean, she still annoys me and I still think she's crazy, but we've warmed up to each other. And I guess I just wish you could meet all my friends, even Finn. It would be nice."

"Yeah," Blaine's voice was low, and the smile on his face appeared to be vaguely artificial. His eyes didn't meet Kurt's, and all he could do was sit there and stare at him from across the world and wonder what was going on in his curl covered head. "I really wish I could too."

The comment is silent, and Kurt could only nod, afraid he had said something he shouldn't. There were topics they could touch and there are topics they couldn't. Although both of them had made it clear that they could say anything to each other, the ice beneath their feet was sometimes still too thin.

There was a soft beeping noise, and Kurt watched as Blaine leaned over to his right. There was a phone in his hands, and for a moment Kurt stared in disbelief because he just realized he'd never really seen Blaine on his phone. Ever. Part of him had imagined that Blaine simply didn't have one because it wasn't like they could text each other. Kurt had already looked into the rates and begged his father for international texting; no luck.

But he watched as Blaine read the text, waiting for him to say something back only to find him staring at it.

Laughing, Blaine eyes locked onto Kurt's for the first time tonight before he smiled. "Apparently I'm going out tonight."

Kurt raised an eyebrow before cocking his head. There was a slight smile that crawled onto his lips as he asked, "Oh?"

"Yeah, the fencing team wants to grab some dinner to celebrate our win last week." Blaine didn't look up though; his face glued to his phone as he texted them back. Kurt tried to not feel strange at the pang in his stomach as he saw a real smile spread across Blaine's lips. He tried to tell himself he was happy that Blaine had plans. It seemed like Blaine never really hung out a lot.

Looking up though, Blaine sighed, "Great, I have to get ready now. Kurt, I'm gonna turn off my cam, but we can still talk on Skype. Is that okay?"

He blinked, but Kurt nodded instantly. There was no reason for him to feel weird about this. There was no reason that he should want to say no and tell Blaine he wanted him to stay on cam. There was no good reason for him to explain that all he wanted to do was be around Blaine. Because Blaine had every right to go out with his friends. Kurt was going out with his friends tomorrow, anyway. Maybe it was the fact that they were all boys and that they were all able to be with Blaine in a way Kurt could only dream of, but Kurt threw away his worries and gave Blaine a real, wide smile.

"It's fine."

* * *

><p>He forgot how sometimes he hated crowds. Not people, just crowds. He didn't like the shoulders brushing past his, he didn't like the way people stepped too close to him. Kurt hated the way images of strong hands pushing him against lockers would flash across his mind when he accidentally bumped into someone. He forgot how much he hated North Hills Mall's food court at noon.<p>

Finally sitting down, Kurt groaned and at the two girls sitting across from him. "Remind me why we're eating here and didn't find some nice little restaurant in the mall to go to instead?"

"Because they're all over ten dollars a plate?" Mercedes answered, shrugging as she picked up her pizza and took a bite.

Sighing, Kurt took a bit of his salad with his fork and ate, all the while trying to think about the new outfits he could make with his new boots, which he had found on sale at Macy's. It was strange though, the way that no matter how many times Mercedes and Rachel made him laugh, no matter how many deals he found, the fact that he hadn't spoken to Blaine directly in almost a whole day was eating him up inside. He had woken up to a message on Tumblr telling him he was sorry that he had come home so late and that he hoped Kurt had a good time shopping, adding a little something about not spending too much at the didn't want to feel like he needed Blaine, although he did miss him.

It was just strange. Kurt, who so often prided himself on not clinging to people, was feeling like he was being avoided. Blaine hadn't met his eyes yesterday, and thatone smile, the obviously fake one, chilled him to the bone. But Kurt shook his head, and allotted all of his paranoia to the fact that he knew what the feeling in his stomach was every time Blaine gave him a real smile was. He allotted it to the fact that he was in love.

He sighed again, taking a bite and continuing with his reverie, while across the table, the two girls exchanged a look.

Putting her drink down, Mercedes stared at Kurt. "Okay, that's enough. What is it? You've been sighing to yourself all day, and the last time I've heard someone sigh that much was Rachel when Finn was dating Quinn."

Next to her, Rachel frowned, but nodded as he turned to look at Kurt. Raising her hand as to show she was ignoring Mercedes comment, she added, "I resent that, but I agree. You've been strange. What is it?"

It was Kurt's turn to frown then. How was it that he had walked through the halls of his school trying not to cry for weeks and his best friends had said nothing, but now, that he felt relatively normal and was simply suffering from what he had just self-diagnosed as 'paranoid but smitten teen syndrome,' they noticed something was wrong? Shaking his head, he took a bite of his salad and said, "There's nothing wrong. I'm just tired, that's all."

"Kurt." Rachel cooed, but he held up a finger to hush her as he reached for his phone. Tracking Blaine's Tumblr from his phone was easy, and with one quick tap, the page reloaded, but no new posts showed up. Sighing again, he put his phone back in his bag and blinked to find them both giving him a suspicious look.

"I told you, it's nothing!"

But he could tell they weren't buying it. Dropping his head, he went back to his salad, and the table went back to normal for a few minutes as they continued to eat. It was Mercedes who broke the silence by leaning in and whispering, "Is this about Blaine?"

It was as if the large cafeteria went quiet at the drop of his name. Kurt glanced around, but everyone seemed to be normal. Nothing had changed, although the Blaine he had in his head became a little more real each time he talked about him with someone else. As if the mention of his name made the distance shorter. Chewing on his cheek in annoyance, Kurt shook his head, "No. No it isn't Blaine."

But he could tell Mercedes didn't believe him. Still, she knew him well enough to not continue. It was Rachel who spoke up this time, pointing her crepe-covered fork towards him accusingly."What are you guys, anyway? I mean, you're always talking about him. And you have his post card in your locker and the last time we hung out you were wearing that scarf he gave you…but, what are you two?"

"Yeah, you know I was wondering the same thing…" Mercedes's said. Kurt could hardly hear her over the hazy, confused thoughts that screamed inside his head.

It was a simple question, one that he should have answered quickly. One that he should have said instantly. Best friends. That's what they were. Best friends. It was what Kurt thought of Blaine as, it was what Kurt had always referred to him in his head as. Only since Christmas, since before he had even touched the beautiful scarf Blaine had gotten him as a present, Kurt had been sure of his feelings for Blaine. The feelings that had been so painfully elusive finally showed themselves. And despite the fact that now he blushed harder and worried more about how he looked when he spoke to Blaine, nothing had changed.

He loved Blaine. He loved Blaine more than he had ever loved Finn. He loved Blaine and yet Blaine hadn't spoken to him in almost a day. He loved Blaine and yet he had no idea what he meant to Blaine, had no idea what was going through Blaine's mind when he flirted with him. Things were a little harder to read from a distance.

However, up until that moment in a crowded mall cafeteria, Kurt hadn't worried about what they were. And suddenly it became another thought to add to his growing worries.

* * *

><p>Blaine yawned, and Kurt couldn't help but shake his head affectionately at the screen. Resting his head on his palm, Kurt smiled and said, "You should sleep."<p>

He awaited the little grumble. The little signs of annoyance because he didn't want to go. The way he leaned in and told Kurt to stop telling him what to do, adding a little wink as he back up. Kurt watched the screen as Blaine nodded tiredly and sighed, mumbling, "I will in a few." That wasn't what he was supposed to do. That wasn't what Blaine did.

Clearing his throat, Kurt raised an eyebrow and murmured, although sounding somewhat irritated, "So, I'm guessing you had a lot of fun last night? I was already in bed by the time you got home, which means it was nearly three…"

"Kurt," Blaine said, and Kurt frowned at the slight annoyance in his voice. Or whatever it was, because it certainly wasn't something he had heard before. "You always go to sleep early. I came in late, but you go to sleep early, so it means I didn't come in as late as you think I did." There was a slight raise in one of Blaine's eyebrows, and Kurt tried not to take that personally as a sign of challenge.

Sighing, he nodded, "Well, I was just wondering." Picking up a pencil, Kurt began to sketch a design for an outfit he would never wear as he added, "I was just asking because you asked me how my shopping date with Rachel and Mercedes's went, Blaine. I just want to know if you had fun. Excuse me for wanting to know about your personal life." It came out a lot harsher than it was meant to.

The webcam froze for a second and Kurt frowns as he looked at Blaine's distant and guarded face. Where had the puppy-like teenager he had known gone? Where was the one who was so eager to talk to him? Why had he been replaced with someone who sometimes seemed annoyed with him? Why was it that discovering your feelings for someone made everything more difficult when it should have been the opposite?

"You know about my personal life, Kurt," Blaine said, his voice soft as the camera comes to focus. His eyes looked down, and Kurt noticed the way he played with his headphones, somewhat nervously. "You know everything about me, pretty much. I just…you wouldn't…" His voice trails off, and Kurt bites down on his lips as he feels the Blaine in his mind, the tangible thing, start to dim. He doesn't notice the way something clicks on Blaine's face and how he looks pained and guilty for a moment. "It was fine. I did have a lot of fun."

Kurt tried to fight past the demon in his chest telling him something was wrong. He tried to fight past the buzzing noise in his head that told him that Blaine was being distant and avoiding him. He smiled instead and rolled his eyes without any harsh meaning, "See? Why didn't you just say that? Problem fixed. I'm glad you had fun."

Blaine smiled, and Kurt relaxed. One show of reassurance from Blaine and everything was alright. Kurt wanted to slap himself for turning into a smitten teenager, but when he remembered the boy he liked, he knew it was worth it. He knew that Blaine was different than anyone he had ever met.

Grabbing a pen and starting to outline his sketch, crosshatching for shading, Kurt smiled as he glanced up. "So, I was thinking…"

"Yes?" Blaine said, almost on cue, with a smile on his face.

"We should do what we did last week. Remember? One of us picks a movie we both have or can find online and hit play at the same time after its done loading and watch it together. That was really fun last time. How does tomorrow night sound?"

Kurt straightened, putting the pen down as he finished the sketch. Looking at Blaine, he cocked his head at the way Blaine glanced at the bottom of his screen. He noticed Blaine's phone, visible in the darkness of his room, glowed just as he spoke and the way Blaine bit down on his lip but didn't reach for it. However, his eyes looked up and he answered, his voice hesitant, "I have a date tomorrow, actually."

His heart stopped. Kurt swallowed hard and his eyes went huge, and he blessed the stupid orange coloring that didn't compliment him at all in his webcam for hiding the fact that all the color in his face drained. His voice was hoarse as he croaked out, "Date?"

"Yeah," Blaine said, almost too quickly for Kurt's liking. It went silent, as Kurt stared at Blaine, who wouldn't meet his eyes. "Dean, this guy who does Épée in fencing. Apparently he broke up with his boyfriend a month ago. Anyway, well, he asked me out on a date and I didn't want to seem rude."

"Oh."

Blaine's voice had been quiet, but Kurt's had been loud. Loud and to the point. The one syllable dropped and rippled, hitting both of them. His heart had gone from racing to back to normal, but every beat felt like drum, rattling his chest and exploding until it was difficult to breathe.

"So how about we do it the day after tomorrow, yeah?" Blaine's sounded sad, but Kurt imagined it differently. In his head, Blaine sounded somewhat reassuring, in the way parents did whenever they told their child after promising them something that they would get it tomorrow instead of today. It was condescending, and Kurt told himself it was in his head. His Blaine would never do that. He told himself it was just a date. He tried not to feel like shit.

With a quick nod, Kurt smiled curtly. "Yeah. Yeah. The day after tomorrow is great."

But it didn't stop him from sitting there, hours after Blaine had gone to sleep and thinking about what Blaine had said. It was like a slap to his face. After weeks of writing letters, after a few presents sent, after hours upon hours of Skype conversations and flirting, Blaine was going out on a date? It didn't make sense. His finger went over the cursor as he scrolled through his dashboard, and Kurt shook his head. He was in idiot for thinking so much into this. He wanted reassurance, but if it meant losing Blaine by telling him his feelings, Kurt wouldn't risk it.

Rachel Berry's words hung in his mind. Taunting him, jabbing at him, whispering into his ear as he attempted to fall asleep without images of his Blaine laughing at someone else's jokes popping into his head. What were they? And was the feeling of jealousy in the pit of his stomach even warranted? Or had Kurt fallen in love with the Blaine that seemed so real in his mind and forgotten about the Blaine that was real, the one across an ocean.


	13. Chapter 13

He tightened his arms around his waist, feeling the wind rush against his face as the car moved by them. Blaine was trying not to make this awkward, trying not to lean in too much, trying to remind himself that this wasn't some chick flick like Grease 2 where he was going to press his cheek against his back and hold on close. Aside from the fact that it wasn't even a motorcycle, Blaine had no desire to imagine the boy he was with as a gorgeous hunk from an awful sequel.

It was funny, but the minute he had seen the Vespa, Blaine had thought of Kurt. Not because Vespa's reminded him of Kurt, because there was no reason for them to do that, but because he couldn't help but picture him rolling his eyes and throwing Blaine an incredulous look that read something like, "A Vespa? Are you serious?" He had tried not to laugh as he had picked him up, instead smiling and taking the helmet from his hand before putting it over his head. He'd told himself not to think about Kurt though. This was a date, and the last thing he was supposed to be doing was thinking about another boy.

But Blaine couldn't help it. The entire time they had rode to the concert, he had been trying to keep his voice out of his head. He'd focused on the city wheezing by him, focused on the fact that at night, Rome became the city he had thought it was when he was a child learning about ancient civilizations. Rome glowed and blossomed from a sprawling city into a twinkling dream, and Blaine tried to keep his mind on the city instead of the boy who lived thousands of miles away and the gripping cold that was threatening to bite him underneath his wool blazer.

The concert had proven to be a better distraction than the ride there, seeing as Blaine had been fighting against picturing Kurt's eye rolls at the entire situation. Dean seemed like the typical teenager, and somehow Blaine pictured Kurt either staring at times the way that Blaine hadn't wanted to as they walked from the parking space to the venue, or rolling his eyes at the way he was flirting with Blaine. But Blaine hadn't flirted back, or at least he hadn't wanted to. He'd complimented his clothing, and Blaine had only been able to blush and say it was nothing. Clothing had made him think of Kurt, who had whispered into his ear that he thought he looked great, _that_ compliment making him feel flustered instantly.

He tried to remind himself that it was the Kurt in his head who had been speaking, shaking his head as he noticed they were a few minutes from his house just then. Blaine took a breath and sighed, which had somehow prompted Dean to turn around and yell over the roar of the never ending traffic.

"Did you have fun?" he said, his accented ringing through his English. Blaine had found one thing cute about him, aside from the fact that he actually _was_ very cute, and that was the way that despite the fact that he too, like Blaine, had moved here after living in America, he had an accent. But Dean had come here at a younger age, Blaine reminded himself, before thinking of Kurt scoffing and mumbling something about being a poseur.

Blaine smiled and nodded, leaning forward to speak against his ear, trying not to think too much about the way he smelled, which was overpowering of expensive cologne. "The concert was a blast!"

And it had been. It hadn't been his taste of music, or at least not his immediate choice for a concert, but he hadn't minded. The band was young, and Blaine felt good about going to support young artists, trying not to picture himself up there on the stage where he would have felt a lot more comfortable than down on the floor with sweaty bodies pressed up against him as he danced with his date. Blaine had tried not to think about the way Dean occasionally brushed his hand against his leg or his arm, instead trying to let the music take him. It was easy, it was extremely easy, and soon even the little voice that he called 'Kurt' in his head disappeared as he became another entity. Not Blaine, but a particle floating in the smoky, heavy air of the club being hit by the music until it pounded into his system. It had been simple to lose himself in the music.

Dean turned back, and Blaine was glad for that. The entire night he had tried not to notice him, although he knew it was rude. He had mostly only said yes to the date out of not wanting to seem like a jerk, because Blaine knew he was unable to say no. But it was a problem, the fact that the entire date Blaine had tried his bad to keep his mind away from what was going on. The guilt of the situation hurt him too much, and although he had tried to tell himself as they walked down the avenue to the Vespa at the end of the concert that the guilt was nothing and that he had created it in his head, Blaine couldn't help but hate the entire situation.

He had said yes because he hadn't wanted to be rude, he had told himself, but there were other reasons that he didn't want to tell himself. Like the fact that he had been avoiding Kurt lately. Like the fact that he had said yes partially to prove to himself that the little 'butterflies' he felt in his stomach whenever he saw Kurt smile through the grainy webcam video were nothing. He wasn't ready to face feelings for someone who was literally impossible to be with. Kurt was his friend; he told himself when he had said yes to the date. Dean was a good looking gay boy who went to his school. Dean lived nearby and drove a Vespa and could come over and visit Blaine whenever he wanted to. The distance wouldn't hurt him. The distance wouldn't hurt either one of them.

But as he tightened his grip as they rounded a corner, the guilt came flooding back. Dean felt warm underneath his touch and he could only close his eyes for a moment as tell himself that he hadn't meant to picture the bits of blonde peeking out from under his helmet as Kurt's chocolate hair instead. Blaine shook his head, because he knew he wanted it to be Kurt. He had known that from the moment Dean had taken his hand for a moment as they walked to the Vespa that he wished the taller boy at his side was Kurt. That he had wished the entire night that the person dancing near him had been Kurt, even if the thought of Kurt in a small electronica club made Blaine begin to laugh. But it had been the reason why he had avoided acknowledging Dean too much, out of fear that he would mistakenly call him the wrong name. Blaine hoped it had come off as nerves.

The whole night he had wanted to go back home, open his laptop and spend the entire night talking to Kurt until he fell asleep. Every day without him had been agony and Blaine was at his breaking point. He needed his best friend, but was afraid that that wasn't the right thing to call Kurt anymore.

_This _was the right thing to be doing. Blaine couldn't lead Kurt on. Blaine couldn't let himself fall for someone who lived so far away. Blaine couldn't let Kurt fall for him when he knew how he could be and that he had no idea how to treat someone like a boyfriend in person, let alone online. The thought of the word boyfriend made Blaine's face blush furiously, and he was glad Dean was watching the rode. He told himself that he was doing both of them a favor by trying to make space between them, even though Blaine knew the second his house loomed into sight that his heart was pounding because he could speak to Kurt again now.

The Vespa stopped, and Blaine let go of the boy, let go of the body he had been projecting so much onto the entire night. He pulled the helmet off his head and ran his fingers through his only slightly gelled hair due to the night's activities. His head was a mess, and thanks to his slight realization, his face was still flushed. But if Dean had noticed, he said nothing.

"Thanks for coming with me, Blaine," he said, smiling down at him as he stayed on his Vespa, only taking off the helmet to speak.

Blaine stuffed his hands into his pockets as he stood next to the scooter, looking at him and smiling. "I had a lot of fun, so it was no problem," he said, politely, nodding his head happily, hoping that whatever acting skills he had were helping.

Dean smiled back at him, and Blaine tried not to feel a pang of pain in his chest because he wanted to run away from him despite how beautiful that smile was. Dating was torturous, and Blaine gave himself a mental note not to do it again for a while due to various reasons.

"My ex bought me the tickets a few weeks before he broke up with me and I needed to find someone to go with me," Dean explained, his smile becoming slightly guilty as he laughed.

Filled with immediate relief, Blaine laughed back. He laughed at the situation, he laughed at the fact that he had tried to go on a date to avoid the feelings starting to boil at the pit of his stomach for his best friend; he laughed at the fact that he had just spent a whole evening with a perfectly normal guy wishing he was someone else. Suddenly he didn't feel so pathetic at all.

"Your ex was an idiot for breaking up with you," Blaine said, truthfully with a shrug, and it wasn't meant to be a flirty comment, something that apparently Dean understood from the way he simply nodded. Blaine hadn't been ready for a date, and neither had he. Everything made sense.

They smiled at each other, as if to say they were sorry. The guilt that had been eating Blaine alive disappeared a bit, but he still had Kurt to deal with. Still had the fact that he had been purposely going out of his way to avoid him as much as possible simply of the fact that he was petrified of feeling too much for someone he knew he would only end up breaking the heart of. But of course, Blaine knew that there was no way Kurt even felt the same. It was wishful thinking that he needed to get out of his head. It was too impractical and unfair.

Blaine leaned forward and air kissed both of Dean's cheeks, patting his back once before moving back. "Ciao," he whispered, before moving back and turning around, making his way up the steps and into his house after juggling with his keys. After a few seconds, the Vespa zoomed away and Blaine bit his lip before glancing up at his room from downstairs, knowing that what he really wanted was just a few clicks away and yet farther than he wanted to acknowledge.

"No, Rachel, I can't wear that jacket again. Well, I already wore it once in November, that's why," Kurt explained, rolling his eyes as he continued to look through his closet for an outfit to wear tomorrow for the first day back at school.

He didn't want to go back. Kurt wasn't ready for the daily taunts and the jabs and the pushes. He wasn't ready to deal with any of it right now, and to be completely honest it was harder due to the fact that the one person he had come to hold onto when he needed someone was being distant. Kurt told himself there was a reason for it. He told himself that Blaine didn't mean to be spending so much time away from him, and just sighed as his fingers crawled over a dark velvet blazer.

On the other line, Rachel sighed and answered, "Honey, just wear anything. You know you'll look amazing in whatever you wear, so I don't see why you need to keep stressing out about your outfit tomorrow."

Kurt knew she was telling the truth, but shook his head to himself. Picking up a pair of tight blue jeans, he studied them before putting them back. "I just…need something to distract myself with."

There was a silence, and Kurt took back what he had said. He hadn't wanted to admit that out loud, and ever since he had gotten close to Blaine, talking to anyone else about how he felt seemed weird. Aside from his father, who Kurt would always speak to. But it was the truth. Finding ways to keep his mind off the fact that vacation was ending and soon he would return to the prison called high school was harder than he had thought.

"What's wrong, boo?" She asked her voice calming and Kurt sighed at the way he could hear the actual concern in his voice. He didn't want to dump it on her. He didn't want to dump it on anyone.

Sitting down on his bed, but still looking at his closet, Kurt answered softly, "I have no idea what to do. About anything. And I really don't want to think about going back to school. Usually I have Blaine to talk to but…"

"But he's busy, right?" She interrupted, remembering what Kurt had said not to long ago.

Kurt nodded, before remembering she couldn't see him. Rolling his eyes, he continued, "Yeah. He's busy, and I honestly don't have any reason to be annoyed at that because he's just my friend, but I wish he were around. You guys are there for me, of course, but it's just different with him, you know?"

He got up and opened his scarf drawer, until his fingers across the various fabrics. Rachel's voice came out gently, "It's because you like him and don't know what to do because you have no idea how he feels. Trust me, I've been there. I remember when Finn was being distant with me last year… "

Scoffing, Kurt remembered before his fingers touched silk, and instantly her voice was drowned out by the overwhelming memories of opening the present with Blaine on his webcam watching him. He remembered looking up at Blaine and the smile that had been on his lips. Kurt remembered wishing that he could hug him as he stuttered, trying to say thank you and failing because the scarf was simply amazing. Kurt's own lips pulled into a smile as he pulled the white scarf out, running it through his hands and across his cheek, hoping that the distant smell of some sort of perfume was actually Blaine's.

"And then I said to myself, 'Rachel, you need to man up and walk on up to him and tell him how you feel!' Because, well, _you_ know your brother. He's slow. But thankfully, I'm the brain in our relationship, and to tell you the truth, telling Finn how I really felt was the right thing to do, you know."

He realized she was still talking then, and chuckled. "Rachel, you lost me ages ago. I didn't call for the history of your relationship with my brother, okay? I don't care enough," Kurt said, shrugging as he wrapped the scarf around his neck. It was warm and soft.

"Well, if you _had_ been listening, you would have realized the moral of the story was that you should tell Blaine how you feel!"

Kurt's eyes went wide, and he laughed. _Really_ laughed. That was the stupidest thing he had ever heard. Telling Blaine ruined everything, and he wasn't going to do that. Shaking his head, Kurt picked up a dark blue jacket and said, "Okay, I'm hanging up now. You're not helping and I really do need to concentrate on this outfit."

She protested, but Kurt chimed out a goodbye before hanging up and throwing his phone across the bed. Looking at himself in the mirror, he let his fingers once again glide over the silk before he took a deep, long breath, exhaling just as deeply. Blaine had thought of him when he bought this. Blaine was his best friend who had bought him a beautiful scarf. Blaine was the guy he was in love with, who flirted with him, who complimented him, but who had gone out on a date. Biting his lip, Kurt began to see the appeal of Rachel's advice, if only to release his own mind from the confusion that was Blaine Anderson.

His hair looked nice today. It always looked nice, but Blaine had taken opportunities to look at him whenever he noticed Kurt not looking at his screen. It was pulled up and back, with a few strands purposely falling over his forehead, framing his face well. He hadn't meant to stare, but it was hard sometimes not to. The same thing had happened before, and Blaine had just told himself it was because he was intrigued by his best friend. But now he knew better and the thought still unsettled him. He was attracted to his best friend, and it wasn't just in the admiring way it had been before.

"Blaine?"

The voice startled him, and Blaine looked up instantly. He laughed, before shaking his head and smiled at Kurt, who was giving him a look like he was crazy. "Sorry, I was thinking about something."

He watched as Kurt rolled his eyes, and smiled a bit to himself. It was just the same way he had pictured it during his disaster of a date. Suddenly he felt slightly weird for knowing it so well. However, despite the familiar eye roll, Blaine heard a tone Kurt reserved for when he was annoyed, knowing it from all the times he had complained about the bullies at his school, or one of his teachers. "You should probably sleep; you get like that when you're tired."

Blaine chuckled though, despite the slight curl of distaste crowing in his stomach from Kurt's tone. There was something wrong, and he was too scared too ask. He didn't want to make things worse, and knew that if it had been something about school, Kurt would tell him soon enough. It was better to continue to act oblivious.

He raised his eyebrows and smiled, "You know me well"

Kurt nodded, before he lowered his head to look at his planner sitting on his desk. Blaine watched, his stomach settling a bit as he wondered if it had just been his imagination.

"I'm thinking about pretending to be sick and not going to school tomorrow," Kurt confessed, keeping his head down as he spoke, penciling in something into his planner than Blaine obviously couldn't see.

Blaine frowned slightly, before sighing and asking, "Why would you do that? Did something happen? I'll be around so we could talk more if you did that tomorrow, after fencing of course. So that'd be a good thing, but why?"

But by the time Blaine had finished his sentence; Kurt had already raised an eyebrow and mumbled, "Fencing. Of course you can't miss fencing."

Frowning a bit, Blaine cocked his head to the side. "Pardon?"

The look of Kurt's face threw him off. He just shook his head, still clearly annoyed, but sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Nothing, forget I said anything. I'm annoyed from school, okay Blaine? Let it go."

It hurt, but Blaine was past caring about himself right now. Inside of him, the very same switch that always turned itself on whenever he had the feeling something was wrong with Kurt, which Blaine was always shocked that he could feel, turned on. The last thing he wanted to see was Kurt angry, especially after the past couple days that they hadn't spoken.

Blaine's voice was a whisper, hardly audible as he looked down to speak, "Kurt, don't shut me out…"

"Oh!" Kurt interrupted, laughing. Blaine blinked, looking up to find Kurt actually laughing, but instead of the bells he usually heard, the sound was close to maniacal and somehow sounded bitter. "That's funny. Weren't you the one who was slightly ignoring me the other week? I'm not shutting you out, Blaine. I'm irritated."

He cringed instantly, his lips pulling into a line as he bit down on his lip. Blaine had tried to avoid this. Shaking his head, he looked up at Kurt, meeting those blue eyes, before starting, "It wasn't like that…"

Once again he was interrupted, this time by a scoff. If Blaine had been there, he would have walked away. The last thing he wanted to hear from Kurt was that. It reminded him too much of his father. He prepared himself for the lashing.

"Blaine," Kurt said, his voice harsh and yet eerily calm. "I had a bad day. And I wanted to come home and relax and talk to you. I was really happy to see that you weren't busy. You were doing a really good job of not bringing up your little date, but you just successfully ruined it, and my mood."

"_I_ ruined your mood?" Blaine asked, thrown back. He shook his head and sighed, "Kurt, I didn't even bring up my stupid date."

"You brought up fencing! The boy was from fencing. I remember everything you say, Blaine, I think I remember that. I know you have fencing on Tuesdays, okay? I know your schedule!"

Even though the words had to travel through headphones to hit Blaine's hear, they stung. They hurt the same way his father's words did, biting into his skin and tearing it as they traveled down from his ear and into his heart. He felt his chest tighten, and suddenly it felt like he had a cage around his hear, and Kurt was tightening it. But the worst part was that Blaine knew he deserved it, at least for some reason.

Looking down, Blaine frowned to himself, his brow furrowing before he nearly hissed out, "Why are you so angry?"

It took a few moments for Kurt to answer, and Blaine was happy for the time. He breathed in, trying to calm himself, watching as Kurt apparently did the same. Blaine just wanted to know what he was thinking. Blaine just needed to know what was wrong so that he could fix it. He couldn't have someone who he cared so much about hate him. He couldn't screw this up.

Kurt bit down on his lip, and Blaine tried not to stare, tried to remember that right now he was actually quite scared of hid. And when he looked up at Blaine, their eyes met and Blaine felt a current run through his entire body.

"I just—Blaine. Blaine. Have I made this up in my head? I thought maybe we were _something_, like those people we follow who call themselves boyfriends. I thought maybe the flirting and the presents and the late conversations meant we were something. I thought you liked _me_, but then you went out with this guy you hardly even know. I just need to know if I was making it up before I go insane worrying that you're avoiding me because you hate me or something."

The clock on Blaine's bedside table ticked. Outside he could hear the cars and motorcycles go by. His dad's snoring was faint, but in the silence of the night, Blaine could hear it all. His world had suddenly gone quiet, and Blaine waited for more. But he knew Kurt was done, he knew it was his turn to answer, and in all honesty, Blaine didn't have the answer. His heart was pounding, blood rushing into his ears as he looked away, unable to meet Kurt's eyes. What would he see there, in those blue eyes; anger, sadness, annoyance, desperation? He didn't want to look up and meet a look he had never seen in his eyes before. Blaine was lost, and he gave the world a few minutes to settle down before realizing that it was waiting for his answer. _He_ was waiting for his own answer.

"Kurt," he said, softly, his voice cracking. Blaine coughed, clearing his throat, before he looked up at him, meeting his eyes finally only to see Kurt looking at him expectantly, waiting as well. "I can't hate you. I never, _ever_ want to hate you. And that wasn't why I've been so busy. I was being stupid, and I'm done with that."

On the other side of the screen, Kurt nodded, but didn't say anything, which Blaine was thankful for. His pulse palpitated across his body, pounding out the seconds it took Blaine to find the words to keep going. Find the courage to keep going.

With a heavy sigh, Blaine continued, trying to keep his voice steady. "I _really _like you, Kurt. You're my best friend. But—long distance isn't something I can do. I don't want to screw this up, Kurt. And I _know_ that if we tried to do this as more than best friends, I'd end up ruining this. And I don't want you to hate me. I don't want to hurt you. I've never been anyone's boyfriend; I don't know how to be someone's boyfriend. You mean too much to me to lose you, especially since I only _just_ found you."

It was Blaine's turn to wait, and he did. His heart had calmed down, but he expected Kurt to sign off. He expected him to tell him this was over. Blaine expected to be broken up with even though Kurt wasn't even his boyfriend. He could only hope Kurt understood what he meant. Being with Dean and holding on to him, holding his hand, had made him think about how much he wanted _Kurt_ to be able to do that with someone. Blaine didn't want to be the guy to hold him back. Blaine _knew_ that there was to be someone for Kurt back home. He wished it was him, but Blaine knew where he was. He knew that simple things like holding Kurt's hand was something he couldn't do, and he wasn't going to rob Kurt of that chance.

Kurt nodded though, before a heartbreakingly beautiful, but small smile spread across his lips. Blaine watched as his eyes lowered as he spoke, "I get that. I wish I didn't, but I understand. I'm sorry I yelled at you. My day really was just crappy. But thank you, for clearing that up for me." Kurt looked up, and their eyes met. We'll just be like Monica and Chandler then. Best friends. "

His pulse evened out, and his world went back to normal. The tension that had been in the air when Blaine had called Kurt had died, and suddenly the moon shining outside his window seemed brighter. Even if a part of him ached, even if he knew he had hurt Kurt, being honest with him had been the right thing to do. He liked Kurt way too much to continue to lie to him or avoid him. Best friends; he could do best friends.

Blaine chuckled, before he raising his eyebrows, resting his head against his palm as he asked, "Don't they end up together at the end?"

The only reply he got was a smirk paired off with Kurt's signature eye roll, and just as he could feel a silly and enamored smile spread upon his own lips, Blaine knew that everything would be alright with them.


	14. Chapter 14

Authors Note:

Oh boy….are you ready for this? It's _long_. Right, so I want to let you guys know a few things about this part.

First off, **_Warning: it contains strong homophobic language and mild violence._**

Second though, I really hope no one who reads my fic fences, because…oh man, I just hope I didn't murder the sport, because I did do my research as much as possible for this scene.

* * *

><p>The school was empty, and although Kurt usually tried to avoid using the boys bathrooms while school was still in session, he figured that since the football players were in practice, he was safe. It was nice that he didn't have to fear his own school every once in a while, and for a moment Kurt allowed himself to believe he didn't live in a place like Lima, although the place of his imagination had a much better bathroom than McKinley.<p>

He hummed as he washed his hands, lifting his face up to the mirror and shaking his head. The artificial light never did anything for his complexion, making him look paler than usual. But there was nothing to do about it, although he did make a mental note about trying Benefit's new tinted moisturizer that they had given him a free sample of. He was pale and he liked being that way, but there was still something to be done about the ghostly appearance he had in the mirror under this lighting. Sighing, Kurt turned off the faucet, shaking his hands before moving over to the paper towel dispenser as the door to the bathroom opened. He thought nothing of it, and instead hitched his bag higher onto his shoulder.

"The ladies room is right next door, Hummel." The voice was low and booming, and Kurt knew it all too well. Azimio, football team member and frequent tormentor.

His blood ran cold and he closed his eyes, but aside from that, Kurt stood up taller. He straightened himself out, dried his hands, and slowly turned to face him without saying a word. It wasn't until Kurt saw Azimio making his way towards him that Kurt rolled his eyes and crossed his hands over his chest, "You need to think of better insults, you used that one last week."

It didn't faze him though, as he kept stepping closer. Kurt hadn't wanted to, but he took a step back out of instinct. He didn't want to be a coward, he wanted to be brave and show them that nothing he did was going to scare him. Kurt had been tossed in dumpsters; Kurt had been shoved into lockers. He could handle a little shake up. But his heart nearly stopped as he saw the door to the bathroom open, immediately hoping it was someone who would scare Azimio away, only to see two bigger guys wearing matching football uniforms stride in.

"You didn't told us you'd caught the _fag_, Azimio," one of them said, his buzz cut making him look larger than he already was, and not in a becoming way. He had long since accepted buzz cuts as a hairstyle on certain men, trying not to smirk as he remembered seeing Puck come in with his Mohawk shaved last year. But it did nothing for them. Each one of them seemed like a replica of the other to Kurt's eyes. All the individuality he prided himself with was gone in these boys.

Kurt's heart nearly clenched at the word, but he closed his eyes and spat out as he opened them, "I'm not some toy you guys can play with. Move so I can get out." His voice was low and harsh, but it didn't get to them. Azimio stepped closer, causing Kurt to step back and hit the wall. He was trapped, and the choir room was too far for anyone to hear him scream if he wanted to. But Kurt knew he couldn't do that. This was his fight.

He shook his head as a scowl crossed his face as he answered, "This is our bathroom, fairy. You need to get it through your head that I don't want you staring at my junk when I go to piss, okay?" The boys behind him laughed, but Kurt watched as they nodded their heads like robots. He knew they had no brains, he knew that they just did as they were told, but watching them as they literally just stood there was he was being bullied made Kurt wonder if they could even think at all. Sometimes he hoped there was hope for the idiots of his school.

He told himself to stop hoping.

"Right. Because I'm dying to see that," Kurt said, putting his bag down on the floor and moving it to the side. Whatever they wanted to do to him, they could. His bag, however, was designer and he wasn't going to let them ruin it. Brushing off the lapels of his dark leopard print blazer, (he tried not to think of Blaine in his own school blazer as he did, although his face was comforting.) Kurt raised an eyebrow and continued, "Don't flatter yourself; my taste in men is much more refined than you."

Something came flying toward him, and Kurt's first instinct was to close his eyes. He didn't turn away, he didn't try to move forward, and he simply closed his eyes and waited. Waited for the blow that he expected to make contact with his face. He begged for it not to be his nose, because despite what he knew most people considered to be a strange nose, he rather liked his. His features would be out of balance with a broken nose. A blow to his jaw would be better. It wasn't the pain he couldn't handle, it was never the pain.

Instead, there was a loud thump to his right, and as he opened his eyes he found himself face to face with Azimio who towered over him, his fist against the tile of the bathroom. He stood there, petrified in fear although shocked and relieved that he was still conscious. They had done worse to him than this before, but he had never been this isolated. "Don't try to be funny with me, fairy!" he practically yelled, his eyes staring into Kurt's. "I'm sick of your attitude! You think you're so much better than all of us, like you're so freakin' smart or something. There's nothing smart about choosing to want something up your butt and being a _freak._"

There was a rage in his eyes Kurt hadn't seen before, and as the other two stepped closer, he knew he had to think quickly. His heart was pounding, and Kurt tried his best to think logically. There were three of them and only one of him. They were three times the size of him, and he was corned in a bathroom, the only exit lying way beyond his reach. But he couldn't let something happen. He couldn't let himself get hurt again; he couldn't let a bunch of Neanderthals scare him to the point where he didn't even want to fight back. Kurt would _always _fight back.

But he noticed the way the boys behind Azimio were both at his left. There was nothing between the stalls and the door, and Kurt knew that he could make a run for it if he ducked underneath Azimio's arm and ran for it. It was stupid, and the second the plan even struck him, Kurt knew he shouldn't do it. He knew that even trying it would put him in danger. But he was desperate.

Looking at Azimio again, Kurt clenched his jaw before their eyes met. He only had one shot to make this work, and if he didn't reach the exit he was screwed. Stepping off the wall and closer to Azimio, happy to see the look of confidence in his eyes dropped to a slight fear as Kurt got closer to him, Kurt hissed back, "Get used to me, because I'm not going anywhere."

His words were more confident than he felt, but it was easy to feel brave when terrified. However, Kurt's mind wasn't thinking about being brave. It was focused on his one shot of escape, and it leaped for it as he saw Azimio's hand lift up into the air and give him space to run for it.

Kurt's legs moved as quickly as they could, and he had the latch of bathroom door in his hands before he felt a tug on his sweater. His eyes grew wide as he was thrown back into the bathroom, his side meeting the door of the closed stall with a loud thump before his knees gaze out from under him and he slid down onto the tile. Over him, Azimio and the toy boys closed in, and Kurt shut his eyes.

He shut his eyes and tried to picture happier thoughts. He tried to picture sales in his favorite stores, he tried to think of Christmas with his family, of family dinner and sleep overs with Mercedes and Rachel. He tried to think of the way his mother would hold him whenever he cried, to think about the way she would smile and tell him it was going to be alright. And slowly, her beautiful rose red lips stained with lipstick turned into Blaine's slightly tinted lips pulling into the same warm, beautiful smile. Kurt told himself not to cry until they were gone, but suddenly he felt a lump in his throat as he saw Azimio's fist rise.

"Azimio!" came the loud call, the door opening behind them. Kurt kept his eyes closed for a moment, before opening them to see Karofsky standing in the entrance.

Their eyes never met, and Kurt was glad for that. He wasn't ready to deal with them _and_ Dave. He could deal with them in separate times, but right now wasn't the moment. He felt weaker than he had ever felt before.

He watched as the larger boys turned around to meet their leader, and didn't fail to notice the way Dave clenched his fist at his side as he eyes shot towards Kurt. However, their eyes met for a second, and if there was supposed to be anything in the glance, Kurt missed it. He sat there, looking up at his tormentors, waiting to find out what would happen to him.

Karofsky unclenched his first though, and Kurt felt his heart suddenly slow down a bit. Stuffing his hands in his Letterman jacket, Karofsky slumped as he looked at his best friend. "Bieste is looking for us. She sent me to look for you. We have practice in like, ten minutes. Let's go and we'll deal with Hummel tomorrow _during_ school, 'kay?"

From the floor, Kurt's eyes went huge as he watched all three of the jocks who had been there before turn to him and frown, and then shrug. It was as if everything was forgotten. Suddenly, Kurt realized that this was all just a game for them. As long as they got the promise that they could come back and do it again, they were all right with stopping whatever it was that they were doing. He was nothing to them but a game, and Kurt's life was literally just another dot. Suddenly, he wasn't sure if he was happy he had been saved or angry.

Azimio was the first to walk out, his henchmen following behind him. But Karofsky stayed there for a moment longer, his eyes meeting Kurt's for a second longer than they were supposed to. At first, Kurt was half convinced he was going to get one last hit in before he left, but Karofsky's hands stayed in his pockets. He simply stood there, his face blank; his stance slightly slumped out of bad posture, and did nothing. Their eyes stayed on each other until Kurt looked away, and a beat later, the door of the bathroom slammed shut as Karofsky left.

It took him a moment to get up. Kurt's legs trembled as he stood up and walked over to where he had put his bag. Slinking it over his shoulder, he nearly winced at the pain at his side. He sighed, before turning to the mirror to inspect the damage. His face was fine, and Kurt was glad for that. Still, as his hands lifted his white sweater and the shirt he wore underneath it, he saw the raw hurt flesh, soon to turn purple with bruising, a slight cut appearing out of the redness from where he must have scraped against the stall handle.

He dropped the shirt, and with all his might told himself not to cry. Kurt pulled his bag higher up on his shoulder and walked out. The halls were empty as his boots hit the floor, but his stance was low and he turned at every noise. He'd send Rachel a text saying he'd be missing Glee today. He'd wait until he was in his car to break down into tears. Right now he needed to feel safe again.

* * *

><p>"What're you doing here?" Blaine asked, as he grabbed the purple water bottle and took a long drink out of it.<p>

It was strange seeing his father in his expensive designer suits in the wooden walled fencing room of Dalton. He wasn't used to seeing his father at his school at all, seeing as most of the tournaments for fencing ended up being held at other schools. It was Italy, and if there was one thing Italy had enough of it was fencing arenas.

But if his father noticed how uncomfortable Blaine felt standing in his white fencing uniform as is father advanced towards him, he made no notice. He smiled at him, and the smile that Blaine was sure meant nothing at all made his skin crawl. He didn't feel right, and suddenly Blaine was a child all over again, watching football with his father on the couch and forcing himself to understand the rules. He stood up straighter, waiting for him to speak.

"I was on my way home early, and I figured I'd come pick you up since it's a Tuesday and you have practice," he answered, in English despite the fact that Blaine had asked in Italian. It was a habit, since although the school was international and American based, Blaine's friends were mostly Italian. Switching to Italian, his father nudged his head towards the boy who was gathering his things in the bench next to Blaine, "That was a good attack,"

His lips tightened, and Blaine nodded as his lips drew into a line. "Thank you," he mumbled, looking down at his mask in his hand and putting it down on the bench. Coughing, he glanced at his father, at the way he stood there confidently, his hands in his pockets but not in the defensive way Blaine so often did it. He would never be like his father. "I'll go change and get ready to go then," he added, picking up his bag and starting to head towards the changing room.

"Wait, Blaine." His voice is powerful, and Blaine doesn't stop himself from letting it control him. He never had been able to. There was a sliver of hope that somehow his father had come in order to actually spend time with him, but Blaine knew better. After three years of wishing for that, he had stopped hoping.

Closing his eyes, Blaine sighed to himself and turned around, looking his father straight in the eyes. "Yes?"

The older man smirked, before stepping forward. Blaine stayed paralyzed where he stood, and watched as his father walked over to the racks where his couch left spare weapons for beginners. He bit his cheek as he saw his father's large fingers wrap themselves around the hilt of a Foil, pulling it out and holding it out in inside up position.

Blaine watched as his eyes scanned the sword, running down its length slowly. He watched at the smile that grew on his father's lips tightened, before their eyes met once again. In an almost excited voice, the dark haired man suggested, "Fight me. We'll play Foil, since that's what I used to fight. Best three out of four?"

His eyes went wide as he stared at his father, and he shook his head instantly. "You're not wearing a proper jacket. And besides, Dad, I fight Sabre, not Foil."

Every part of Blaine's body wanted to say yes. Getting to win against his father in something would make him happy, but he wasn't going to fight something that wasn't fair. This was a way of winning that would finally actually capture his father's attention, and Blaine had been craving for something along those lines ever since he had started singing and playing sports in the first place. But this wasn't the way he wanted to do it.

But it was too late. He wore the same smirk on his face as he took off his jacket, un cuffing his sleeves and beginning to roll them up. Blaine stepped for to protest, before his father's glare practically paralyzed him as he said, "Get me a jacket, then. Are you afraid I'll win?"

Blaine's jaw went tight, and he turned around instantly, his boots clanging against the wooden floor as he strode off quickly to the changing room. It wasn't a fair fight, but Blaine's body was shaking from anger. He wasn't going to lose in front of his father. The last thing he wanted to be was a failure, and failing in front of him wasn't something he was going to do. So as quickly as he could, Blaine asked one of his team mates for his jacket, promising he'd give it back. He took it, thanking that his father and him had a similar build, before walking back into the practice room to find his father practicing lunges.

He closed his eyes, before clearing his throat. His father looked up, and his face stayed emotionless as he grabbed the jacket. Blaine slowly made his way over to the rack, picking up a Foil and putting down his Sabre. The light weapon felt strange in his hand. It was shorter, built for agility and movement, while Sabre was meant for short distance and cutting. He was out of his element, and he knew it as he gripped the sword harder.

Turning around, Blaine saw that his father was ready and on one of the playing strips. Slowly, Blaine made his way there, trying not to see his father a few years younger, trying not to picture him as everyone else said he had looked like when he was young: like Blaine.

"Ready," his father said, smirking as they saluted each other, the swords coming down in a side ways slash.

At once, both of them got into stance. Right foot pointing to the right with their left feet perpendicular to it, making a perfect L as they bent their knees. Their arms with the sword where bent at an angle, pointed out but inside up as their other arm came up in a slight curve. The smirk on his father's face fell, and soon his face was just as serious as Blaine's. He looked at his father, standing there looking exactly like him, doing exactly what he was doing, and told himself that maybe his father was actually trying to bond with him out of want to spend time with his son, not because he wanted him to be a man.

But as he lied to himself, his father cried out, "En garde!" And they fought for the right of way.

Blaine positioned himself, instantly noticing that his father had opened his upper left chest as he advanced forward. He shifted his stance from inside up to outside, moving his left leg forward as he moved ahead in order to align his shot and lunge. Foil was about piercing, unlike his Sabre where he was used to cutting.

But he noticed Blaine's plan, and went for the attack directly. Blaine reacted, remembering his foil parry techniques and moving his sword into a parry four, blocking his father's blade and moving it to the side. The first clash of the swords filled the empty practice room, metal meeting metal sharply as Blaine moved back to protect himself and attempting to make a cross over his father's sword to gain right of way and attack.

Blaine noticed what he had done wrong the second their eyes met. They didn't wear helmets, despite the fact that they should have, and by the evil look in his father's eyes, Blaine knew he should have attacked the second he blocked instead of moving back. Because in an instant, he was thrown back by his father's lunge as it touched his chest roughly.

"Where do you go on Wednesdays, Blaine?" he father asked, just as he backed his sword up, moving back to 'En garde' position as he turned around to glare at Blaine, his gaze clearly angry.

His eyes went wide, but Blaine didn't answer right away. He called out, "En Garde," focusing himself on the fight in front of him before he even thought about answering the question. He tried to remember what he had learned when he started fencing. He tried to remember everything he knew about Foil.

Blaine coupéd over his father's sword, instantly gaining right of way as he practically snarled asking, "Why does it matter where I am on Wednesdays?"

He lunged for 4, aiming for his father's right chest, knowing his father would parry 4 in order to block his hit. Blaine smirked to himself, but the real smirk played out on his father's lips just as their blades came together in the parry. "You won't get any better at fencing if you don't actually go to practice, Blaine. Wednesdays are fencing practice, and I've heard you only go on Tuesdays. You expect to get better with one day a week?"

Everything was going according to plan. Blaine disengaged soon after his father's parry, moving his blade underneath his father's sword. With one simple, clean movement, Blaine lunged forward and attacked, hitting his left chest.

"I fence for fun," he said, a happy smile on his lips as he moved away back onto 'En garde' line.

Their eyes meet, and Blaine can't help but remember the summer before they left for Italy when they had restored the '59 Chevy. He remembers it clearly, the way he had tricked himself into feeling like they were getting closer. The way he knew his father had also done the same thing. They had both tried to make themselves believe that somehow doing things together brought them closer, and yet after the car was finished; Blaine and his father had stopped doing that.

Blaine's father called out for them to start, and he was caught off guard as his father took right of way, cutting over his sword and pointing his straight as Blaine backs up, only to let him advance. "Where are you on Wednesdays, Blaine?

Biting his inner cheek, Blaine takes a breath before he moved forward, his sword reaching out as he moved it in a circular parry to block his fathers, before attacking at his 6 again, once more aiming for his father's left chest. Foil was simple, he told himself. Just because he fenced Sabre didn't mean he couldn't win. He left his father's question unanswered as they stepped back onto the 'En garde' line.

It was his turn to call out for them to start, and instantly his father once again took right of way, stepping forward to attack. "I have the right to be concerned, Blaine," his father said, looking at him. Blaine tried not to think about how ridiculous it was to think of his father being concerned was. He went on, as Blaine attempted to move back a bit to open himself up for a parry, "You spend all your time all your time in your room, Blaine. And I know you're not studying. What do you expect to do with yourself when you grow up? What about all the fencing scholarships in a year, Blaine?"

He wanted to tell his father he didn't want to fence professionally. He knew he wasn't good enough, he knew his heart wasn't in the sport. Blaine had only picked up the sport to make his father happy, but kept up with it because over him he had liked the way holding a sword made him feel braver than anyone else.

Cutting over his father as he stepped forward, Blaine went with the truth, "I've been going to Warbler practice."

Blaine watched as his father's face contorted into rage, and he tried to open up for an attack as he moved to take his lower right chest by dipping his sword only to be cut by his father from below, bringing his sword out of range and taking the right of way again.

"Singing was the reason you got attacked in the first place, Blaine…"

"No!" Blaine called out in anger. He moved his sword in, cutting up and circling around his father's blade, reaching out and taking it back from his father. "That has nothing to do with the reason why I was attacked and you know it. They attacked me because of who I was, not because I was in the choir."

He spoke as he parried, stepping forward as his father stepped back. His movements were awkward now, and Blaine told himself to hold it together. His blade was positioned to hit fourth, and as soon as he attempted to disengage and cross over to hit six instead. But his father saw the move, block Blaine again.

"You're not going to be able to protect yourself with singing, Blaine. You'll never make it as a singer. No one ever makes it as a singer. You need to stop singing in that silly group."

Blaine tried again at taking the right of way, before he was once again blocked. His father wasn't done talking. "You need to focus on school and fencing, so that if fencing doesn't work, you can take over the business. You need to stop singing and talking to that boy at night. I know you think I don't hear you, but I do. I don't like it!"

At his outrage, he saw the opening his father had left open as he advanced. Blaine tried his best to avoid the comment about Kurt, although his heart fluttered at the very thought of him, as he blocked his father's weapon and once again took right of way. "You know _nothing_ about me, Dad. You don't care enough. I don't want the business, or fencing. Nor do you know anything about Kurt. Leave him out of this!"

His rage clouded his vision, and Blaine lost his thoughts. Suddenly, as his father backed up from his advances, the sword in his hand grew heavier. It felt like a Sabre, his native weapon, and Blaine knew what he had to do. One quick cut to the arm, and he was done. Blaine would have won.

"And there's nothing wrong with me talking to a guy…"

He had a second to get himself ready. Blaine got back into lunging position, before he shifted his weight onto his left leg and flew forward. It was a clean shot, and the edge of his sword flew forward and hit his father in the arm as soon as he uttered the last word of his speech.

"…that I like!"

It was too late by the time Blaine realized his mistake. His father had parried his sword around his, taking Blaine's false sense of victory to throw him off guard. He lunged forward, with all the strength and agility that came with someone who had fought with a Foil for years.

"You're so stupid, Blaine." His father took the hit, piercing Blaine dead center on his chest, the blow strong enough to cause Blaine to lose his footing and fall over.

He'd played Sabre, instead of Foil. Blaine sat there on the ground and stared the weapon in his hand, wondering how it had felt so momentously different. He takes in his father's words, letting them sink in as he blinked, waiting for his heart to stop pounding and his head to stop rattling.

Blaine looked up at his father's kick to his calf, eyes falling to look at the extended hand. It took him a while to decide if he wanted to take it, before Blaine sighed and grabbed his father's hand to help him up. He was a failure again, and now he had dragged Kurt with him. Every time he thought he had won against his father, Blaine knew it had been nothing but a loss.

"Useless," his father mumbled, as their hands let go of each other and he walked away to take off the borrowed fencing jacket and change into his clothes again. Blaine stood with his hands on his hips, panting heavily as he tried to figure out why he had even tried.

* * *

><p>Kurt lifted up his shirt again, looking at the bruise that was now a few hours old. It was dark and purple, and he experimentally touched it before cringing in pain. He wondered when it would go away, but knew he was going to be uncomfortable wearing anything that tightened too much around his chest for a while. It was ugly, and Kurt was just happy that he could hide it easily. It too, would fade, just like he hoped the memory of the incident would.<p>

But as he lowered his shirt, Kurt heard a soft singing travel through the speakers of his laptop. For a moment, as soon as he heard him singing, Kurt forgot about the bullying. He closed his eyes and imagined that the second he walked into his bedroom, Blaine would be lying on his bed casually, flipping through a magazine and singing to himself. It comforted him for a second, before he remembered it wasn't like that. Still, he tried to remind himself he was happy just to be able to hear Blaine. He made a shitty day better.

"What're you singing?" Kurt asked, as he walked back into his room, and climbed onto his bed. He tried not to cringe at the slight twinge he felt as he hoisted the laptop up and put it on his lap, and was glad it seemed Blaine hadn't caught it.

With a smile, Blaine replied as their eyes met through the screen, "Out there, from The Hunch Back of Notre Dame. Most underrated Disney score by far."

Kurt could only chuckle, before he nodded in agreement. He said nothing though, as he changed the window and went on to his tumblr for a moment. Kurt smiled as he saw a picture of Tom Felton that Blaine had tagged with 'You're the only blonde I have a thing for.' He liked it, before he flipped back to look at Blaine's face on his screen. There was a distant look in his eyes, but Kurt knew it wasn't towards him. The look in his eyes looked a lot like what Kurt felt right now; lonely.

"I'm glad we could talk today," Kurt said softly, grabbing one of his pillows and hugging it so that he could rest his chin on it as he spoke. "I had a really crappy day and talking to you really helps. Even if you can't really do anything."

Blaine returned the smirk that spread onto Kurt's lips as he finished talking. The distant glimmer met Kurt's eyes and he knew that something had happened to Blaine too. He had made up his mind that he wasn't going to tell anyone about the incident with the bathroom, but he wanted to ask Blaine what had happened. It wasn't fair that both of them had to hurt.

He nodded though, before he leaned back against his pillows and sighed, "Well, by talking I'm doing something, right? I'm glad we could talk too though. Especially since you came home early today."

Kurt scoffed at that, although he knew it would make no sense to Blaine as to why he had. Blaine had no idea he had skipped Glee practice just so that he could speak to him. He didn't dream of telling him that, although he knew that Blaine knew that he wanted him around, Kurt wasn't going to tell him that the first person who had popped into his head after he had been thrown was Blaine. He wasn't ready to tell Blaine about the scale of his bullying. He wasn't even ready to tell his own father.

"What can I say, I missed you," Kurt said, rolling his eyes, sticking his tongue out playfully to Blaine, who laughed. It wasn't the same loud, happy laugh Kurt usually always got from Blaine, but right now he could tell they were both at a point where asking what was wrong wasn't what they needed. They just needed each other, and Kurt could accept that.

Picking his laptop up, he put it down on this side, before he fluffed his pillows up and moved to his side. Lying down, he tucked his hand under one of his pillows before he looked at Blaine, who was staring at him. He just blinked, and offered him a soft smile, which Blaine returned.

His voice was a whisper as it traveled into Kurt's ear, "You're going to fall asleep like that."

Kurt tried to keep himself from sighing too loudly as he heard him. Sometimes he forgot that someone could be so right in every way. But he shook his head sleepily and smiled as he leaned in closer to the computer, "So what if I do? Scream into my ear or something if I do. I just want to lay down, it's been a long day."

"It has," Blaine agreed, and Kurt nodded as his eyes closed.

He didn't want to fall asleep, but he was exhausted. His side hurt, and as he closed his eyes he could feel the way the bruise stung. It had grown since he had first seen it at school, but he knew it would leave eventually. Kurt's heart hurt, and although he was speaking to the guy he loved, this was something that not even Blaine could help. Because although he was there for him, Blaine wasn't _here_. He was beginning to understand why Blaine had turned him down in the first place.

But when he opened his eyes, Kurt found himself looking at a very different picture of Blaine. He was mirroring him, lying down on his side with his arm under the pillow, looking at the computer screen. Blaine's eyes were on him, and Kurt gasped silently at the sight. Somewhere in his head, he saw Blaine lying across from him, his head resting on his pillow instead. It was a comforting thought, and even if Blaine was just his best friend who just happened to like him back, Kurt's heart swelled with warmth that it had been lacking all day.

"You know, I had this really strange thought the other day," Blaine said, finally breaking the silence, but his eyes never leaving Kurt's.

Lifting an eyebrow, Kurt absently let his toes follow the stitching on the bed before he hummed softly. "And that is?"

Kurt looked at Blaine, and he seemed shy for the first time in a long time. It made him smile to think about how despite all the shit they were both obviously going through; little things could still make Blaine blush. Or so it looked like he was blushing. Blaine didn't meet Kurt's eyes again for a while, but Kurt didn't look away from Blaine.

With his finger lightly tracing over his pillow, which Kurt could see was a busy plaid pattern, Blaine shrugged. He sighed, before he answered, "I was walking around before I got back home. There's really no reason being home when you're not online. Well, so I was walking around and I just remember stopping by this chocolate shop window and seeing my reflection in the window…"

"Blaine," Kurt said, laughing lightly. "I'm not following you at all. What?"

Rolling his eyes, Blaine finally did look up as he smiled at Kurt, the smile finally reaching his eyes as he answered, "I pictured you standing next to me, in the window. And then I imagined walking around Rome with you. Showing you everything. Europe suits you a lot, Kurt." Looking down again, Blaine shrugged before clearing his throat and glancing up at Kurt for a moment, "That's not, well, that's not weird, is it?"

It was weird, Kurt knew that. In normal standards, it was completely weird. No one who said that they wanted to be just friends talked the way Blaine did, but Kurt had told himself to stop thinking that they were going to be normal. He'd stopped comparing them to his other friendships. They were Kurt and Blaine, and to Kurt, that wasn't weird at all.

In fact, it made him smile as he shook his head in answer. Exhaling, Kurt looked at Blaine as he said, "It's not that weird." Kurt shrugged a bit, which was awkward in the position he was and hurt his side, but he added, "Sometimes I think about you here, even if it does suck here."

Blaine laughed lightly, the sound making Kurt feel happy, although he hoped he hadn't said something too bad. "You picture me in your room?" Blaine asked, obviously teasing.

It had the desired effect, Kurt felt himself blush slightly, before he shook his head and frowned at Blaine. But as he spoke, he smiled softly, "No, pervert. I meant Lima. It sucks here, but sometimes I see something and I wonder what you'd say about it."

The confession is small, and Kurt doesn't know what reaction to expect from Blaine. He gets a smile, and Kurt once again relaxed into his pillow. Normal wasn't what they did. Maybe it was part of the distance. Sighing, Kurt closed his eyes again and asked, "Where would you take me in Rome, in this fictional world where I can afford a ticket there?"

His eyes stayed closed, but Blaine's voice made into his ear without any hesitation. It was soft, but his room was quiet. Kurt told himself not to fall asleep as he listened, "I'd take you to all the cheesy tourist areas. The coliseum, the Roman forum, the Pantheom, _Piazza Navona_ for lunch and listen to some musicians while they eat, people watching on the Spanish Steps, the Trevi Fountain…"

"I'd through a coin in, just for fun. I don't care if it's really touristy," Kurt interrupted, chuckling.

Blaine laughed in his ear, and he sighed happily for a moment as he went on. "I wouldn't expect anything else. I'd have to take you to the Via Condotti, you'd kill me if I didn't."

"What's there?" Kurt asked, wondering why Blaine was still chuckling.

"Well, Prada, Armani, Dolce & Gabbana, Fendi – the usual," Blaine answered, and Kurt couldn't help but chuckle with him.

The phone was quiet for a moment, and Kurt opened his eyes to see Blaine looking at him. He couldn't read the expression on his face, and Kurt was much too exhausted to even want to start deciphering it. He let him look at him, before letting his lips curl into a small smile that he reserved only for Blaine.

He returned the smile, and his voice dropped to a whisper as he continued, "I'd take you to the places tourists don't know about. To my favorite café and bakery. We'd have fun."

His tone was soft, and Kurt could sense that Blaine wanted to add to what he had said, but was holding back. But he didn't go on. Kurt nodded, opening his mouth to say something before he yawned. He groaned, and just got a gentle laugh in response from Blaine.

"Kurt, if you want to sleep, it's okay," Blaine said, as Kurt saw him shrug. "It's been a long day for both of us."

Nodding, Kurt sighed as he saw the time. It was hardly even seven, and he hadn't started his homework, but right now he couldn't care less. He hadn't realized just how tired he was until Blaine had brought up sleep, but keeping his eyes open was already a difficult task. "Okay," he sighed lightly. "But you're sleeping too, right?"

Blaine nodded, before he yawned as well, forcing a smile to break out onto Kurt's face instantly. Putting his hand on his laptop screen to pull it shut, Kurt looked at Blaine before he whispered, "Good night, Blaine."

"Good night, Kurt," came Blaine's voice, and Kurt captured the image of him there just before he closed the lid on his laptop. His eyes were heavy, but the smile on his face was calm and warming. It was a smile that Kurt hoped was only for him, although he didn't want to seem possessive. Blaine wasn't his, he knew that, but just like Kurt knew he saved a part of himself for Blaine, he liked to think Blaine did the same.

Pushing the laptop down onto the end of his bed, Kurt began to pull the covers back. The simple effort of pulling them up from under his pillows and from under the mattress where he had neatly tucked them in in the morning hurt, and Kurt stopped to clutch at his side. He didn't need to lift up his shirt and see the bruise to know it was there. He didn't need to see them in order to remember that tomorrow the promise of getting pushed into something else lingered over his head. Sighing heavily, Kurt tucked himself into the covers, pulling them up over his head as if trying to protect himself. But there was nothing to do, and the one person he had turned to for comfort was the last person who could _actually_ keep him safe.


	15. Chapter 15

Authors Note:

Why do they keep getting longer and longer and longer…This one is 7,577 words. I know it took me forever to get it to you guys, but it's finally here and I think that although I'm not in love with this chapter, I just have to post it because the more I wait, the more I'll struggle.

It's certainly…different from the other chapters…you'll hate me when you finish.

* * *

><p>The car in the driveway made him anxious, and Blaine literally had to take a breath before he continued to walk. The distance from the bus stop to his house was long, and usually Blaine spent the time wondering what he was going to do in order to pass the time before Kurt got online. He figured he had enough time to finish some homework before he went on his blog and stayed there. Blaine had mapped out his entire evening, and yet looking at the car in the driveway had thrown off his entire train of thought in a single moment as dread filled his veins.<p>

He made his way slowly up into his house, trying to be as quiet as possible. The less noise he made, the less likely he was going to be spotted. His mind went over the places in the house he could be, and Blaine decided that like always, his father had moved into his office.

Tip toeing into the kitchen, Blaine opened the fridge and reached for a water bottle. He uncapped it, and took a long drink, before he heard his father's slow, serious voice.

"Blaine."

His heart sank, and he took a deep breath before capping the bottle and turning around to meet his father. Blaine's mouth pulled into a tight smile as he nodded, "Yes sir?"

He stood there in his polished suit, and Blaine tried not to roll his eyes. His father made himself seem like he was so much better than he actually was, but Blaine knew the company was actually doing horribly. The move out here to Italy was one of the last chances they had had, and for a while it had worked out. Now though, with Italy's economy, Blaine knew that the company wasn't doing its best. Which was why seeing him dressed up in expensive clothing made him laugh, but Blaine kept these thoughts to himself as he waited for him to say something.

"Why are you coming home so late?" he asked, his voice calm, but the look on his face stern.

Turning around to look out the window, Blaine frowned in confusion. The sun was almost setting, but this wasn't any later than he was supposed to be coming home. With a slight cough, Blaine answered him, "I had practice."

His father cocked his head, his hands in his pockets as he leaned forward and said, his tone hushed, "Fencing doesn't have practice today."

It took all that Blaine had not to yell at his father. He told himself to remember the breathing exercises he had learned in fencing, to unclench his fists and relax. The last thing he needed was too get angry right now. Maybe around his old bullies at school it had bought him a few minutes before he was hurt, but around his father it just made him look weak. After all, Blaine supposedly had controlled his little anger issues.

Smiling though, he nodded as he stepped out from behind the island and moved past his father. Blaine was already halfway up the stairs before he spoke, too scared to face his father as he said, "I didn't mean fencing and you know that."

However, anything his father had to say to him was los as Blaine made his way quickly to his room. His spirit was shattered, and Blaine needed a moment to compose himself once inside. One comment to remind him he wasn't accepted threw Blaine off completely and it took him a while to convince himself that this wasn't going to ruin his night. In a few hours, Kurt would be online, and one simple smile from his best friend would be enough to set everything right. Even though he hadn't explained the situation with his father to Kurt, Blaine knew hewould make things better. It was what he did.

But after Blaine had finished his homework, blogged, and eaten, he noticed that Kurt's name stayed offline. The sun had long since set, and Blaine looked at his wrist watch (always set to Kurt's time) and _knew_that there was no reason why Kurt wasn't home yet. He sighed though, as midnight struck, and told himself to not worry. There were reasons why he wasn't online. Writing it off to the possibility that maybe Kurt had a project to do, Blaine shook away the itching feeling that something was wrong as he pressed his head into the pillow, way past one in the morning.

Blaine smiled as they pat his back, smiling as he stepped off the stage at the end of the concert. It was the annual board of trustee's dinner, and as always the Warblers ended up performing for an hour. Unlike those times when he had been little and his mother had let him perform in front of some of their dinner guests, Blaine actually enjoyed this. He wasn't alone, he was part of a team, and together they entertained. It was the way Blaine always wanted to perform.

Because on that stage, everything made sense. The scared, hesitant Blaine that he tried to hide with his collected exterior died on stage, and Blaine became the person he wanted to be. He wasn't afraid to be himself, and he wasn't afraid to be silly. He was performing; he was having the time of his life, and up on the stage Blaine forgot about all the shit that was going on in his head. He even forgot the hint of worry about Kurt that had been following him everywhere he went.

But as they all started to go home, Blaine said goodbye to the dean of their school and got up. He picked up his things in the senior commons, and began his commute home. The city whizzed by him, and Blaine hummed in his post-concert bliss. His blood was on fire, his body felt light now as the pre-show jitters were long gone. He was floating, and Blain couldn't remember a time when he felt so happy without the help of someone else. That someone else being Kurt.

As the bus made the turn to head towards Blaine's stop, his heart leaped at the thought of Kurt being "near". He missed him, even after one day of not talking to him. He missed his best friend, and although yesterday he could have used someone to make him forget about how awful his father had been, today he just needed someone to share this feeling with. He needed Kurt's smile to make him feel lighter. He needed his laugh as Blaine told him about each song to make him feel like he was up on that stage again. Kurt always managed to make Blaine light headed, and in many ways Blaine had grown addicted to him. He needed him, and as he got off the bus and started walking towards his house, Blaine bit down on his lip to suppress a smile.

He had been worrying about Kurt since last night, but Blaine wasn't worrying now. He had been busy, he knew it, and tonight when he signed into Skype, Kurt's name would read as online and Blaine's heart would leap in that funny way it always did. Blaine had been thinking about all the awful things that could have kept Kurt from getting online, but he had brushed those thoughts away. He didn't want anything bad to happen to Kurt, and in his perfect world Blaine tried to ignore these thoughts. In no way did he even want to think about something like what had happened to him happening to Kurt. He had been busy, that was all.

As he opened the door and entered his house, Blaine smiled at his mother who sat in the living room watching TV. The lights were off, and Blaine knew his father was already asleep upstairs because he had a flight in the morning. Stepping into the living room, he looked down at her and noticed she had fallen asleep watching a soap opera. Sighing, Blaine kissed her head before he took the throw at the end of the couch and draped it over her body, turning off the TV as he went back up to his room.

He'd never felt any resentment towards his mother, aside from the few times when she had simply let her husband yell at him. Sometimes Blaine didn't know what to think about her, and now that she was simply a ghost of a woman, he knew even less.

Climbing up the stairs, Blaine stripped out of his blazer and undid his tie as he turned on his laptop. His heart began beating loudly, and he took a breath to keep himself from getting too excited. He felt like a little kid again, wanting to tell his best friend all about his adventures. He wanted to tell Kurt _everything_.

But as it loaded and signed him into Skype automatically, Blaine pouted as he saw Kurt's status still read offline. His heart sunk, and Blaine felt a lump form in his throat. Clicking on his name, he sighed as he saw Kurt's smiling face in his icon and began typing a message.

**Blaine Anderson:** Kurt! Hey, are you appearing offline?

**Blaine Anderson: **Are you hiding from me? ;)

**Blaine Anderson: **Okay, I'm just playing around, but I guess you aren't here…

**Blaine Anderson: **Talk to you later then.

He contemplated telling him he missed him, but didn't. Blained sighed again, sounding like a broken record, before he opened up a browser window. His homepage, which was his dashboard popped up, and Blaine entered Kurt's tumblr's URL in the address line. Maybe he had posted something there and Blaine hadn't noticed. Maybe he had left Blaine a message saying he had gone out and it would be really late for Blaine when he came back, so he should just go to sleep. His heart fluttered at the thought of Kurt leaving him a message, but as the page finished loading, Blaine saw that the latest post had been made two days ago and had just been a reblog of some Alexander McQueen jacket.

That feeling of dread once again filled his head as he sunk back into his computer chair, trying to figure out what was going on thousands of miles away from him that he had no idea about.

Their heads were leaned against each other, their breath the same pace as their shoulders moved up and down. Around them, the people walked by as they looked out at the city. No one else existed in the world, or at least Blaine liked to think that. No one else mattered except for them in this moment, lost in each other and the beauty of the city. They turned to each other and smiled silently, before their lips met in a light kiss. It was tender and sweet, and the smiles that stayed on their lips as they parted were beautifully romantic.

It was strange, the way looking at them made Blaine think of Kurt. Sitting out on the Spanish Steps, trying not to mind the crowd, he watched the tourist couple with awe. They hardly said a word to each other, at least from what Blaine could hear. He felt like he was intruding on them, but he couldn't look away. There was something about the way he looked at her that reminding Blaine of the looks Kurt would give him.

But then again, everything reminded him of Kurt recently. The less time he spent with him, the more times he would find him in everything. The color of the sky made him think about his eyes, the sound of bells reminded him of his laughter, a smile from a tourist of his lips. Blaine was going insane, but after two days of no word, his mind was starting to worry. He was past creating excuses.

There was no point in being home so early though, which was why he was here in the city. The crowd around him annoyed him to a point, but Blaine didn't want to be home. His friends would have laughed at him if they knew he was in such a tourist area, but right now he didn't care. He needed to kill time, and watching people was always something Blaine could do. But it was either this or sitting alone in an empty room with a laptop taunting him.

"Excuse me," a voice said, pulling Blaine out of his reverie where his gaze had moved beyond the couple, who he then noticed had moved. Squinting a bit, Blaine blinked before he looked up at the source of the voice, making him chuckle as he saw it was the young woman he had been looking at.

He smiled, before answering, "Yes?"

She sighed, and with a giggle she spoke, placing her hand on her partners shoulder, "Oh, great! You speak English. I really didn't feel like practicing my college Italian."

The man at her side nodded, laughing before he kissed her cheek, "You should have seen the mess it was yesterday at the reception desk at our hotel. She insisted on speaking in Italian and no one understood her…"

"Anyway!" She interrupted, with slight annoyance in her voice that made Blaine smile. "You wouldn't mind telling us someplace to eat dinner, would you?"

He was a bit in awe about them all over again, watching them so close. The way they leaned into each other and how comfortable they felt touching. The way he would look at her as she spoke, or the way she would smile hearing him. They were crazy for each other. He wanted what they had or more so he longed to be that close to someone. Blaine could live without love, but this closeness was something he envied them for.

Blaine nodded though, and pointed down the Spanish Steps as he explained, "Actually, if you keep going down and to the left, you'll find this French Bakery that doesn't close for another hour? I recommend it, if you want someplace small."

She smiled wide and looked up at the man she was with, "That's sounds great, doesn't it?"

Their eyes met, and for the first time since he had started watching them, Blaine felt strange. The look that passed between them was too intimate, and he knew he shouldn't have been paying so much attention.

But the man smiled down at her, before nodding, "That sounds perfect."

It took them a moment to snap out of it, and Blaine wondered if he should sit back down and let them go on their way. But the woman snapped her head back down and looked at Blaine, her smile still there. "We're here from Ohio on our honeymoon. I came to Italy once when I was younger and fell in love, so we came back."

Although Blaine's heart warmed at the knowledge that they were newlyweds, his head perked up for another reason. Standing straighter, Blaine's smile grew as he said, "My best friend lives in Ohio!" He coughed though, before smiling again but softer, "I mean, that's wonderful. Congratulations! I really hope you guys enjoy Rome, it's a beautiful city."

"It really is!"

He watched as they walked, and his heart sunk. Why had he dragged Kurt into this? It didn't help that he was all he thought about, but also that he was worried sick of him. It didn't help that the entire time he had been staring at a newlywed couple, he had been thinking about his best friend and himself. He had thought of them looking at each other that way, and being close to Kurt that way. When before he had simply wanted to talk to him, Blaine now wanted more. And although he had come to terms with his feelings for Kurt, he didn't want to slip any deeper than he already had. In the end it would mean heartache for the both of them, and Blaine didn't want to cause any more trouble for Kurt.

But a greater problem presented itself in the simple fact that he hadn't heard a word from him in days, and his mind was running frantically. He needed to hear from Kurt, because it felt like a part of him was missing. Pictures of Kurt's head smashed into a locker appeared in his mind, and he shook his head at the thought of something like that happening to him. Blaine wouldn't wish what had happened to him on anyone, let alone Kurt, but he knew what it was like to be unreachable for days, and it was what his thoughts jumped to.

Blaine's mind was a jumble, and as he too walked down the steps and started to head home, he prayed to anything that would listen to let Kurt be online. But as he opened his laptop and looked at the Skype list; Kurt's name remained dark and offline.

* * *

><p>"Kurt?"<p>

His father's voice was soft, rousing him out of his sleep slowly. It was still sunny outside, and it took Kurt a moment to open his eyes and face the day. His time was better spent sleeping, especially as he sat up in his bed, the bruises on his torso making him cringe slightly. The old one from the bathroom from a week ago had disappeared slightly, but there were new ones to take its place. Kurt took a breath as he sat up and leaned back against his pillows as he took a breath. "Yeah?"

He watched as his father stepped into his room with a cup in his hands, walking delicately for someone as manly as Burt Hummel. It brought a smile to his face, although it faded, as his father spoke, "I brought you some of that tea stuff you're always trying to make me drink. It says it helps with muscle pains."

Kurt nodded as he took the cup out of his hands and cradled it in his own. The warmth of the liquid it held traveled through his tired body, and Kurt shivered slightly at the change in temperatures. It was easy to pass off exhaustion and anxiety for a fever, and his father had believed him in a second. It had been easy to call off all the cringes as his muscles in pain from the fever. He knew it was lying, but Kurt didn't want to explain anything. He was in his bed sleeping for a reason.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice hoarse from lack of use as he took a sip. Letting the liquid travel down his throat, Kurt wished it would actually help him. He wished there was a magical liquid that could whisk everything away. But he had learned that there was no fairy godmother's as a child, and now he had learned that even best friends who liked you couldn't help. Especially when they were thousands of miles away. The only thing the tea would do was calm him down, and the only thing sleeping and friends could do was dull the actuality.

Looking up at his father, Kurt cleared his throat before giving him a pained smile, "I'll be fine. Go back to work. I'll call you if something happens."

His father's face looked concerned, and Kurt knew telling the truth about why he was in bed was going to be too much for him. If a cold made him look so hurt, knowing his son was being bullied to the point where he was too frightened and broken hearted to leave his room would only make him both angry and anxiou. It was better to keep it to himself, even if he had no idea when he was going to be alright enough to leave his room.

Burt placed his hand on Kurt's shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze, before he quietly slipped out of his room. Kurt continued to sip on his tea, blowing on it to make it colder as he waited to hear the garage door close before he put the cup down on his bed side table.

Taking a breath, his fingers began to slowly work on the buttons of his pajama shirt. One by one, the dark blue buttons gave way to pale flesh marked with dark blue and purple bruises. Some were scrapes made from where he had been pushed into the edge of a table during lunch, which they had made look like an accident. Others were from times he had been caught alone in the hallway and thrown against lockers or water fountains.

His fingers touched his raw skin before Kurt shook his head and moved his hand away. He'd been here for two days. Kurt had lasted the whole week at school after talking on the phone with Blaine, pushing aside the incident as much as he could. He even pushed away the way they pushed him. His bruises had stayed over the weekend, but Kurt had figured they would get tired of it soon, or someone would notice. People asked, but no one did anything. He'd come to school on Monday telling himself that he would have to deal with a few pushes.

But as the memory of Monday crawled into his mind, Kurt kept in a sob as he began to button his shirt again. It was too much for him, to think about the way he'd been told it was better if he had never existed. That it would be better without his "kind." They had held him up from his collar as they spoke, but dropped Kurt before they did anything. It had been to scare him, he knew that. Everything they did was to scare him. But at that moment, their empty threats didn't seem so empty anymore and Kurt had run.

And run straight into his bed where he had stayed for two days. Because their threats _weren't_ empty anymore. Kurt wore what they were capable of under his shirt like he was branded. He wore their hatred on his skin and it made him sick.

He closed his eyes and lay down, forcing his eyes shut as he tried to will sleep back to him. He had done nothing but sleep for two days. Sleep and eat when he felt like it. But Kurt had fallen somewhere where even things he had previously enjoyed seemed useless. Kurt hadn't forgotten them, the things and people (or person as it should be), and as he had lain there his eyes had stared at his laptop. But unlike weeks prior where he would have opened it and spoken to Blaine at every chance, Kurt had simply gone back to sleep.

Kurt needed more than just a dulling of the pain. He needed it to be erased, and sleep brought that. Talking to Blaine just reminded him of another heart ache he didn't want to add to his plate. It was better to let Blaine go, he had thought as he lay there. Or talk to him when he had the strength to.

Closing his eyes tighter, he pushed Blaine out of his mind. Thinking about _anything_ hurt, and sleep was what he actually wanted to be doing. Kurt willed his mind into the world he could escape to without bringing in anyone else. He began to drift, until he heard the low buzzing of his cellphone.

"Dad…"he sighed, as he leaned over towards his bedside table, reaching out for his new iPhone. Without even looking, Kurt picked up the call and groaned into the phone, "Dad, I said I was okay, what is it?"

"Kurt?"

The voice on the other line was young, and wasn't his fathers in anyway. Kurt's eyes widened as he heard it, and he literally had to clasp his hand over his mouth to keep himself from doing something stupid. He wanted to hang up. He wanted to crawl back under the covers and never come out as soon as he heard Blaine's voice coming all the way from Italy. That same voice he had fallen in love with, and the voice he had been avoiding so vigorously for the past two days due to some stupid reason he couldn't understand himself. It didn't need explanation.

Kurt took a breath before he uncovered his mouth and whispered, "Hi, Blaine."

He hated how Blaine's voice made him feel better than two days of sleeping had. He hated how one word from the Blaine could lift his spirits like nothing else. When once upon a time it had been something he had turned to when he felt like this, something had changed inside of Kurt as he had laid there in his bed those past couple days. Kurt knew he had been hiding from everything by staying inside, but somehow the world he had created around Blaine seemed ridiculous.

He had realized it as he fell in and out of sleep, how he had built a world around Blaine. It was a perfect world, but it was a place of make believe. It was a place where Kurt could go to avoid everything that was wrong, and it had dulled all the pain. However, it had dulled him to the point where he occasionally forgot, and hearing Blaine now after two days of just staying away from the real world hurt because he longed to go back to that wonderful place he had created.

"Hey," his beautiful voice said, reaching Kurt's ear. "Are you okay? You sound a little weird and it's been…"

"Two days, I know," Kurt said, cutting him off as he slumped down into his covers. He prepared himself to lie again, sniffling to give it added affect and feeling awful for doing it, "I've been really sick."

He was lying to everyone, but he had to. If he told the truth, there would be questions and Kurt would have to explain. But there was no way to take someone and make them understand what he was going through. He didn't want to drag Blaine further into this than he already had. It wasn't fair.

Blaine's voice was soft as he asked, "Are you feeling better now?"

It hurt to keep lying, but Kurt closed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, a bit. I'm sorry if I worried you."

They sai nothing, and it's strange. In the whole time they had known each other, all of their pleasant silences hadn't been like this. They had smiled at each other over cam and not said a word, or did homework while the other blogged. They had lain in their beds on the opposite ends of the world staring up at their ceiling and it hadn't seemed strange at all. However, now there was something heavy in the air, and Kurt knew it wasn't _just_ his lying or his absence. It was Kurt's confession of loving him, it was Blaine's rejection but returning of his feelings. It was the distance hanging in the air along with the hurt and pain inside of them that Kurt couldn't even fathom yet but could only guess from his part.

He rolled over and tried to fall asleep. If he fell asleep, maybe Blaine would hang up and he could deal with him when things weren't so difficult, if that would ever come. He closed his eyes and listened to Blaine's quiet breathing, before hearing his voice again.

"Kurt, what's really going on?"

The words hurt, and he wanted to know _how_ Blaine always knew the truth. Or how, when it came to these things, Blaine understood in a way Kurt hadn't expected anyone else to. He got it in the way he had been trying to convince himself no one else could. But maybe Blaine didn't understand Kurt and was just good at telling if he was lying.

Biting his lip, Kurt answered, "I'm fine. I told you, I've been sick and in bed. I'm sorry I didn't get online and tell you, okay?"

There was a pause, but Blaine's voice was clear as he spoke. "I don't believe you."

Blaine's words were strong, and Kurt felt a rush of anger inside of him like he hadn't felt in a while. Two days without feeling anything but exhaustion had left him raw, and inside of him he could feel the rage of his attacks rising up.

And Kurt, who was usually so good at keeping his cool, lost it on the one person he had never wanted to be angry at. "You think you get it, _don't you?_ You think that just because you're my same age and because you're gay too that you understand me, right Blaine? Why should I tell you what's wrong you won't tell me about yourself? I ask about your father, and you change the subject. You're vague about almost _everything_ and I have to piece all these little parts together to create what I know of you while from day one I have poured myself out to you! Give me a reason why I should tell you what's wrong, Blaine, because I'm tired of being vulnerable."

He wanted to apologize for his words, and halfway through what he was saying, Kurt had begun to cry. The tears ran down his cheeks slowly, and he brushed them away as he bit down on his lip again to keep himself from saying anything else. He wanted to take them back, even if he meant them. It was all too complicated now.

Kurt wished he could see the expression on Blaine's face. He wished he could read his mind; see all the things that were rushing through it. But how could Kurt continue to confide in someone who only gave him half of the story? They were far away from each other, and only now was Kurt realizing that that meant complete honesty from both of them.

There was a moment when he didn't expect Blaine to say anything back and hang up, but he heard him sigh. And a moment later, Blaine was speaking, his voice only slightly above a whisper, "I try not to talk to you when my dad's home, or awake. He doesn't like that I'm gay and seeing me talk to you makes him angry. Talking about him makes me sad because I know how you are with your father and it hurts, Kurt. He's the reason I started fencing, but not the reason I continued. I came out my freshman year of high school. I know what it's like to be in a high school in America, Kurt. I understand what it's like."

He kept himself from saying the first thing that came into his mind, and instead took in what Blaine had told him. It was a lot, and Kurt didn't understand why Blaine had actually gone ahead and told him that. He had been ranting, but Blaine had been honest. Maybe people did care.

Clearing his throat after a moment, Kurt shook his head as he said, "It's not just that. You don't know the people I have to deal with, Blaine. You're too far away to get it."

Tears fell down Kurt's face, and his voice shook. He was so angry, and every bit of it he was taking out on Blaine. Maybe it was easier that way, even if Kurt didn't want to do it.

For the first time ever, Kurt heard anger in Blaine's voice when he spoke, "Don't make it sound like it's _my_ fault that I'm here, Kurt. Even if I lived back home, I'd still be more than a few hours away from you. It's no one's fault that we're far away…"

"Yes it is!" Kurt screamed, hurting his torso as he folded himself into a ball. "If you were _here_, none of this would have happened. You'd stick up to them for me; you'd be _here_ for me."

"Kurt," Blaine's voice was desperate now, and Kurt could hardly hear it over his tears. "I _am_ here."

But that was the problem. Blaine thought he was there for him, and Kurt knew he was, but he wasn't _here_. He couldn't touch him or hold him or go crying into his arms whenever he wanted to. Kurt couldn't go to Blaine like he could go to his father, and he had let himself believe that he could. It had hurt when he realized that almost everything he had pictured with Blaine had been a lie in his head. He'd let himself live in a fantasy that Blaine would magically appear and save him, but the distance had finally dawned on him.

Kurt whispered now, his sobs controlled, "No, you're not. You're there, Blaine. You're in Italy and I'm in Ohio and it sucks. And I just need a friend to help me but no one understands what it's like to be around those Neanderthals…"

He breathed out, and stopped speaking. Kurt let the line go quiet for a moment, brushing away his tears. The silence was heavy, but it was lighter despite the tension. Kurt's chest felt lighter, even if he felt awful for screaming at him.

"I was bullied too, in high school," Blaine whispered finally, and Kurt nodded because he had gathered that much from their conversations. Months of knowing each other and he only knows that much. "It was mostly just taunts for a while, but as long as I stayed down they stayed away. I started blending in." Blaine took a breath, and Kurt held his as he listened, the words he had said to Blaine now coming back to bite him.

He continued, "But then there was the Sadie Hawkins dance, and I asked a sophomore who was my friend. He was gay too, and we had a _great_ time that night. We were waiting for his dad when these guys came and beat the living crap out of us. I had three cracked ribs and I broke my nose. When I came home from the hospital, I didn't go back to school. And my dad's job offer came next, and Italy was like a dream come true. "

His heart was heavy, and he wanted to start crying again. Kurt's own words stung, and he couldn't think of anything to say. With a helpless whimper, Kurt whispered, "I'm so sorry..."

But he could almost see Blaine shaking his head from the other line. "You were right," he said, and Kurt composed himself to listen to Blaine. "You were right about me not telling you the truth. I want to tell you everything, but it'll take time. I _need_ you Kurt, and I want you to know I'm here for you. Because I don't want you to make the same mistakes that I did."

Blaine's confession was soft, and Kurt let his words fill him as he tried to understand Blaine. "I'm just tired of it," Kurt whispered, hugging himself. He thought about Blaine, but didn't picture him with him. Kurt needed to become independent again, and his first step was with Blaine. He was just a bit too broken right now to start.

With a sigh, Blaine replied, "I know you are. But you can't run. That's what I did, and I literally hate myself for that, Kurt. I fence now to tell myself I'm not a coward. You just need to...stand up to them."

Kurt chuckled there, shaking his head as he rolled his eyes. "As if it's that simple."

Blaine doesn't argue back, and they sat there in silence for a while. He feels closer to him, somehow, despite the distance and the resentment. Kurt feels closer than he's ever felt to Blaine, beating even those silly dreams of being wrapped in Blaine's arms. It was different now, and Kurt was too tired to explain it, but as he closed his eyes he felt mentally closer to Blaine than he ever had.

"Things get better," Blaine whispered, and Kurt wished he weren't lying. "And I'm _right here_."

He kept his comment to himself, and didn't say that he knew Blaine both was and wasn't. He wanted him to help him, but at the same time wanted to do it himself. He just wanted this over with. Kurt fell asleep with the phone against his ear, knowing that despite the fact that Blaine's breath made it into his ear, it didn't mean he was here. He fell asleep knowing that despite the fact that Blaine was trying to help, that he couldn't. But most importantly, he fell asleep knowing that he didn't have to wait for Blaine's help, or anyone else's. No running away like in every other time.

It seemed like a dream, but Kurt could have sworn he heard Blaine whisper the word _courage_ to him in his sleep.

* * *

><p>He had held his breath as he closed his locker after Glee club. Everyone had asked Kurt where he had been, and he had told them the same thing; he had been sick. The whole day though, he had been fine. Despite the fact that he had it resolved in his head, Blaine's words resonating through him, nothing had happened all day. He had kept his head down and went to class, and no one had said or done anything.<p>

But as he closed the metal locker door slowly, he tried to tell himself to not be lured into a false sense of security. It had happened before, and had been happening for months. How had he thought that he was safe simply because when he went home, there was a boy on a computer screen there for him? Blaine was a friend, not a safety net. Kurt had to take care of his problems himself.

Like the rest of the day, his senses were heightened. Every pencil drop, every locker slam, every footstep sounded like a bomb, and Kurt was preparing for anything. So when he heard heavy footsteps in the corner, he took another breath and hoped it wasn't what his fears were creating in his head. Clutching his book to his chest, Kurt turned to look at who was making their way what he could only perceive was down the hallway.

His glasz eyes looked up and met their dark ones. He watched as the boys in their red letterman kept walking to him, and wondered if they were going to do anything to him. Kurt knew he was taking precautions, but he didn't want to assume too much. These particular two he hadn't seen do anything to him yet, and Kurt wasn't going to be a bully himself and start something.

With his head held high, he began walking down the hallway. He passed them, and released a breath he had been holding the whole time. For a moment, Kurt allowed himself to hope just a bit. He allowed his head, which had been in a dark, scary place just yesterday as he yelled at Blaine, to lift up a bit as he continued to walk.

But he was hardly down the hallway as he heard another pair of footsteps. Kurt didn't turn to see them, but he kept going. He was almost out of the school with just one turn, and once he was out he would be safe. At least relatively. The footsteps were loud and unmistakable as they got closer, and Kurt could already tell they were following him, whoever it was.

As he prepared himself to glance over his shoulder and meet his stalker, Kurt had no time to see who it was. Within seconds, he was pushed against the lockers and his head rattled as his back met the cold metal. Trying to move, he found himself held there, powerful arms holding him in place as he looked up and met Azimio's face.

"We missed you the other day, Hummel," another voice said, and he turned to look at Karofsky standing there behind Azimio. Kurt blinked, and looked around him to find himself corned and outnumbered one to four, the two boys who had walked by him now joining their friends. "Were you hiding from us?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Trying to shake Azimio off, Kurt kept struggling as he glared back at him. "You wish. Let go of me!"

"Or what?" Azimio threatened, as the two boys got closer in, Karofsky keeping his place. "What're you going to do to us? We're not scared of you, Hummel."

It was just like the other day, and Kurt tried to keep his head together. He remembered Blaine's whisper, he remembered Blaine telling him to stand up for himself and not run away. He had always run, and right now the only way he saw this ending was by telling them to back off. If he showed them he wasn't scared, they would stop; he was sure.

"Of course you're not," Kurt spat out, growling lowly. "It's not what I'm going to do. Do you guys even know _why_ you're doing this? Give me one good reason as to why you pick me of all the kids to do this to."

They seemed taken back, and Kurt's chest swelled with pride. He was going to show them, and he was going to do this for both himself and for Blaine, who had never gotten a chance to stand up for himself. He was going to get things right; for both of them.

Azimio laughed, and Kurt looked at the rest of them who had joined in. Karofsky stayed silent, and his silence scared Kurt more than the laughter. There had always been something different about the way Karofsky treated him, and yet it was strange that his hands were stuffed into his pockets and he hadn't made any inclination to move forward.

"You're disgusting. I crush ants and set out rat traps because bugs and rats are ugly, _like you._" Azimio answered, frowning.

Kurt stood up straighter from where he was being held, but knew he only had one option. Bracing himself for how disgusting it would be, he spit in Azimio's face and growled as Azimio let go of him, "_Look in the mirror!_"

He stood his ground even though he was free. It wasn't about running anymore, even if he saw that he was outnumbered and angered them. His heart was pumping with adrenaline, and Kurt knew he was being stupid, but he kept telling himself that he could keep talking and get them to see the truth.

"Don't you guys see it?" he started. "Don't you guys see that there's _no_ reason to hurt me? I'm going to keep being myself no matter how many times you push me, and there's nothing you guys can do to stop me. I've done _nothing_ to you. Being gay isn't bad…"

"Shut up, Hummel," Karofsky hissed, but he kept his ground much to Kurt's surprised. He was too busy looking at the rest of them to see the pained expression on Karofsky's face.

It was Azimio, who had wiped his face, who stepped forward closer to Kurt. Kurt stepped back to earn himself some time as he continued, "You hate me for doing nothing. Can't you just realize this isn't a game and get over yourselves?"

But he knew he had made a mistake by provoking Azimio. His words weren't fazing anyone, and Kurt felt his side bruise as he was pushed hard against the lockers before his vision blurred.

His head was rattled and his side hurt, but he heard a woman's voice yelling in the distance before he felt strong, gentle arms help him up.

"You didn't have to do that," Kurt whispered as he looked up at his house. The sun was long since set, and he knew from the fact that he had several messages he hadn't wanted to answer on his phone that his father was worried. "You didn't have to stop them. I was fine. Or drive me home either."

Bieste looked at him as she parked her car, before shaking her head. "Sorry, Kurt, but they're my boys and they're going to be on probation from now on. But we need to talk to someone about what's going on. Why you didn't try to come to one of us for help."

He didn't reply, but helped her walk him to the door. He didn't explode on her like he had on Blaine, and he tried not to keep from crying. He had gone and stood up for himself and it had backfired on him. He couldn't tell her that he had tried to talk to people a few times, but they refused to notice. He couldn't tell her that he had given up hoping that someone would help. She wouldn't have understood what it felt to be alone without any help; the only person who could (he knew now), was thousands of miles away.

His heart tightened as he realized he had failed both of them.

Kurt didn't want his father to open the door, and he counted down the seconds it would take for his father to get off the couch and open the door. He wondered how long it would take for him to notice how rattled Kurt was, to see the way he was clutching at his side.

But he stared at his father's face as he opened the door, wondering most what would happen now.


	16. Chapter 16

**Authors Note**: I KNOW THIS TOOK A WHILE TO GET OUT, BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I WAS SICK LAST WEEKEND AND I COULDN'T WRITE ANYTHING. So, please, please don't kill me. I think I'll have Part 17 up sooner. Especially since it's one I've been wanting to write. There's a part in here that you might not understand, but you'll see it's purpose later.

Also, yeah, each part gets longer and longer. This one is 7,599 words…

* * *

><p>"Kurt, honey, can you come down here please?"<p>

Carole's voice traveled up the stairs and into Kurt's room where he was cleaning things up, trying to give himself something to do as he waited for Blaine to get home from Warbler practice. Three days of going basically nowhere was driving him insane, and Kurt needed to do something with the layout of his room before that happened. Looking up, he brushed sweat off his brow and sighed as he took off his cleaning gloves.

He touched his bruise for a moment as he straightened up, taking in a deep breath before calling out as he began walking down the stairs, "Coming."

His black converse all-stars hit the carpet on the way down with a soft thump and Kurt let his mind wander over everything that he wanted to do. He had a lot of time to kill until he was allowed to go back to school on Monday of next week. Somehow spitting in someone's face in self-defense had merited him a week of suspension, but if it gave Kurt a few days to sort things out he wasn't really complaining.

Seeing his father and Carole gathered around a laptop made him frown though, and he raised an eyebrow as he rounded the corner and entered the kitchen from the living room. They looked up at him, his father straightening himself before he pulled out a chair and cocked his head towards it. "Sit down, Kurt."

He didn't want another meeting or another talk. Ever since he had sat down with Couch Beiste and his father Friday night, Kurt had done nothing but talk. He had told them everything that had happened, explaining the locker throwing and the cornering in the bathroom or the things they would tell him. But it hadn't stopped then, no matter how much he pleaded his father to calm down because of his heart. They had taken it to Principle Figgins, and he had had to explain it all again. And then they had taken it to the School Board, where Kurt had had to explain himself to a panel of parents who looked at him with judging eyes. He had sat there, his father raging next to him, as his bullies told their version of the story, perverting the truth and twisting it to sound like _Kurt_ had been provoking them the whole time.

A week suspension for everyone involves was all they had come up with. Because even though Coach Beiste had been able to save him the last time, she hadn't come soon enough and seen them hurt Kurt. There was no evidence against what the boys were claiming, and Kurt had sat there for nearly two hours knowing he had no chance.

"What is it?" Kurt asked as he walked over, sitting down and looking up at his parents. His tone was guarded, and he crossed his arms over his chest before straightening himself up and sighing as he waited.

Burt looked at Carole, who simply nodded. They had a little exchange between each other with just a simple look, and Kurt wondered if he would ever be able to understand someone the way his father and Carole seemed to understand each other. It warmed his heart to see his father so happy, but right now he needed to remind himself that this wasn't a happy time. He waited for them to speak, and looked at Carole as she opened her mouth.

Turning the laptop towards Kurt, she smiled as she said, "When a kid at the hospital misses a lot of school because they're sick or recovering from a surgery, we put them in a special program. It's like going to school, but from your laptop. You have teachers and they live stream their lessons. There's even a website for the students to communicate just in case they want to make study sessions. It's very interactive."

As she spoke, Carole went to the website. Kurt watched the screen, seeing pictures of what she was talking about; with children smiling on the computers with headphones plugged in as they listened to what he could only assume was a lesson. He frowned though, despite the happy images, unable to understand why she was telling him this.

"It's not just for sick kids too," she added, now catching Kurt's eye. "There are kids who want a different kind of education, there are child actors who need to be on set, there's young pro athletes. It's for everyone."

But Kurt looked at her and then at his father, before his eyes wandered down to the screen again. Picture after picture lined with quotes, all praising the program, showed up and blurred in an endless loop. He nodded, before smiling up at them, "That's really great! Now, what did you guys want?"

A pained look passed over his father's look, and he watched as Carole extended her hand to rub his arm. With a sigh, Burt shook his head and sat down next to Kurt instead of hovering over his wife and him. Their eyes met, and in a calm voice he said, "We enrolled you in the program."

It was everything Kurt had feared as he had listened, but hadn't wanted to admit. It was everything that he had thought would happen, but up until now hadn't actually thought was an option. He had hoped it wasn't an option. Kurt's face went blank, and he said nothing as he tried to take it in.

"There are other options," he finally whispered, shaking his head. Looking up at his father, he frowned, "We talked about this. I _want_ to go back to McKinley. If I run away now, they're just going to find someone else to pick on and it's going to continue. I can't _not_ go to school, Dad."

It was Carole who spoke first though, her hand squeezing Kurt's as she said, "Honey, it isn't safe for you there. Your father and I have talked it over, and there's only a few months left in the school year anyway. This is the easiest option for us, and also the cheapest. We can't afford to send you to that school in Westerville…"

"But I can't run away!" Kurt said, raising his voice slightly as he stood up, shaking his head. He was trying not to cry or scream, because he knew that both of them were just trying to help. He knew that in the end of things, they were doing this out of love, and Kurt couldn't be angry at either his father or Carole for caring. But they didn't understand the pain that had been in Blaine's voice as he explained to Kurt how he had left his bullies. They didn't get the way Kurt didn't want to hear that same pain in his voice. Staying in McKinley was his only option to get even for both himself and Blaine. He didn't want running away to turn into an option.

"Kurt," his father said, in his stern low voice, prompting him to look up. His eyes were kind, as always, and Kurt could only sigh. "You're not running away. Those guys want to hurt you, and a room full of old, homophobic adults doesn't understand that they mean the things they say. Saving yourself isn't running when there's no other option. I'm not letting you get hurt; I can't lose anyone else."

And suddenly, Kurt felt stupid and childish. He started crying, but instead moved towards his father and hugged him, glad to feel his father's strong arms around him. Kurt knew that it was running away, but he understood that there wasn't another option left. Thinking about McKinley made his body tremble, made his heart freeze, and he knew that inside of him the school that he had once felt happy in wasn't the same anymore. Because on Monday, when he could return, his bullies would too. And his blood ran cold simply with that thought.

McKinley wasn't a school anymore, it was a dungeon. And even if all his friends went there, Kurt realized that there was practically nothing that was going to ease him as he walked through those halls. Not even repeating Blaine's whisper of '_courage' _like he had that Friday.

He cried because he didn't want to put his father through any more pain. Kurt had almost lost him once this year alone, he couldn't imagine what going back would do to his nerves. He cried because The New Directions were going to New York, the city of dreams, and he was going to have to stay in Lima.

But his father's arms held him tighter as he whispered into his ear, filling Kurt with hope, "It's only for a few months."

He knew there was another option than this, and if it took those few months to find it, Kurt could stand tall and face them.

* * *

><p>He'd checked out of the lesson a few minutes ago, as he noticed the teacher was already rambling. It was just like back home, only now he couldn't turn to the person next to him and entertain them with silly cartoons he would draw in two seconds. But his mind was wandering, and Kurt looked down at his notes and realized that three pages worth of notes was enough and certainly more than he ever took in McKinley, so there was no reason he should be so bent on paying attention to everything he was saying. American history was stupid and repetitive either way.<p>

Biting down on the end of his pen, Kurt looked out the window and sighed. He couldn't close out of the lesson though; they kept track of how long your IP was logged into the stream. He was trapped there for another twenty minutes, until the hour finally ended and Kurt was allowed to be free. It had been a full week of this, and the only perks of it that Kurt had found was the fact that he didn't have to wake up as early as he once had, since his first class was an independent English study which he only had to sign in for occasional discussions with a group once every month. But aside from that, his days consisted of waiting around an empty house until he had to sign into one of the three live streams he had: Math, Physics, and American history. Of course, he had opted to take French as an independent study as well. The course had its perks, and Kurt could see as to why kids used it, but Kurt hadn't left his house all week, and a wardrobe like his was _meant_ to be seen by more than simply his family and Blaine.

For a moment, he could have sworn he was stuck. But as his eyes stayed on the window and the sun, a smile spread wide on his lips. Sitting upright, Kurt called his attention towards his screen again as he found the icon he was looking for at the bottom of the screen. The idea hadn't occurred to him until now, one week into the program, and Kurt almost wanted to slap himself for not realizing it sooner. With a simple _click_, he tapped the icon and let him sign him onto Skype, his afternoon instantly perking up as soon as he saw the name he had been hoping he'd see, not knowing that on the other side of the world, someone else's heart had literally leaping that Kurt's name had appeared.

His fingers were quick, and somehow Kurt was reminded of a time long before now as he wrote. Of a time before he had had to drop out of high school due to bullying. Effortlessly, he hit enter.

**Kurt Hummel: ** This man doesn't shut up, I swear.

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm still technically in "class", but I figured since I don't think he's saying anything important, I'd sign in here.

**Blaine Anderson:** Kurt!

**Blaine Anderson: ** You're skipping? Kurt…

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm not skipping though!

**Kurt Hummel: ** He's boring me to tears and I needed to talk to someone because Mercedes is in gym and Rachel has this thing against using her phone in class to text me.

**Blaine Anderson: ** So, I'm your last resort? ;)

**Kurt Hummel: ** Naturally Blaine, really.

He smiled as they spoke, happy now despite his earlier melancholy. Only it wasn't just Blaine making him happy; it was the fact that he was talking to someone who wasn't himself. The house was empty, aside from his father occasionally coming in when he forgot something. And besides, who was there to go out with if the rest of his friends were in school literally all day.

**Blaine Anderson: ** So, is this going to become a common occurrence?

**Kurt Hummel: **Wait, what?

**Blaine Anderson: **You, being on Skype, while I'm here.

**Blaine Anderson: ** I mean, does your new schedule allow you to, I don't know, web cam with me between classes.

**Blaine Anderson: **When I'm here, of course.

Kurt blinked for a moment, before he frowned at himself. Was it going to be? In all actuality, it worked perfectly, and somehow Kurt wondered why neither one of them had thought of it when they spoke after Kurt had finished classes every day this week. He didn't know that Blaine had contemplated asking him what he was doing in the downtime he had between classes, but the thought had never occurred to Kurt . Maybe it was the newness of it, of the fact that Kurt was used to being around when it was actually somewhat early for Blaine. The thought hadn't crossed his mind.

Frowning as he heard a noise, Kurt glanced at the screen again and tried stopping the laugh that escaped his throat.

**Blaine Anderson:** Not that I don't like this. Because that sounded weird.

**Blaine Anderson: **I was just wondering.

With a smile, he replied.

**Kurt Hummel:** I think it could be.

It was strange, to think that he was going to be around when Blaine was. Kurt took a breath, and realized finally just how much his life had changed within the past couple weeks. He wasn't in Glee club anymore, and wasn't going to help them get to Regionals at all. He was going to have to sit there in the audience, watching as his friends lived out there dreams.

The man in his ear stopped speaking, and Kurt sighed and closed the window. He needed to talk to someone, and quick. His head felt heavy, and his heart was like a weight in his chest. How was it that something that was supposed to be helping him was making Kurt feel worse than he had ever felt? At least in McKinley, he had had something to look forward to. His days were going to be stretched out now, day after day of being inside. Kurt couldn't deal with that.

Without even looking at Blaine's reply, Kurt clicked on the button to start a video call. He needed someone to talk to and who better than Blaine, who had already proven to be good at getting him to calm down. Running his fingers through his hair, which he _had_ bothered to do despite the fact that he was staying in, Kurt didn't look at his screen as he waited for Blaine to answer the call.

But his eyes went wide as he looked up and saw Blaine.

Kurt wasn't looking at Blaine's face. He was looking at what was staring straight back at him, which happened to be Blaine's bare chest as he pulled a white t-shirt over his head. And just as soon as the what seemed to be tan and beautiful skin with slight inklings of chest hair appeared, it was gone as Blaine sat down. Instantly, a blush rushed to his cheeks, and Kurt didn't even realize he was staring at where Blaine's very naked chest had just been.

"Hey!" Blaine said, in his happy cheerful tone, snapping Kurt out of his thoughts, which he had to admit weren't exactly pure. But the tone in Blaine's voice irritated Kurt, because he _knew_ Blaine had no idea what he had just done. To Blaine, his little actions did nothing, and it annoyed Kurt to the extreme that he had no idea what he did to him.

"Hey," Kurt breathed out, now able to snap out of his trance, but storing the _very_ welcomed sight in the back of his mind for later use. If he hadn't been so preoccupied by his predicament, the blush on Kurt's face would have stayed a little longer, but right now he was just glad it faded so quickly. He leaned back against his chair and licked his lips for a moment before he said, "Sorry, I just sort of realized I didn't warn you that I was calling."

Blaine shook his head, and the curls that had fallen out of his gel bounced happily. "It was fine; I was going to ask you if I could call anyway."

That made Kurt's heart speed up just a bit, and for a moment he wondered if he could just stay here and let Blaine make him happy. It was what he always did, and Kurt simply wanted to take advantage of that right now. But he knew that he was done relying on Blaine so much, at least when it came to some things.

With a small smile, Kurt rested his chin on the palm of his hand and asked, "How was Warbler practice?"

He watched Blaine's lips pull into a smile before he simply shrugged. It made Kurt slightly angry to see Blaine undermine all his work to a simple shrug, especially now that he couldn't be part of New Directions. He was bitter, in a sense, but at the same time it was because he wanted to be able to see Blaine actually perform so badly. He wanted to see him period, though. Kurt got so lost in his own thoughts he failed so realize just how little eye contact Blaine was making with him.

"It went well. We did that new Maroon 5 song, and I thought it was pretty awesome. You should have seen some of the dance moves, the guys killed it!" Blaine answered, giggling slightly as he looked down at what Kurt could only appear to be his desk.

Kurt took a moment to reply, before he simply sighed and smiled at Blaine, but he knew he could tell it was forced. He didn't catch the look of worry that passed over Blaine's face as he suddenly moved forward once he saw the distress in Kurt's expression.

"That's lovely," Kurt said, nodding. Taking in a deep breath he added, "I'm sorry. I'm just…aggravated with everything right now. I haven't left the house in a whole week, and it feels like I'm literally trapped. Hearing about glee club practice makes me nostalgic, I guess. I miss talking to people and dressing up for them and not just myself. "

He kept his eyes on his notes, not really looking at them but not wanting to look at Blaine. He missed the sigh Blaine took at the same time he did. Lost in his own little world, Kurt wasn't even aware at the way Blaine was watching him now as he sat there slightly hunched over.

"Kurt," Blaine's voice came out in a small whisper into his ear. "I know it's hard, but at least we get to talk more now, right? With the whole new schedule, it means you're home once I get home. That's pretty cool."

Scoffing, Kurt literally rolled his eyes, not catching the way Blaine furrowed his brow at the action, as if it had hurt him. He just shook his head and looked at the screen, unable to read the expression on Blaine's face as he said, "Yeah, but I always talk to you anyway, Blaine. I'd miss you too much if I didn't. My point is that I'm _stuck_ here. I'm supposed to be feeling better now that I'm out of school and safe, and instead I feel lonelier than ever."

Kurt had no idea how his words hurt Blaine, instead simply playing with the pen that had been lying on top of his notebook. He doodled for a moment, taking in the silence that had never been awkward until now, but it still wasn't for him. He didn't know that Blaine was taking his words to heart; he was too busy trying to figure out what to do with his life now.

"I have an idea."

His head shot up, his eyebrows high in his forehead as he looked up at Blaine, who despite everything was now smiling. Kurt felt himself wanting to smile as he saw him, wondering how someone's feelings could be so infectious, or if it was just the way he felt about him. But as Blaine didn't continue, Kurt literally laughed and smiled as he said, "Well, go on!"

Blaine laughed along, and they both leaned towards their screen, towards each other as Kurt got ready to hear what Blaine had to say. It still felt effortless, the way he could be with Blaine, and it shocked Kurt that even after everything they had both been through with their school life and even what they had gone through in their friendship, that they could be so perfectly at ease with each other. But it had always been like that. It was what made Kurt feel like he would be safe around Blaine. It was what had gotten him to open up to a random stranger on the internet in the first place.

Kurt watched as Blaine licked his lips, but tried to keep his mind focused on one thing. He tried to listen.

"Well," Blaine said, looking down now slightly as soon as he noticed they had been staring at each other. Kurt didn't notice anything had changed, leaning in more still. "Do you have a community theater in Lima, by any chance?"

Blinking, Kurt nodded and said, "Yeah, it's in west Lima. Why?"

He wasn't following, but by the way Blaine's smile only widened, Kurt knew he was onto something. Frowning slightly, he waited as Blaine continued, beaming now. But he noticed Blaine was waiting for him to get it, that puppy dog look on his face as he simply looked at Kurt.

Kurt shook his head and laughed, his eyes catching Blaine's again as he added, "I really have no idea where you're going with this."

He loved the way Blaine simply giggled, wondering why he had never really heard him laugh like _that_ before. He watched as his friend smiled and looked down slightly, before looking up at him again as he began explaining. "Well, I know you like theater, and you obviously like performing. But you don't have to be in school to do both, so I thought…"

"Oh!" Kurt said, once it finally snapped in his head. Laughing, he clapped his hands together and practically jumped in his seat as he understood where Blaine was going with this. "You're suggesting I try out for things at the community theater now that I have the spare time!"

Blaine laughed along, and Kurt kept smiling like an idiot. "Yes," Blaine said, chuckling. "That's _exactly_ what I was suggesting. We can be around each other when you have time in between classes, and then when you're done you can go to rehearsals. You'll have more time to practice your lines, and I can even help you. You don't _have_ to be stuck in here…"

Looking at Blaine, Kurt felt his heart swell before he interrupted him. "You're right," Kurt said, smiling as he sighed, lacing his hands into each other and pressing them against his fist in happiness. Because he _was_ right. Sometimes Kurt wondered what he would do without people like Blaine or his father, who made his world make sense. He hated how selfish he had sounded before, how ridiculously ungrateful he had been towards what his father had done to keep him safe.

But Kurt had already tuned him out as his head raced ahead, moving at a thousand miles an hour. He saw himself on stage, getting a standing ovation for a play. He saw his father in the audience, cheering for him just like he had when Kurt had been part of the football team. New Directions was there, and Rachel looked like she was crying. His heart was pounding as he imagined the crowd, but suddenly the only person he could see in the crowd was Blaine, standing there and clapping, with flowers in his hand all for him. Maybe he didn't want to lean on Blaine the way he once had, but he wanted Blaine just the same.

Their eyes met again, and this time they both blushed. It was like they had both been thinking the same thing and had caught each other, but Kurt didn't want to assume anything. He was done getting ahead of himself when it came to relationships. For now, Kurt Hummel was going to just sit back and bask in whatever _this _was. Kurt didn't understand what was going on, but his heart felt lighter than it had in days.

He smiled though, and caught Blaine's eye again. Their soft honey color (yes, Kurt had finally decided that despite the distortion of the colors in Blaine's room, they were definitely honey colored) met his own blue ones, and he wondered why he looked anywhere else. Sometimes, it didn't matter how complicated things were as long as they were talking.

Neither one of them looked away, and in a hushed whisper, even if he was all alone in his house, Kurt said, "If you were here, I'd hug you."

It was the first time Kurt had ever admitted anything like that, and he could feel his cheeks grow hot as he waited for a response. But Blaine had looked down for a moment, before he glanced up again and met Kurt eyes, Kurt swearing there was a slight blush on his face as well, but ended up blaming it on the cameras 's lighting. Blaine's smile was soft, but beautiful as he replied just as quietly, breaking their gaze, "I'd like that a lot."

* * *

><p>He'd been here before, but somehow walking along the empty theater changed things. Without the small crowd that had gathered for a performance of 'Guys and Dolls' a few years that his father had taken him to, the theater seemed too quiet and calm. He'd known not to expect something big, but it was enough for Kurt to feel overwhelmed. Not to mention he was nervous, standing there all alone, wishing his friends weren't at school so that he could text them for moral support. He felt both out of place and at home, but wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to do now that he was here.<p>

Kurt hadn't thought that far. He had picked out the perfect outfit, left his father something healthy to eat in the fridge with a note over the postcard of Rome they kept in the kitchen telling him how much to heat it up to because he knew Carol was working late tonight, and even went to get some coffee after he had said goodbye to Blaine and headed out. He had had the whole day planned out perfectly, but the moment his hands touched the cold metal to open the door, Kurt wasn't sure what he was supposed to do.

His boots hit the carpet floor as he stood looking at a wall filled with pictures of past performances, categorized by year and play. Kurt's heart was filled with joy as he saw the emotion on their faces, wondering if one day he too would join them and become an actor. Since he was young, he had wanted to act, whether it be in film or on stage. For a while, Kurt had considered going into fashion, and even to this day it seemed like a perfectly viable back up plan for if the acting thing didn't work out. Because he knew how hard it could be. Some days he knew he could do it, some days the dream he had had since he was a child looked like it was right there in the palm of his hand. But other days it seemed like nothing more than a dream, farther away than Blaine Anderson.

Spotting a little girl, he almost laughed as soon as he realized it was Rachel. She was wearing a long dress, curtsying in front of everyone else in the cast photo. She couldn't have been over five years old, and Kurt shook his head as soon as he realized that she must have been just part of the ensemble, but had made herself the center of attention. It was so Rachel, and Kurt sighed heavily at how much he missed her. She really had been working in pretty much everything from a young age, hadn't she? He envied how easy it must have been for her to like the things she liked, even if Kurt had been pretty vocal about his love for theater.

But he stood up straighter, telling himself that right now he needed to be strong. He had come here to do something, and he wasn't going to leave until it was done. Closing his eyes and collecting himself, Kurt took a step back and was about to continue walking around when he heard a voice.

"Can I help you?"

Turning around, Kurt blinked at the young man with dusty blonde hair who had just walked out of a door at the other side of the medium size reception room. He had a smile on his face and a book in his hand, and Kurt smiled back at him. He couldn't have been much older than him, but there was something about the way he held himself that told Kurt he wasn't in high school anymore. His clothes were normal, and Kurt felt a little overdressed in his button down, vest, skinny jeans and boots, but reminded himself that it was _always_ like this when he was around guys near his age.

He stepped forward, before he said, "Well, I was actually wondering about what plays you guys were doing and if it's too late for me to audition or…"

His face beamed, and there was something about his expression that reminded him of Blaine's, but Kurt wasn't trying to compare them. It was natural for him to see Blaine in other people, actually, and Kurt knew it was somewhat because he wanted to see Blaine himself _that_ bad.

"You're not late at all!" he said, as he stopped walking just a few feet away from Kurt. Clapping his hands together, he smiled and pointed at the empty space on the wall as he went on, "We just finished 'Into the Woods'. I was Jack, actually. Our next show starts at the end of May and auditions start in a week, I think."

Kurt smirked at his luck, before crossing his arms over his chest. With a smile, he asked, "And what's the next play going to be?"

The boy who had yet to introduce himself lifted up the book he had in his hand. The cover showed a donkey sleeping on a bed of beautiful flowers, and instantly Kurt knew what the play was. He bit his lips, unsure now if he wanted to do it. There were certain taunts that were _very_ easy to make to him if he did a play about fairies.

"It was actually my idea," he explained to Kurt, who had looked up from the cover and back at his face. "My father runs the place, and I figured why not try to be my favorite role _ever_."

Kurt chuckled and raised an eyebrow before he smirked, "Puck?"

He winked at Kurt, before smiling again as he said, "So you know the play."

With a shrug, Kurt simply replied with, "I read it in 9th grade."

They stood there for a moment, before the boy realized something. Holding up his finger, he walked back through the door he had walked out from. Kurt waited there for a moment, shuffling his boots into the somewhat tacky carpet that he would just have to learn to live with if he was going to start coming here often. The whole place was somewhat tacky, but it was Lima and Kurt Hummel had learned to deal with that.

"Sorry about that," he said, prompting Kurt to look up again. He had several pamphlets in his hand, and Kurt watched him as he walked over to where he stood again. With a large smile, he held them out to Kurt and started explaining, "This is the information on the theater and well, what we do here. Sometimes our rehearsals are during school, but I'm sure we can work with you…"

"No need," Kurt said, shaking his head. "I, well, don't go to a normal school, so I can practically come in at any time."

The smile on his face got larger, and Kurt wondered if his muscles ever tired of looking so happy. "Awesome! Well, this is the sheet with the information for the auditions for 'A Midsummer's Night's Dream' and then once you get a part; we'll give out information about rehearsal times and show times. We need to work around people's work schedules and stuff, so that usually takes a little bit to get out. Then that last pamphlet is just about our 'Summer Showcase'. We get kind of bored and we want to put a little something together for the people of Lima during the summer without having to do an all-out play, so we just do some select scenes and songs. It's a _big_ hit."

Kurt laughed, before looking through the last pamphlet and smiling. He doubted it was that big of a hit if he had never heard about it, but nevertheless it sounded like fun. How had this place been here the entire time and Kurt had only been half aware of it. He sighed and realized it must have been partially due to the fact that he had been trying to hide himself for a lot of last year, and this year he had been preoccupied. Plus, before now, he had always had Glee Club.

Looking up at him, Kurt nodded and smiled, "Thank you. This is really all sort of new to me, but thanks."

He kept smiling at him, before he held out his hand to him. "Well, I really hope to see you at auditions. I'm Ethan, by the way."

"Hi Ethan," Kurt said, after shifting all the papers he had been given to his other hand and taking his hand to shake it. It felt weird touching someone who wasn't part of his family, seeing as he was always holding hands with the girls in Glee Club, but he obviously wasn't around them much anymore. "I'm Kurt, and I'm pretty sure I'll be coming to the auditions. I have nothing else to do."

Ethan chuckled and smiled back at him, and they stood there for a moment talking about the various plays that had been put on. It was nice to talk to someone who understood, and Kurt for once wasn't thinking about wanting to be somewhere else. He was going to make the best of what he had, even if it meant spending time away from the person who had kept him sane for months. Blaine would understand; after all, it had been Blaine's idea in the first place.

As they parted though and Kurt walked out of the theater, he looked down at the pamphlets and held them to his chest for a moment, feeling a hope that he hadn't felt in quite some time.

* * *

><p>"<em>Ciao<em>!" Alessandra, the waitress called out as she heard the door open. Blaine tried not to grin too wide, although her own lips broke out into a happy smile as soon as she was done getting the table she had been waiting their water and gotten a chance to see it was Blaine who had walked into the little café.

He hadn't been planning on walking into the shop as he strolled through the city, trying to figure out his thoughts. But it was the weekend, and Kurt had sent him a message as he slept telling Blaine that he wasn't going to be around until the later afternoon because he was going to go out to lunch with Rachel, so Blaine was taking advantage of the time he was given to walk around again. It helped him think, and Blaine needed to do that right now.

"_Ciao_," he said, smiling as he sat down by the window as Alessandra came up to him with her order pad. "_Solo caff__è__, per favore."_

"Of course!" Alessandra said in her accented English, giving Blaine a little wink as she walked away. She was a few years older than him, but ever since Blaine had found this place he had been coming in to talk to her and have some coffee. Alessandra had helped him learn the city and taught him all the slang his teachers had left out, and in exchange Blaine taught her English and occasionally serenaded her when there weren't any customers around.

Looking out at the people who walked by, Blaine let out a sigh he had been keeping in for days. He couldn't show Kurt how bad he felt when he was around, and the truth was because he was happy when Kurt was around. Happy didn't even start to describe how Blaine Anderson felt when Kurt was around. It was the high light of his day when he got home and found Kurt was already awake and reading for one of his classes. _With _Kurt, Blaine felt completely fine.

It was when Kurt left, or when Kurt talked about feeling alone while they spoke to each other that Blaine felt his heart tighten. Because Blaine felt alone whenever he wasn't with Kurt, and yet Kurt was basically saying that being around Blaine wasn't enough anymore. But he told himself it wasn't like that, he told himself Kurt was just trying to adjust to the new life that had been thrown at him. Certainly he had felt the same way when he had first arrived in Rome.

But with the extra time they were given, Blaine was milking it for all it was worth. Maybe if Kurt had fun with him, he wouldn't feel so alone, and Blaine knew that he needed to spend as much time with Kurt as he could, because without him it felt like he was just going through the motions. He found movies Kurt hadn't seen yet for them to watch together by sharing screens on Skype, he helped him find monologue choices for his audition in a week, and he even tagged him in random posts just so that they had something more to talk about. Anything to spend time with him. Somewhere along the past couple months, Blaine had grown dependent, but mostly he wanted Kurt around because lately things had…changed.

Even though Blaine had admitted to liking Kurt a few months ago, he hadn't been aware of the extent of his feelings. He wasn't even aware of them right now, but something inside of Blaine had changed, and whenever he met Kurt's eye he felt his heart begin to pound in his chest as a lump grew in his throat from all the words he wanted to say. He had to look away before he said something he wasn't ready for. He had to look away and figure out what _this_ feeling was.

"Here you go," Alessandra said, pulling Blaine out of his thoughts as she sat down across from him and gave him his cup of coffee. Looking around, she leaned forward and whispered, "I need to tell you what happened."

Raising his eyebrows, Blaine took a sip before he smiled at her and leaned back, allowing his thoughts to be pulled away from his feelings for Kurt. "What happened?"

She leaned in more, and Blaine tried to stifle a laugh. She _loved_ to gossip, and although Blaine didn't care at all for it, she meant enough to him for Blaine to put up with it. She had been his friend when he had needed one, and the least he could do for her was sit down and listen to her while enjoying some coffee.

"Do you remember that other guy who worked here? Emilio?"

Blaine nodded as he put his cup down, letting her go on.

Her voice was quiet, but excited as she spoke, "Well, last week the boss caught him stealing money from the cash register. And then he looked back at some of the old security tapes…he'd been doing it for months and no one had noticed!"

"What?" Blaine breathed out, before shaking his head. He let his fingers play with the coffee cup in front of him before he asked in the same whispery tone, "So, was he fired?"

She nodded, before sighing and throwing her arms up into the air, "And now I'm all on my own, working my bones off in this place because no one wants to help out!"

Blaine opened his mouth to tell her it was awful, before someone walked into the shop. She rolled her eyes and mouthed that she'd be back before she walked over to them to take their order. Blaine allowed his mind to slip back into where it had been before.

The truth is, Blaine had been feeling this way about Kurt for some time. He had wanted any little excuse to be around him, wanting to spend every moment with him. But most of all, he felt _different_, and trying to come to terms with what the feeling was killing Blaine. He had a name for it, on the tip of his tongue, and he thought of it every time he saw Kurt smile at him, but it simply made him blush. Blaine wasn't ready for _that_, but he didn't know how else to describe it.

And he had no idea how to tell Kurt that he felt like going back on something he had told him a few months ago.

"Blaine!" Alessandra called out, as she sat down across from him, once again pulling him out of his thoughts. "I had an idea!"

Laughing after he took a sip, trying to be grateful for the fact that she was distracting him, Blaine smiled and said, "And that is?"

Alessandra's fake broke out into an excited smile, and she giggled as she said, taking Blaine's hands in hers. "Work here! You come here all the time anyway, and you can work after school and get money to go out with your friends. I started working here when I was in high school so that my boyfriend didn't have to pay for everything. Don't you have a boyfriend yet?"

Blaine felt his face color at that, and he shook his head as he took a sip to find the right words. He hated how that affected him now. Clearing his throat, he shook his head, "Uh, well, not _yet._" The way he phrased that made Blaine's head swirl, and he sighed before looking at her and adding, "I don't know if I can. Between Warbler practice and fencing, I'm pretty busy afterschool."

With a sigh, Alessandra got up and put her hand on his shoulder. "Well, think about it anyway," she said, with a smile as she went over to get the people their orders.

He felt awful for saying now, but he _couldn't_ work in the afternoons. What if it took his time away from Kurt? He was pathetic, but he needed to spend time with him. And if he stopped going to fencing, his father would kill him, and the Warblers were his closest friends. Working didn't seem like an option for him, and he dropped the thought.

But as he stood up to pay, smiling at her and saying he'd be back again, Blaine's head went back to the thoughts that had been haunting him before. But now her words rang in her head. '_Don't you have a boyfriend yet?'_

His dress shoes hit the cobbled streets and Blaine bit down on his lips. There was one thought he couldn't drop. It was the reason why Blaine wanted to be around Kurt so much, it was the reason why hearing that Kurt felt alone even if they were spending so much time together hurt him so much. It was why Blaine felt suddenly like his whole world depended on someone who lived thousands of miles away, and he wondered for how long he had felt like this. Once upon a time, he had told Kurt that he liked him and hadn't been lying. But he had told him he hadn't been ready for a relationship from so far away. And maybe he still wasn't. But as he walked towards his bus stop to go home, Blaine didn't want to live in a world where he wondered if he _was_ or wasn't ready, because he knew what he wanted.

And that was complete, and total honesty about how he felt for once in his life.


	17. Chapter 17

Author Note: Part 17 has been split into two parts, because it's 6 scenes long. These are the first 3 scenes, and I apologize already for them all being Blaine. Unless you like Blaine as much as I do. Anyway, I know it took a while, but Act 2 won't because I don't have any school and because I really want to write Act 2.

* * *

><p>He couldn't focus. His feet moved effortlessly back as he blocked the strike, waiting for an opening to parry forward, but he wasn't really paying attention. Blaine's hands and feet were moving formulaically and out of instinct; anyone around them could tell he wasn't in the game. Fencing, like chess, was about strategy and playing off your opponent. He had learned that when he had started, his father engraving it into his head after he had yelled at Blaine his first couple of matches that he had lost.<p>

Blaine knew he was supposed to notice that his opponent had his left side completely open. He knew he was supposed to do a flying lunge forward and strike. But he wasn't doing any of those.

It wasn't so much the fact that he couldn't focus as to that he had other things to think about. There were so many things ticking in his head, so many things telling him what to do. He needed to pick a time and day. He needed to pick a method and medium to which to say it. Obviously the most favorable one was out of the question, but Blaine had to work his way around that. He _knew_ that there was a way to make this as perfect as it would be if he could do it the way he wanted to, which would have been preferably in person and through song, possibly somewhere like a mall where he could sneak up on him and serenade him.

But as he took the right of way and parried forward, Blaine frowned to himself underneath his mask. That wasn't how he would do it. That was tacky. He sighed and tried to block the weapon that came towards his chest, only to have it slash across his arm. Blaine groaned with frustration while his opponent cheered as they went back to starting position. Only Blaine's anger wasn't from losing.

His frustration came from the fact that he had no idea how he was going to tell Kurt that somehow in the past couple months his attitude towards what people called "long distance relationships" had changed. Blaine wasn't afraid of them anymore. Where before he had frowned as he thought about all the possibilities for something going wrong, now all he wanted to do was give it a try. He had slowly realized that if he never gave it a shot, he was going to regret it. And love wasn't about regrets. Blaine needed to be spontaneous, and he was taking a leap of faith.

The only problem was, he thought as they both called 'en garde' and got out of position to begin another match, was that he had no idea how he was even going to ask, let alone bring the subject up. His blood ran cold as he thought of the prospect that perhaps Kurt's feelings had changed. His heart raced as he thought of how he could be shot down. And yet with every badly executed parry, Blaine's resolve became stronger even if his nerves increased.

He tried to pay attention to the match, trying to focus on one thing at a time. But as he moved forward slightly to try to parry 4 and strike, Blaine got the idea of possibly doing it by phone. He could call Kurt and sing him a little song before asking him in a soft, shaking voice. A phone call was good; then Kurt couldn't see his face. Blaine didn't even know how he was going to go through with it without giving himself away at once.

Thinking about it made him nervous though, and Blaine felt sick to his stomach as he continued to contemplate how he was going to do this. The match was lost to him, Blaine moving out of instinct as he attempted to calm down. But as long as the fact that he hadn't told Kurt how he felt still loomed over his head, Blaine was going to be nervous. He closed his eyes out of frustration, before feeling the sharp but quick pain of his opponent's weapon hit his chest.

"_Vestiti_!" his coach called out, telling the boys to go get dressed. Blaine could hear his opponent, a senior, snickering as he knew he had won, but beginning his walk to the locker room with some of his friends. There was no reason for them to acknowledge that it had been a good match, because that would have been a lie. Blaine had handed it over to him.

Running his fingers through his hair after he took off his mask, Blaine literally groaned as he grabbed his water bottle and drank from it. His stomach was in knots, and every day that Blaine held himself back from telling the truth was another day spent like _this_. In this hopeless, pathetic daze where he was constantly killing himself over the fact that he only needed to say a few words and all his frustration would go away.

But he didn't have enough courage. He never had enough courage.

"Blaine," he heard a familiar voice call out from behind him, prompting him to turn around and stop feeling sorry for himself.

Placing his water bottle down, Blaine looked around to see Dean smiling wide at him as he walked closer to where Blaine stood. He remembered their date, and sighed as he thought about the conversation that that had prompted. He needed something like that right now. He needed a reason to bring it up.

"Hey," he said, slightly winded and still out of breath despite having already drank something. "What's up?"

Dean shrugged, before he smiled lightly at Blaine and answered, "Not much. My ex and I are together again. Thought I'd tell you after talking about him so much when we went out."

Pretending that didn't hurt him wasn't easy. Pretending that hearing that someone he knew in person was able to be with the person they liked didn't hurt him bothered him. It was juvenile to see it this way, but it didn't seem fair to Blaine. Why did Kurt have to live on the other side of the world? The distance that had never bothered him before was gnawing at his mind.

But Blaine smiled back at him as he grabbed his water bottle his Sabre from the bench he had placed them in. He smiled as if everything were alright. He couldn't let it show that he was distraught. He wanted to be happy for him, after all. However the news just left him with a bitter sweet pain inside his chest.

"That's great," he said, walking forward and smiling at him as they walked to the lockers in tandem. Around them, the rest of the team was already changing, and Blaine did his best to keep his eyes from wandering to the upperclassman that had beaten him. He didn't want to be reminded of just how dazed he had been. Nor did he have any wish to see the smirk that he could only imagine was still on his lips.

Reaching his locker, Blaine mindlessly undid his fencing jacket, slipping out of it and draping his white button down shirt over his shoulders, but not yet buttoning it. He could take a shower when he got home before going online. The less time he spent here, the faster he could catch the bus home.

Once again his fingers were working on their own as Blaine mused over ways to possibly bring _them_ as something more than friends up to Kurt tonight. Maybe he didn't have to just announce it. Maybe they could somehow ease into the subject, allowing Blaine to tell Kurt everything. Why couldn't it come organically? Why did Blaine have to make a moment of it? Kurt and he weren't about big events, and he didn't see why what he could only hope was the start of their relationship couldn't continue on in that fashion. A grin spread on his lips as he thought to himself.

It was the first time he had smiled all practice, knowing that he had finally figured it out. Suddenly, beating himself up over this seemed silly. He had nothing to worry about. This was Kurt he was thinking about. Kurt knew him, and Kurt would forgive him if he made a little mistake. It didn't have to be perfect; it just had to be honest.

Filled with a renewed sense of courage, Blaine stepped out of his white fencing pants and grabbed for his school pants when he a felt someone looming over him. He didn't need to look up to know whose shoes those were though, and he simply glanced up and let their eyes meet as he looked up at Dean. "Yes?" Blaine asked, flashing him a smile as he zipped up his pants.

Dean leaned up against the lockers, his body facing Blaine's. It took him a moment to speak, his eyes locked on the two underclassmen changing in the corner. As they left, Dean leaned forward and dropped his voice as he said, answering, "I actually wanted to talk to you about something else."

Blaine's mind went to a dark place, and he was forced out of his happy state. Blinking, he leaned in closer and whispered, making sure no one could hear him, "Are you okay?"

But the reaction he got wasn't what he had been expecting. Blaine's mind rushed to think of all the problems Dean could be going through. He searched for a reason as to why Dean would need to talk to him, and yet Trent was standing there, looming over him, and _laughing._

"I don't get it," Blaine said, practically pouting as he waited for Dean to settle down. Moments like these were when he wished he wasn't so oblivious to everything.

Shaking his head though, Dean straightened up before he smiled down at Blaine. He was still chuckling, but he wasn't laughing at him anymore. He took in a breath, before he said, "No, don't worry. I'm completely fine. I just wanted to ask you if our coach has come up to you and talked to you about something."

Blaine buttoned his shirt as Dean spoke, before he shook his head and answered, "No? What is it?"

There was another pause, and Blaine wondered what was wrong. Obviously there was something he wasn't saying, and although his heart was currently racing at the thought of what was going to happen once he got home, he couldn't shake his curiosity as he looked up at Dean. But he had moved back to his things, and Blaine watched as he pulled out a peice of paper. From where he stood, it didn't look like there was anything on it that was special, just normal printed letters. He frowned, and waited for him to say something as he walked back to Blaine's locker and sat down on the bench in front of him. He held out the paper to Blaine and said nothing.

He took it hesitantly, not sure what to make of it. His eyes scanned over the paper, and Blaine took in a breath as he read the big white header:

**Dalton International Academy Summer Fencing Program **

Furrowing his eyebrows, Blaine glanced up again at Dean who was smiling at him. He blinked, before he handed the paper back, "What about it? Are you going to do it? I really think you should do it."

Apparently he had said something funny that he missed, because as soon as he took the paper back from Blaine, he was chuckling. But Dean nodded as he looked at the paper, answering Blaine's question, "I'm already going, actually. It really competitive and you have to fill out an application to go and then be selected after a screening, but it's supposed to be one of the best programs available. Coach hasn't really told anyone about it because he knows the guys will claw each other's eyes out for the spots. But he told me to talk to guys who I think would be good for it..."

Blaine smiled as he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to tame is slightly now that it had fallen out of the gel a bit. He glanced at Dean and said, "That's great. Who else were you thinking about asking?" He was flattered that Dean thought he was interested in fencing enough to apply, but Blaine knew in his heart that he could think of at least five things he would rather do all summer than fence. Fencing, although he enjoyed it, wasn't something he wanted to get too attached to. Or else his father would start _thinking_, and that was the last thing that Blaine needed.

"Just a few guys, like Dante and Lucas," Dean said, without much conviction. Moving back to his locker which wasn't too far from Blaine's, he added, "So, what do you say?"

He hated saying no, but Blaine knew he had to be somewhat honest. Sighing, he looked up at him and smiled apologetically as he said, "Well, I'll have to talk to my parents about it."

Dean simply nodded as he started to get dressed. Blaine felt bad, but he couldn't say he would go. Things like that cost money, and Blaine wasn't going to go asking his father. The company wasn't at its best, he knew that, and there was no way he was going to encourage his father's idea that he was going to be going to university on a fencing scholarship.

Blaine finished fixing his hair, before he leaned down to start collecting his things to leave and head home. But Dean's voice stopped him as he added nonchalantly, "It'll be cool to visit the states again, though."

Halfway to the door, Blaine paused as he heard him. He blinked, before he turned around and asked, coughing to clear his throat because it had suddenly become very dry, "It's in the states?"

He watched as Dean nodded and Blaine's heart stilled. His heartbeat, like a drum in his ear, was loud and echoed inside of his head. Blaine stood there, frozen, as Dean moved forward with the same flyer and handed it to Blaine.

"Just think about it, okay?"

His fingers trembled as he took the paper, thanking him silently as he headed out the door. The walk from the lockers to his bus ride was long, and Blaine would have plenty of time to read the paper a good dozen times. But honey eyes glanced over the flyer once again, until they locked on the sentence:

'The program will be held in none other than the second oldest Dalton Academy International School , located in Westerville, _Ohio, _U.S_.'_

* * *

><p>"I can't use Shakespeare to audition for a play of his, Blaine," Kurt said, rolling his eyes but laughing at him at the same time.<p>

It was like every other afternoon/morning that they were together. Kurt had had just enough time to shower and get ready for his classes while Blaine made his commute home and showered as well. Blaine hadn't even bothered to dry his hair, instead allowing it to dry and curl as they spoke; unaware of what it was doing to Kurt. But then again, Blaine was much too distracted to even care about his hair.

The flyer stared at him from where he had placed it on his desk. The conversation he had to have with Kurt loomed over his head. The confession he was dying to make plaguing him. There were hundreds of things swirling in his head, not to mention a plan that he knew was too crazy for him to even consider going through with. But it made something that had seemed impossible _very_ possible.

His hair was the last of his worries.

But he smiled as Kurt spoke, not caring about anything. His head that was racing with plans simply stopped as soon as he heard his laugh. Plans could wait a few hours while he marveled at him. Blaine was happy, and seeing Kurt happy as well made him believe that anything was possible now.

He shook his head and said, "Not if you do Mercutio's Queen Mab speech. It's a classic and it'll show you have a mastery of the language. And it's about fairies, what better monologue could you do for a play about fairies?"

Kurt wasn't convinced though, and Blaine smiled as Kurt simply shook his head. The light shone into his room brilliantly and Blaine was happy for that. He could see him clearly, and it sucked that he knew he himself was in awful lighting. But if Kurt had anything against it, he didn't say anything.

"I just want to impress them," Kurt said, sighing though. He looked at Blaine, their eyes meeting, and he shrugged, "I'm nervous because I've never _really_ done a play before. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all Blaine…"

Shaking his head, Blaine looked down before he leaned forward and met Kurt's eyes from across the screen. He wanted nothing more than to hold his hand right now. To squeeze it and make him feel better. He wondered how his hands felt, if they really were as soft as they looked. He wondered if it was bigger than his, if Kurt's fingers were long an elegant next to his callused ones from fencing. He bit his lip and sighed before he said, "Everyone has their first play though. Even Patty Lupone had her first play once. You're going to do fine, even if you just get one of the actors doing Pyramus and Thisbe."

That made Kurt laugh, and Blaine smiled at the small victory that swelled his heart with pride. "I'd be an excellent Thisbe, if the worst comes," Kurt said, with a shrug.

Blaine rested his head on him palm and stared at him for a moment. It was silent, and he had no idea that Kurt was wondering what was wrong with him as he stared. Blaine was too lost, and he knew he was practically giving himself away. But there was so much he knew that Kurt didn't, and it was eating him up. Watching Kurt do the most mundane things like shrugging had its own beauty he had never noticed before, and he wondered how he had ever missed it.

"I think you'd be excellent in any part," Blaine said quickly, shrugging before he looked away and down at the flyer sitting.

"And I think you and my father are a little too bias to talk," Kurt said, and Blaine didn't even need to look up to hear the way Kurt was rolling his eyes. He could just imagine Burt now, smiling proudly as he heard that Kurt was going to be auditioning for something. The few times Blaine had met him had told him enough about Burt to know—not to mention the countless times Blaine had heard Kurt talk about his father—that he was proud of Kurt literally no matter what. But Blaine did look up as he heard a yawn, watching as Kurt covered his mouth, his eyes closed as he fell back into his computer chair.

His voice was filled with concern as he asked, not tearing his eyes away from him, "Not getting enough sleep?"

It took Kurt a minute to respond. Blaine watched as he picked up the laptop and walked the short distance from his desk to his bed. It was funny that although Blaine had never even set foot into Kurt's room, he knew it well. But then Blaine knew it was pretty much all he really knew of Kurt's house, aside from that one time Kurt had taken him down to the kitchen to speak to his father. That thought upset him.

Finally getting on the bed, Kurt shook his head before yawning again this time as he leaned back against his pillows. Their eyes met, and Blaine could see the glossy, almost sleepy look in Kurt's as he looked back at him. "After I forced you to go to bed last night, I remembered I was behind on my reading and I have my class today at 1, I think. I'm still trying to get used to this weird schedule. I spent the whole night reading and annotating and then I got up early to talk to you…"

"You should take a nap," Blaine interrupted, sad to utter those words if only because they had just started talking an hour ago. Still, he knew there was time. There was always time, and right now his nerves were telling him that today, although he had been so bent on it being the perfect day for him to do this. "The last thing you need is to be tired for your classes."

Kurt noticed the irony in that statement and laughed, and Blaine couldn't help but smile. Blaine was the one who never got any sleep out of the two of them. In fact, if it weren't for Kurt forcing him to sleep every night, Blaine was convinced he would practically never go to sleep.

"And it's not like you're helping me find that monologue I need for tomorrow," Kurt said, yawning again, leaning further back into the pillows and running his hands through his hair. It looked wonderfully soft today. He winked at Blaine, indicating that he was teasing him, but that didn't stop Blaine's heart from leaping from the action nevertheless.

Blaine had a feeling he was going to protest and say he was okay, but instead he watched as Kurt shifted again, this time placing the laptop down on the bed instead of his lap. He laid down, tucking his hand underneath on of his pillows as he sighed and said sleepily, "A nap actually sounds pretty good right now. At least a short one. Can you just promise to wake me up in an hour and a half?"

Their eyes met, and Blaine looked at the small smile on Kurt's lips. He licked his, trying to stop his thoughts from going somewhere he actually didn't want them to. Or maybe he did, and that was why he didn't want to admit it. Now wasn't exactly the right moment to picture himself kissing those lips, however softly he did want to. He was getting himself into a mess bigger than the one inside of his head.

"Yeah, I can absolutely do that," Blaine answered finally, his voice soft as he nodded, watching Kurt and not letting his eyes drop from his as Kurt's own closed.

It was amazing the way Kurt had warmed up to him. It was amazing the way he had warmed up to Kurt. There were guys that he had known here for two years that he still hadn't told about his beating freshman year, and yet he had been able to tell Kurt. In just a few months, he'd been able to tell him about one of the darkest times in his life, and although Blaine still wasn't honest about his relationship with his father, he had never been like this with anyone else.

And then there was Kurt. He remembered how they had been at first. He remembered how hesitant Kurt had been to say some things about himself that were too personal when they had first started talking. He remembered how they had moved their way from tumblr asks onto Skype, until Blaine had finally called and heard Kurt's voice. Blaine knew how hard it had been for Kurt to start opening up to him, but his heart literally warmed as he realized just how much Kurt had showed to him that he had probably never showed anyone else before. He had opened himself up to Blaine, and yes it had taken a while, but Blaine had gotten him to be completely honest. Slowly. Even if they were _just_ friends, Blaine knew it was so much more than that. He knew that the boy who had closed his eyes on webcam was so much more than just his friend.

"Sleep well, Kurt," Blaine whispered, getting ready to close Skype and call him back to wake him up in an hour.

With a groan, Kurt shook his head just in time. Blaine's finger hovered over his mouse, ready to press down and close the call. But then Kurt spoke, his voice small as he whispered, "Don't go yet. Wait until I'm asleep."

Blaine chuckled a bit, biting his lip at how completely adorable he was being. And the worst part as that he was more than sure Kurt had no idea how adorable he was too. With a smile though, he nodded and whispered back, "I'll stay here until you're asleep."

A small smile spread onto Kurt's lips, and Blaine couldn't help but sigh as he leaned back in his seat. Opening another window, Blaine allowed Kurt to fall asleep as he scrolled down through his dash. He figured he could always bring up what he had wanted later, when Kurt was a bit more awake. That way they could talk about it better, which was what Blaine wanted. He was able to reblog a quote from The Hunger Games before he heard a distant and muffled chuckle.

Opening his Skype window again, he saw it was Kurt and wondered if he had fallen asleep and was now simply…sleeping laughing. But then he opened his mouth and answered Blaine's question, "Blaine, stay here but don't just sort of sit there. Could you talk to me while I fall asleep or at least do something?"

It was Blaine's turn to laugh, and he smiled as he heard Kurt's own laugh join his. Nodding though, he looked at Kurt as he answered, "Yeah, yeah of course. I can talk."

But the problem was that now he had no idea what to say. Blaine had never had a problem talking to Kurt or finding something to talk about, but there was only one thing that was pressing on his mind. Blaine told himself he couldn't bring it up. Yet as he sat there and allowed himself to look at Kurt's sleeping face for a moment longer than he should have, he didn't see why he couldn't.

"You know, I was wondering," he started, clearing his throat slightly as he looked down, burying his face in his hands as much as he could, but talking loud enough so Kurt could still hear him. "About what would happen if I were able to go to Ohio."

"You'd be in Ohio," Kurt said, mumbling slightly and causing Blaine to raise the volume on his headphones so he could hear him properly.

Shaking his head, he sighed heavily. This wasn't going to be easy, but he had already started. Blaine swallowed hard and tried to collect himself. There were words for this somewhere, but he couldn't find them. All he had to do was tell Kurt what he was feeling, but there was no easy way to tell someone that. Blaine froze and ran his fingers through his now dry hair as he attempted to get a grip on what he was going to say, glad that Kurt had his eyes closed.

"That's not what I mean," Blaine said, calmly and almost sounding shy as he spoke in a hushed tone. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his feelings and thoughts and not get too carried away. "I meant what would happen if I were able to visit you. You know, if I were able to see you in person…"

Kurt hummed softly, but interrupted Blaine nevertheless, "You'd see me in person, that's what would happen." His voice was tiny, and he yawned in between words, and Blaine had a sneaking suspicion that Kurt wasn't really aware of what he was saying at all. He had to have wondered what would happen. After all, they had talked about this before once, whispering whimsical thoughts of what Blaine would do if Kurt came to Rome, telling all the places he'd take him. He couldn't be the only one who thought of more now. Who thought of all the things they could do if they were together in person. Blaine couldn't be alone in wishing he was watching Kurt fall asleep from next to him in his bed and not next to him from Rome via a laptop. It was hard for him not to get aggravated, but Blaine knew that was the last thing that could help this situation.

"But what if I was to tell you that there's a chance I could actually go? What would it mean to us if I told you that the chances of us actually meeting are kind of high? Don't you think that we'd be able to..." Blaine voice was dry as he stopped, his breath short from nerves and the fact that all of a sudden he had no idea what he was saying. What was too much and when had he gone too far? He cleared his throat, swallowing at an attempt to wet his throat as he continued, "Wouldn't it make a difference for _us_?"

What Blaine had been trying to say but was failing, was that wouldn't being near each other change what they were? Blaine had once said it was the fact that they were so far away that was keeping him from being Kurt's boyfriend, afraid of screwing it up and then losing Kurt completely. Because they were hanging from a thread; one cut from one side and the line that connected them could be severed forever. All Kurt had to do was stop talking to Blaine and they could very easily never hear from each other again. It had happened once, for a few days. Blaine shuddered at the memory as he sighed and waited for a response that would never come.

Wouldn't the possibility of being closer to each other make _anything_ different?

The reply he got from Kurt was soft, and practically inaudible enough for Blaine to swear he was making it up. Looking up from where he had buried his face in his hands, Blaine stared at Kurt as he whispered, "Can you just sing to me? Like before?"

Blaine's heart tightened and he felt a soft tear roll down his cheek that he promptly brushed away. He wasn't crying because he had lost his chance, but because he knew that even if he couldn't go see Kurt despite the fact that the flyer was _very_ real, he still wanted _them_. He wanted them in any way, even if it meant from a distance. Even if it meant not being able to see Kurt until they could afford the tickets themselves. But that didn't mean Blaine wasn't going to try. He had a plan and he was sticking to it.

Nodding although Kurt couldn't see him, Blaine smiled sadly and whispered into the still air in his room, thousands of miles away from Kurt's own, "Of course."

* * *

><p>He wondered why it had taken them so long to download the 'What's up' app onto their phones as he walked down the crowded streets of Rome. Blaine knew that Kurt was sleeping, but he also knew he had asked permission from his professors if he could miss today in order to go to his auditions. There was no getting home and seeing Kurt online today until much later, and just like any other love sick idiot, it pained his heart to know that. But he wasn't the important one today.<p>

His fingers moved over the keyboard of his phone, the Blackberry's keys responsive to his touch as he typed out a message. It was the least he could do until he got a call from Kurt, which Kurt had assured him he would get yesterday to help calm him down before he walked out onto the stage. They were both buying calling cards, and although they could always buy more, every minute they had was precious.

"You're going to kill it, I know it. Break a leg, or two, if you need to!"

Blaine debated putting a little heart, but shook his head as he stuffed his phone into the pockets of his uniform pants. He had a few hours to kill before Kurt would see that text, although he had a sneaking suspicion Kurt was going to be waking up early either way to spend hours getting ready. Chuckling as he pictured him fussing while he washed his face and stared at this closet, deciding that nothing was right although Blaine knew that Kurt would look fine in anything he had, Blaine sighed happily as he thought of Kurt. But he sighed still, because it was just about the only thing he was able to do right now.

His plans of telling him the truth had been stopped. Yet Blaine was somehow fine with that. The last thing he wanted to do was give him and Kurt false hope. It wasn't until things were clearer that he was going to make up his mind and tell Kurt his plan and everything that came with it. Because right now it was nothing more than just a silly plan, a silly and slightly dangerous plan.

Closing his eyes for a moment as he thought about what could go wrong; Blaine made his way through the crowds of tourists gaping up at one of the many old buildings. On a normal day, Blaine would have tagged along for a few minutes, trying to figure out something new about his city that the tour guide had to say. But today wasn't a normal day. Today was the day Blaine was going to lay down the first part of his plan.

Operation: Get a job.

The application was all filled out. He had done it while Kurt slept, after he had closed the laptop lid and set an alarm for when to call Kurt to wake him up. His pen shook as he filled it out, reminding himself as to why he was doing it and knowing it was for a good reason. It was for the best reason. The fact that everything was changing still scared the crap out of him.

But Blaine needed to get a job. The fencing program cost $3,000 and although he knew his father would gladly give over the money if he knew Blaine wanted to go. However, Blaine didn't want to go. The program was just what he was going to show his father. The program was his cover. He would tell him that he got a scholarship. He would smile as his father hugged him and congratulated him. He would smile as he gave him his blessing to go to the states and fence for a good part of the summer. He would smile as his heart broke from the fact that he knew he was going to be lying.

Blaine was going to get a job to pay for the plane ticket, also something he had done while Kurt had taken his nap. Flying out near the middle of June was high season, which made the tickets more expensive, but if Blaine started working for the money now, he could buy the ticket early and still have enough money to spend while he was there. Which he fully intended to by taking Kurt out.

His heart felt heavy as he thought about it. This plan was supposed to make everything feel better actually just made him feel worse. One false move and it didn't end up working. Blaine could lose the job, or not get it in the first place, and he wouldn't be able to go. Of course, he had thought about asking his father for the money to the program and actually going, but he was dreading spending the summer in an intensive fencing program in which he would only get Sunday free. And he had looked up the location of the Dalton located in Westerville on Google Maps in relation to Lima. _Two hours apart._ Compared to right now, two hours was a godsend, but Blaine would only resort to that plan, his backup plan, in case of an emergency. Provided he was selected for the program, of course.

Everything had a catch.

Blaine rounded the corner onto the street the café was on, and smiled as he opened the door, welcomed by the smell of coffee and bread. It was like coming home, and he was aware of how ridiculous that sounded.

"Buon giorno," Blaine said in Italian as he walked up to the counter. His heart was beating, and he tried to calm himself down. Blaine was good at appearing more confident than he really was. He did it every day.

The owner, a tall middle aged man with thinning black, looked up as he grabbed someone's order of breads at Blaine. Raising an eyebrow as he walked behind the counter and smiled at the mother and son sitting at one of the tables as he brought them their order, he asked, "What is it?"

Blaine licked hips lips nervously, before he opened his messenger bag to pull out the application form. His hands were trembling, and he told himself to calm down. _This is for Kurt_, he told himself, nodding as he took out the paper. For Kurt and for himself.

With a charming smile, the best one he had in his repertoire, Blaine handed him the application and said, "I'd like to work here."

The man looked him over for a moment, before glancing at the application. He didn't respond for a moment, and Blaine shifted on the balls of his feet as he waited, smiling at the little kid as he looked around and noticed he was staring. Looking back, Blaine bit the inside of his cheek while he glanced at the man's stern face.

Clearing his throat, he looked down at Blaine and nodded. His voice was low as he answered, completely toneless, "I'll contact you when I'm making the decision."

Blaine nodded and smiled curtly at him, bowing his head and wishing him a good day as he walked out of the shop without even asking for the coffee he had been wanting. His heart was in his throat, and Blaine felt like he was going to throw up. He was shaking, but it was done. It was done and he had gotten that step over with. He clutched at his stomach and took deep breaths.

This was what courage felt like. He'd never been brave before, but if there was one reason to start being brave, it was for Kurt. Kurt had already done so much, and Blaine needed to be rid of the lump in his throat that rose every time he let his father yell at him without saying a word. He was going to get rid of that.

He held his head higher as his brown leather oxfords hit the old cobblestones. Maybe he'd walk around the city as he waited for his phone to buzz. Blaine could go somewhere else for his coffee, watching the people as he debated how he was going to execute the second, and by far the hardest part of his plan.

Operation: Tell the truth.


	18. Chapter 17 Act 2

** Authors Note: **I know, you guys are about ready to murder me, aren't you? I promise I have a good reason for not writing, and it's basically been because my confidence in my writing and everything else I did diminished a lot after a project I did. Bad excuse, but it's been a series of insecurities after another mixed in with busy weeks.

Plus, I think I was nervous for what was coming up. I mean…this is a big chapter. I wasn't sure I could deliver it the way I wanted to… Let's just hope I didn't screw up!

* * *

><p>"I can't do this."<p>

His voice was trembling, his boots hitting the concrete outside of the community theater hard as he paced back and forth. Kurt held his phone to his ear, trying not to start crying because at any moment they were going to call his name and he was going to have to perform his monologue. Three people he didn't know were going to be judging him. He'd had enough judgment already this year alone, but this time he was seeking it out. His only fear as he spoke to his father was that they were going to tell him he wasn't good enough.

That's all anyone ever said to him.

"Kurt," his father said, his voice calm as if trying to get Kurt to settle down. "You've been practicing this for days with Blaine, with me, with yourself while you baked those little lemon squares. Trust me, kid, you're good. You've got it memorized and there's no reason for you to be freaking out."

Shaking his head, Kurt sighed heavily. His free hand flailed up into the air as he said, "That's not the point. What if I get the acting wrong? What if they don't actually believe the emotion? What if there's a fire backstage and they forget my performance completely because all they remember is the fact that their theater could have burned down? What if the theater _actually _burns down!"

His voice got higher as he spoke, his breathing speeding up until he had to clutch at his stomach to calm himself down.

"Wow there! Stop," Burt interrupted in a strong, almost borderline commanding tone. "Nothing is going to burn down. And you don't have to worry about the acting. Next to Rachel you've got to be one of the most overdramatic people I've ever met."

All Kurt could do was breathe out a sigh and look out at the parking lot as he leaned against the white, outer wall of the theater. Even though he had called Blaine before driving here, his nerves had only escalated as he watched a few people walk in and then out of the theater. Kurt had wondered how he would look like walking out of there. Was he going to join the ones with the happy, overjoyed faces who felt like they owned their auditions? Or was he going to be one of the miserable ones on the verge of tears because they had stumbled over their lines or done something else that had been completely wrong?

His stomach tightened at the thought, before he groaned out and said in a mumble, "I really hope you mean that in a good way. Overdramatic isn't as good as subtle acting."

Practically hearing his father roll his eyes, Kurt sucked in his bottom lip. Someone walked through the door, and Kurt nodded his head as they walked by, feeling discomforted by the way they were staring at the ground. This wasn't going to get any better, and part of him felt like he was walking straight into a dead end.

"You're going to do fine," Burt said, pulling Kurt out of his dark thoughts and into the very real present.

His words were meant to comfort, and Kurt was trying to take them in because he knew his father cared, but his head wasn't listening. This was the first time he had really auditioned for anything outside of Glee club. Those people sitting in those seats weren't his friends. Everything inside him said he was going to mess it up, and yet Kurt knew that the moment he went back inside and they called his name; he was going to walk onto that stage proudly.

Nerves and all.

With a little nod, he smiled to himself as he ran his fingers over his hair for a moment. "Yeah. I'll try to remember that," he said, his voice calmer now as he leaned off the wall and walked towards the glass doors. Inside he could see the others like him who were waiting for their names to be called, and suddenly from outside he could see that they were just as nervous as he was. Kurt looked at their faces and recognized the unease in their eyes because it looked a lot like the blue ones staring back at him through his reflection on the glass doors.

And suddenly he felt just a little less alone.

"I'm going to go in now," Kurt said, a smile appearing on his face despite the butterflies still fluttering inside him like swarming bees. "They should be calling my name any minute now, so I think I'm going to go back inside. I'll call you after."

As he opened the door, his heart warmed just as bit as he heard his father wish him good luck. Even if he didn't feel like he could do it, Kurt knew he could. He had to, after making it this far.

The air conditioning blew into Kurt's face as he walked in, pocketing his phone as he made his way towards the few chairs in the far left now that they were open. His heart felt lighter, although it still weighed down on him like a golden bar as he sat up straight in his seat when he saw the doors open again.

His hear stopped as he saw the middle aged woman look down at her list and call out a name that wasn't his. He took a moment to breathe again, slumping in his seat a bit. Leaning forward, Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, trying to convince his heart to stop beating so rapidly. He needed to survive this afternoon; he was determined to.

"Something up?" a voice from above him said and for a moment Kurt thought it was in his head before he realized his distantly remembered it.

Looking up, he blinked up at Ethan who was smiling down at him with his hands in his pockets. Kurt had actually forgotten he was going to be here, seeing as he had been the last person on his mind these past couples days. Between rehearsing, cooking, studying and talking to Blaine, he hadn't had time to think about a random guy he had met who had helped him find this play.

He nodded though, before shrugging a bit although he instantly sat up straight again. "Nothing," Kurt said, sucking in his lips as he kept nodding up at him. Pointing at the door, he continued, "Just kind of waiting for them to call my name, I guess."

Ethan nodded in understanding before he moved to sit next to him. Kurt shifted his body to somewhat face his, although he wasn't sure if he was going to keep talking or not. Their eyes met, and Ethan's lips pulled into a wide smile before he said, "I'm glad you turned up. We usually don't have too many younger people in the plays, so it's good because it'll make it more believable. Since the young lovers are supposed to be teenagers, at least."

With a short chuckle, Kurt raised an eyebrow and looked down somewhat, before he said underneath his breath, "If I get one of those parts."

Kurt knew it was silly to be so nervous, but he couldn't help it. Even if this was amateur theater, there were plenty of people auditioning who had more experience than he did. Ethan sitting next to him did, and he frowned as he noticed the paper on his lap that he had filled out and been carrying around with him as he waited for them to call out his name said nothing but the Glee Club performance of Rocky Horror earlier this year.

"You probably will," Ethan said, shrugging as Kurt looked over at him. With a smile, he held out his hand and cocked his head to the side, "Do you mind if I look over your form?"

He frowned for a second, before shaking his head and handing it over to him. Kurt felt strange at first, but realized there was no harm to be done. He felt exposed, even if he knew that people were going to be looking at it either way.

Taking out his phone, he checked his messages and bit his lip as he saw Blaine's message saying he was going to be back in a bit since he had to shower after fencing and then eat. Kurt tried (once again) not to let his mind go to the place it usually went when he read Blaine was doing something and tried to picture him, because picturing Blaine in the shower was something Kurt wasn't going to do, let alone in public.

"Kurt?" Ethan asked, forcing Kurt out of his head as he shot his neck up to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"It looks fine," he said, with a nod, offering Kurt a small smile. "I mean, you left it very open by saying you'd even work backstage, but I guess they'll like your enthusiasm. You don't have to worry as long as your audition goes well."

Smiling at him, Kurt nodded and took the form out of his hands. He thanked him, but something inside of him was still worried. All of this was too nerve wrecking for him to be consoled by just a few words, even if it did come from someone with actual experience.

Kurt cleared his throat, before glancing over at him and saying, "Well, I hope your audition went well."

The smile that spread over Ethan's lips was cocky, and Kurt found himself extremely put off by it. He had enough of Rachel Berry's ego, and this guy was trying to compete with it. Putting his hand over his chest, Ethan kept smiling as he said, "It was perfect. Of course, I only put down Puck and Lysander for who I wanted to be, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to get Puck. I have the most experience here, so it's obvious I'm going to get the lead."

He could only nod slowly as he bit his lip to keep himself from saying something that was too mean, although Kurt was sure the look of disapproval on his face could be read easily. The only egotism he could stand was his own, and that only came when he was speaking about fashion or certain musicals.

"And I bet you will," Kurt said through gritted teeth as he half smiled at him civilly. Only he could tell Ethan wasn't exactly reading the slight disapproval off Kurt. He was glad to see that, because the last thing he needed was to get off on the wrong foot in this new world.

Ethan opened his mouth to speak and Kurt waited to hear what he could possibly have to say next, before his head whirled over to the door as it opened out of reflex. The person who had entered stepped out, and the woman looked down at her paper to announce the next name.

Watching her lips form letters as she spoke, Kurt was too shocked to actually _hear _her. The only sound to reach his ears was the pounding of his heart, like thunder, rattling his ribcage until he shook like a scared cat. The white room suddenly became brighter and fuzzier, as if everything lost its focus as his eyes settled onto her lips.

Kurt felt like he was going to faint as he watched her mouth form the letters of his name. A rough K followed by a soft U. His heart kept pounding. Her lips curled around the R, taking her time with it as Kurt swore the room began to spin. Finally she formed a sharp, thick T, and Kurt got up slowly to start walking over to her. He just hoped his knees wouldn't give out in the process.

His nails dug into his palm as he walked; his last name nothing but a blur as he made his way over to her on steady feet. The door slammed shut behind him, and Kurt took a deep breath as he took the next step bravely forward.

* * *

><p>His fingers trembled as he tied the bowtie onto his neck and turned it around. Blaine looked at himself in the mirror; he watched his hands straighten his bowtie before he fixed his collar. It was almost as if he were on autopilot, watching himself do these things without really feelings himself do them. He knew it was because of the nerves, the nerves that hadn't really left his stomach for days. They were present in everything he did now, ever since he had decided to go ahead with his.<p>

Blaine was afraid he looked too cheesy, afraid he looked stupid and Kurt was going to end up laughing at him the entire time. Their styles of dressing were so different, and Kurt had really only ever seen him in his uniform and his pajamas. But Blaine had decided he wanted to look his best while he did this; he just wasn't sure if his best was good enough for Kurt's standards.

It was crazy that he was doing this. It was stupid of him to just assume that Kurt felt the same way he had in February. But then again, Kurt had put himself out on a limb when he had told Blaine he liked him, and it was wrong to hold back from saying the same thing if only because he was scared. It was the first step towards what he could only hope was a lot of things, but Blaine wasn't going to get too carried away with his hoping.

He looked at mirror again, trying to calm down as he checked if his hair looked alright. It was slicked down again after his shower, and while he would usually just run a bit of pomade through his hair after his shower for when he spoke to Kurt later simply because he didn't want it to look too unruly, he had smoothed it down completely today. He ran a comb through his hair to get everything down, or perhaps as just as an excuse to prolong moving on to his laptop.

Blaine took in a deep breath, trying to calm the shaking of his body as he did. Dark honey eyes looked at him in the mirror, and Blaine stared back at himself. He searched for something in his eyes that told him he needed to stop. He looked for that part inside of him that knew this was going to fail and found nothing. Yes, he was nervous, but Blaine Anderson didn't want to not go through with this.

"You can do this," he said in a hushed tone, smiling at himself lightly as he stepped out of the bathroom.

The sun was setting over the city, and Blaine just hoped it didn't make everything seem too overly orange on his camera, although that was almost always the case. He crossed the space from his bathroom to his room, and sat down at his desk in front of his laptop that was on standby. Taking in a deep breath, Blaine literally had to reassure himself that this wasn't something he would end up regretting.

And how could he regret this? If everything went according to plan, Kurt would finally know how Blaine felt. Blaine would finally be honest with him, and they could try to figure things out together as to how they were going to meet. They could move past the giggles and guessing of feelings and onto something else. Because although Blaine could live with waiting a little longer to see Kurt, he knew he wanted to see him as soon as possible. He was past the fear of long distance, but now that his feelings had escalated, Blaine knew he wanted to know what it felt like to _really_ be around Kurt.

However, if it didn't go according to plan, Blaine would end up looking like a fool. But it wasn't fair that he wasn't being honest. He told himself that either way, confessing how he felt was going to make him feel better. Licking his lips slowly, he kept reassuring himself that there was going to be something positive out of this.

His laptop finished loading, and Blaine sucked in a breath as he opened his recording software on his laptop. Maybe it was stupid the way he was going to go about this, but it reminded him of when Kurt and he had first started talking. He smiled softly, chuckling as he remembered that night that he had sleepily stumbled into the _Wicked_ tag only to see a video posted by someone with an Audrey Hepburn icon saying that they were sorry for butchering the song. Something had compelled Blaine to press play though and not continue scrolling past and it had been the best decision of his life. Blaine hadn't even hesitated to tell Kurt how wonderful he had sounded, and that message had started all of this.

So maybe a video really wasn't the worst idea ever.

He looked down at the script lying beside his desk, before sighing because he knew it by memory. It was pathetic for him to realize that he had actually gone through the trouble of writing a script when he was 99.9 percent sure he was going to forget the entire thing once the light on his laptop turned on and indicated that his camera was recording. Blaine knew that everything he had wanted to say was going to get jumbled up in his head and that there was basically no reason for him to worry because it was going to be a train wreck either way.

Blaine just hoped he could make it onto a charming train wreck, if only so that Kurt didn't laugh at him the entire time. With a nod, he moved his curser over the button that said start recording, but didn't press play. He breathed for a moment, not because he was having doubts but because he physically couldn't breathe right then. His breathing was labored, and he told himself to calm down because if he kept feeling like this he was going to end up fainting from lack of oxygen.

It was like a performance, and soon those jitters would leave and Blaine would feel energetic and pumped up because of them. He waited for that moment, trying to prepare himself much in a similar way by taking in a deep, long breath. Only he didn't picture the audience smiling as he sang. It was Kurt's face smiling at him as he spoke that he imagined in his head, and he almost felt sad that he couldn't see Kurt's face as he watched the video. Closing his eyes, he let out that breath slowly. Blaine felt his heart start to quiet down, although the blood in his veins was still warm and rushing. But the mood inside of him changed, and he pressed down on his left finger, causing the cursor to press record.

* * *

><p>Four hours and all Kurt had gotten out of his massive shopping trip with himself were two bags of clothes, one which just had one scarf in it. But it wasn't his fault that everything he liked hadn't been in his size or that with spring just around the corner all the winter clothing was already leaving and he was left shopping through the scraps of what was left. Usually he was able to deal with that, but frustration and nerves wasn't a good combination of feelings to shop with.<p>

Of course, the shopping was supposed to have calmed him down, and even if it had made him happy as he ran his fingers over the lush fabrics at the many stores he had entered, Kurt was still nervous. It was a different sort of nervous than he had felt the day before at the audition. It was that type of nervousness that stayed with you no matter what you did. The type that settled at the bottom of your stomach, but let you go about your day only to surprise you later when you had nothing else to occupy your time with.

Which was exactly why Kurt had decided to go shopping in the first place. And although he had turned up a bit shorter than he would have hoped, it had been worth it.

"Someone's home late," Kurt heard his father say as he walked through the front door.

Shaking his head as he took off his boots, Kurt walked into the living room and looked at his father who sat on their couch with an arm around Carole. He smiled at the scene, ignoring the empty feeling his heart got whenever he saw a happy couple and just let their ease warm him. "Last time I checked, it was still light outside. It's Saturday too. You just think I'm late because you had a shorter shift at the garage," Kurt answered as he leaned against the archway that connected the main hallway with the living room.

Burt nodded, but didn't tear his eyes away from the television screen. It took him a moment to speak, and he finally opened his mouth just as Kurt was ready to dodge the question and head up to his room. His eyes met Kurt's as he spoke, raising an eyebrow at his son as he asked, "What's up? You never come home after four hours of shopping with only two bags."

He sucked in his lip for a moment before he let out a sigh that he had been keeping inside of himself for a while. Resting his forehead against the wall, Kurt closed his eyes as he answered, "It's been two days and they haven't called me back from the theater."

On the couch, Burt and Carole shared a look. Their lips pulled into a tight line, and her hand moved to Burt's knee where she squeezed it. Her little gesture helped Burt find the reassuring words for Kurt. "Hey, they probably are just trying to figure out which part you'd be best for, kid. That's what happens when someone comes in who is really talented."

A scoff escaped Kurt's lips, but he smiled either way as he opened his eyes and looked at his father. Carole next to him was smiling wide and nodding her head, and Kurt's smile only got bigger. Shaking his head a bit, Kurt sighed again but it wasn't heavy anymore as he said, "Right. I'll keep thinking about it like that."

His sock covered feet took him upstairs as he called out from the top that he'd already gotten a salad at the mall when his father reminded him to have dinner. He put down his shoes near his bed before dumping the two bags on his bed. He'd pick things up later when he wasn't so tired from walking around. Rolling his neck to try to get rid of the slight ache in it, he couldn't help but wondered if he should hop into his bathroom and take a nice warm bath with that bath bomb from _Lush _that he had ordered online. But then his eyes landed on his laptop that lay on top of his glass desk.

With a yawn, Kurt glanced down at his watch and sighed because it was too late for Blaine to be online. They had spoken to each other last night, and through text while Kurt had shopped, but somewhere in between hour two of his shopping trip, Blaine had disappeared without so much of a warning. He could only assume Blaine had been texting him as he lay in his bed and had fallen asleep with the phone in his hand.

Smiling as he imagined Blaine sleeping, his lips parted slightly as he breathed, Kurt walked over to his desk and opened his laptop. He'd take a bath in a bit before he went downstairs and watched television with his father and Carole as he also read the new Vogue issue. Long fingers traced over his phone's screen as he placed it down on the top of the desk, wondering if he should wish Blaine good night even if he was already asleep. He decided against it as his laptop finished loading and he clicked to open a new browser window, his fingers instinctively typing Tumblr into the address bar.

Ever since he had started speaking to Blaine through Skype, he had needed Tumblr a lot less than before. He logged on periodically to check Blaine's blog or to see what the latest fad on his dashboard was. Mostly he logged on after he had kicked Blaine off his laptop to go to sleep.

Like many afternoons and nights before, Kurt's fingers guided his cursor to pull the dashboard down as he looked through the posts. It wasn't until a few minutes after he had reblogged a pair of Dr. Martens that Kurt really paid attention to what he was doing. Because then a few minutes later a familiar little red box appeared over the white envelope on his dashboard. And despite the heavy dejavu, Kurt clicked the box.

The message was from a girl who he followed, but not someone he spoke to often. She was one of those people who had followed him back when Blaine had kept reblogging him, not one of the people who had followed him for his fashion posts. He furrowed his brow as he read the message.

_Kurt! You're online! What did you say?_

Aside from the simple fact that it made no sense, Kurt just stared at the message before he shook his head. Something had happened and he didn't understand what was up. A soft sigh escaped his lips before he clicked to move onto his dashboard, unsure of what that would reveal before he gave up and asked her politely what she meant by her vague message.

It was only now as his eyes searched his dashboard for a sign of something different that he noticed the little one next to the tag of his name on the sidebar of his dashboard. He blinked, but his fingers moved across the touch pad of his mac to drag the cursor there either way. His heart didn't go faster, his breathing wasn't small.

Kurt didn't have any idea what was waiting for him.

* * *

><p>"Hey Kurt!" Blaine said, his smile wide as he stared at the camera.<p>

Kurt stared at the video he had found in his tag. The video of Blaine that had neither a caption under it nor any other tag aside from Kurt's URL. It was suspicious, and it only became more so as soon as Kurt saw that Blaine's hair was slicked back and that he was wearing casual clothes. And if it hadn't been for the strangeness of the situation, he would have stopped to admire Blaine and smiled as he realized just how much he approved of the white and blue striped bowtie he was wearing while he waited for the video to load.

But he too busy focusing on what Blaine had to say than what he was wearing.

"I'm not going to do this video again. I was, but I figured if I'm going to make a fool of myself in all of them, I'll only do it once. Don't laugh at me too much when you watch this, okay?" Blaine laughed, and the way his voice was wavering as he spoke was rather uncharacteristic of him. Kurt leaned back in his chair, his hand in a fist to keep his head up.

Blaine licked his lips before he continued, "I hope you had a good day, by the way. I know we've been talking, but I hope that after I fall asleep you're still having a good day and that you found some things you liked while you went shopping."

Smiling at the fact that Blaine thought of him like that, he almost didn't notice that this video didn't have any point to it yet at all.

But luckily Blaine realized that. "I should probably, um, get to it then," he said, his voice dry and shaking once again. Kurt furrowed his brow as he watched him, slightly straightening up when Blaine started speaking again. His voice was small, and despite how many times he stuttered and searched for the right words, Blaine went for it. "You—you inspire me, Kurt. I was just happily going through the motions with my life until we started talking. And even though you were afraid, you were strong. And that's inspired me to stand up for myself, so I just wanted to thank you. Thank you for being the best friend anyone could ask for."

Kurt's heart swelled then, and his smile was ridiculous as he watched him say those last words. He wasn't quite blushing yet, but he could feel the heat rising onto his face.

Blaine continued, and Kurt noticed the difference of his tone now. Whereas before he had been smiling and looking at the camera as he spoke, he glanced away now. That urged him to lean in closer as Blaine said, his voice somewhat clearer now as he got used to it, "There's a lot of things that I should have told you earlier. But I didn't really realize them until you were gone and I thought I lost you. I was being paranoid, I know, but those three days without you really opened my eyes and I just finally _knew _what I had been trying to figure out."

Their eyes met then as Blaine looked up again. Despite the quality of the camera, Kurt could see his eyes were glossed over and watery, as if he were about to cry. It made him lean forward more, his mind still trying to wrap itself around what Blaine was saying although he did have a vague idea. But just thinking about what he hoped, about what he wished he was saying made Kurt blush instantly. He didn't tear his eyes away from Blaine's, which even in a recording knew exactly where to find his.

"I like you, Kurt. I know I told you that before, but it's different now. I like you and I'm not scared of the distance and what it means. I just really care about you and I want people to know that," his voice trailed off as he looked away for a moment, his face red and not just because of the lighting in his room.

But Kurt's face was just as red. Cupping his cheeks with his palms, Kurt breathed out as he tried to find his breath. He'd been holding it the entire time Blaine was speaking, his heart racing as he tried to wake himself up. This didn't happen to people like him. It never happened to people like Kurt. His head was racing ahead of him, but he begged it to shut up as Blaine started talking again.

He was laughing now, and it made Kurt smile to hear him. His heart was swelling at the stars in Blaine's eyes, never wanting to reach out and touch him more than he wanted to right now. Blaine shook his head as he started speaking, a paper in his hand now. "I had a whole speech written out and I completely got off script the second I started this. Yeah, but I should probably move on to the second reason I made this video before I just sit here laughing at myself. The sooner this train wreck is over, the sooner I get to well, hear from you."

His smile was soft, and he was glancing right at the camera again. Kurt smiled back at him before he said, as if Blaine could hear him, "It's not a _complete_ train wreck."

Blaine didn't reply, and instead a very serious look came over his face as he looked at the camera. Kurt took a breath and waited for him to speak. His voice was calm despite how giddy it had been a second ago, "I have a plan. It's a bit stupid, but it's a plan. I'm working now. I got a job at a little café and I'm going to save my money so that I can buy a plane ticket. You know, to visit you. In the summer. In Ohio."

Kurt's couldn't hold back the gasp that left his lips, his eyes instantly growing huge. He hardly had any time to react further as Blaine went on, somewhat rambling now, "I've already spoken to my parents about it, they're fine with me going as long as I look into some colleges while there. All I need is a place to stay, and um, I haven't really thought this part out because it all depends on your dad and step mom, but I could stay in your living room? You have to ask them of course… I really don't mind."

He smiled again, and Kurt laughed because it was nervous and yet honest and so absolutely Blaine. Everything about this moment was perfect, and Kurt wanted to stop time right there and just look at him. The only problem was that Blaine was still miles away, but they were going to work their way around that.

"And even if they say no and this falls through, it's okay. It's okay because I'm not afraid of the distance anymore. I'll wait as long as I have to to see you in person, Kurt. I just," his voice trailed off, his eyes suddenly down cast as he spoke. His voice was sore, and small when he spoke again, "I hope you feel the same."

Kurt's heart exploded at those words, and he barely was able to hear the rest of what Blaine had to say because of it. He mentioned something about going to bed then, and that Kurt could wake him up when he wanted to. He said goodnight to him, and the screen went black as the video ended, and Kurt could only sit there and try to collect himself because his heart was going to stop beating.

He'd been waiting months for this moment; for the moment that he finally understood the truth to what Blaine was feeling. Even though he knew that Blaine liked him, Kurt had been afraid that the distance would change those feelings for the worst. He had been afraid that the miles between them would continue to drive Blaine to that point where he was terrified of changing things between them because of it.

And although part of him wished Blaine had done it when they were speaking face to face through Skype, Kurt understood why he had done it this way. Maybe it was out of some strange homage to the way they met, or maybe it was because Blaine had known this was the only way he was going to be able to say all the things he had wanted to without fumbling. It had been perfect like this though, Kurt now fully appreciating the time Blaine had takenEither way, he had said it and suddenly the ball was in his court all over again.

It was his move.

* * *

><p>Kurt did nothing about it till morning. He'd let Blaine continue sleeping, deciding that although his heart was racing and every molecule in his body was on fire, that their impending conversation could wait a few hours. He had texted Blaine good night either way, and told him he'd be awake early tomorrow and that he'd text him when he woke up. And with that, Kurt walked downstairs and continued with his night as if everything he had waited for hadn't just happened in a video that was under ten minutes long.<p>

But he didn't forget when he woke up. The sun peaked through his curtains, and he stayed in bed for a few minutes, a ridiculous smile on his face the entire time. It was different now, even if nothing was certain, if only because he could put a name to the feelings Blaine had for him. He could put a name to what they were going to be once Kurt found the courage within himself to face Blaine and talk to him about the video. It was only a matter of time, and Kurt pressed his face against his pillow for a moment to compose himself before he checked his phone.

There was a message waiting for him, and something told him it was from Blaine. Reading it, he smiled at the words that had been sent a few hours ago. The two simple words of: Good morning.

**From: Kurt Hummel**

_Good morning to you. Are you home?_

He sent the message, his fingers surprisingly not shaking as he did. Instead it was that silly smile that was plastered on his face that gave away any of his inner nerves that were so different from the ones he had been feeling over the auditions. These made him soar with happiness, and Kurt put his phone into the pocket of his robe as he got up and put it on to go down stairs.

It wasn't until he was eating breakfast that he got the text back from Blaine. Kurt stopped eating at once, which caused his father and Carole to look up at the same time seeing as Finn was still sleeping. Putting his fork down, he took a quick drink of his milk before opening his phone and reading the message.

**From: Blaine Anderson**

_Hey! I went for a walk, but I'm back now._

Kurt's heart did a flip, and his father must have noticed something was up from the smile on his face when he went to reply to Blaine's message asking if they could talk after he got ready.

"Who's that?" Burt asked, raising an eyebrow before going back to eating his breakfast.

"Just Blaine," Kurt said, trying to sound clam but knowing that his voice came out a little too happy. Even if he liked being open with his father, Kurt wasn't sure if he wanted to tell him exactly what was happening. He took a bite of his toast, before standing up and saying, "I'm going to go shower."

Burt frowned a bit, before pointing to his plate as he said, "But you haven't even finished."

"I'm full already," was Kurt's quick reply as he got up and put the dish in the sink. After throwing away the little piece of bread he hadn't eaten, he washed off the plate. The smile hadn't left his lips though, and Burt and Carole gave each other a very confused look that he missed as he walked out of the kitchen and bounced up the stairs.

**From: Blaine Anderson**

_Of course we can. Just text me when you get out…_

It was as if he could feel Blaine's nervousness through the text, and Kurt wanted to reassure him that there wasn't anything to be afraid of. He put the phone down and entered the shower, not wasting any time even though Kurt hardly ever took long showers. He was out and dressed within minutes, picking out a simply outfit over something that would impress Blaine. Kurt's hair hadn't even dried properly as he brushed it back and sprayed it down.

The only person he would rush through his morning routine for was Blaine Anderson.

By the time he was done, Kurt's heart was beating out of his chest and his laptop was ready to go. He sent the text and opened Skype, hardly having to wait a minute before he got a message from Blaine requesting a video call. He wasn't the only one who was rushing, and it made him chuckle a bit before he answered.

It took a moment for Blaine's camera to work, but Kurt smiled as it did. His hair looked close to what it had in the video from last night, but he was now just wearing a blue polo. He was smiling back at him, his eyes wide with what Kurt could only hope was anticipation. Kurt wanted to laugh because he knew what he was going to say and he could only imagine Kurt's nerves right now, but he stayed his cool and just smiled back at him.

"Hey," Blaine said, breaking the silence as he leaned forward slightly. His eyes were sparkling, and Kurt was glad that for once everything in his room wasn't orange like it usually was.

"Hi," Kurt breathed out, nodding as he met his eyes.

They smiled at each other and said nothing again, before they started laughing. Neither one of them was sure what to say or do, neither one of them was ready to bring it up but they both wanted to. It was a mess, and yet they couldn't do anything but smile.

"Did you…"

"I was…"

Laughing in unison as they spoke over each other, they shook their heads. Taking in a breath, Kurt gathered himself first and said softly, "You first."

Blaine just nodded, and cleared his throat before he asked, "Did you hear back from the theater yet?"

It was the first time Kurt had thought about the theater since he had watched the video, and he literally blinked before he checked his phone for any missed calls. Shaking his head though, he glanced over at Blaine, his voice slightly dejected despite his previous elation, "Not yet. There were a lot of people though, so I guess they have a lot of people to place."

"I'm sure they're just trying to figure out which role they should give you, since they can't really put you in all of them," Blaine said, his voice teasing as he smirked at Kurt.

He laughed, shaking his head a bit at how silly that had come out. Looking up at him though, he raised an eyebrow before he mumbled, "My dad said the same thing, actually."

"It's true," Blaine said, his tone small but clear.

They were silent again for a minute, Kurt licking his lip and a bit lost in his thoughts again. Life didn't end just because the boy he liked had finally admitted his own feelings to him, and that had only just hit Kurt. They still had a lot more to deal with.

"What were you going to say, though?"

Kurt blinked at Blaine's voice, before he realized what the conversation had been about before Blaine had gone and been polite enough to ask Kurt about the community theater. He smiled again though, remembering what he had been about to say before. Looking up finally, his voice hushed somewhat as he said, "I watched your video."

"Oh," Blaine said, his voice trailing slightly. Kurt bit his lip as he watched Blaine. He ran his fingers through his hair, before he buried his face in his hands for a brief moment. Kurt though it was because he was blushing, but it wasn't until Blaine moved his hands and looked up again was it that he realized it had been out of frustration. He opened his mouth to say something but Blaine spoke first.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have dumped my feelings onto you, and I'm sorry. I didn't even once consider the fact that you might not even feel the same, and I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I'll understand if you don't feel the same anymore, and I just hope we can still be friends…"

Kurt had interrupted him by laughing, and he was too busy clutching his stomach as he did so to notice the completely baffled look on Blaine's face. It was just simply too endearing to hear him say something like that, and he couldn't help but laugh at him. Or more so at the fact that it was so something Blaine would say, and every time Kurt realized he knew him that well it swelled his heart.

His voice sounded somewhat broken as he asked, "What's so funny?"

Composing himself, Kurt had to wipe away a tear from his eye from laughing before he was able to look at Blaine again. With a happy smile, he looked him in the eye and said, now that he could breathe properly, "You. You're hilarious because you think I feel different from the way I did a few months ago about you."

"A lot of things have changed for you, Kurt," Blaine said, his voice still small although the smile on his lips now was beautiful as it kept growing with each passing moment.

Although Kurt nodded in agreement, his smile only widened with Blaine's. This was that feeling Kurt had stopped thinking he would ever get. He had given up on the idea of ever having any sort of feelings reciprocated by any guy he liked, but this was that feeling he thought he'd never get the chance to feel. He shrugged though as he said, "Yes, but my feelings for you haven't changed. At all."

They looked at each other again, smiles wide as they said absolutely nothing. There was still one question left unanswered, and neither was sure how to phrase it.

It was Blaine who took the leap to ask, something which Kurt was glad he did because Kurt wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to say now. His cheeks were burning and the amount of butterflies in his stomach was enough to make him float. But Blaine's voice was soft and grounding, carrying him back down from the clouds and into the arms that he wished were closer.

"So, what now?"

The question was simple, and Kurt wanted to somehow lean forward through the computer screen and kiss him. There was only one answer, and as he rested his chin in his hand, Kurt answered in a voice that was happier than he had ever been in weeks, "We try to make your plan work."

Neither one of them made acknowledgement to what they were now, because neither one had to. They both knew what that meant, and it made their stomachs flip and reflected off their dopey smiles that they were giving each other. In their heads, they were imagining a scene where they could hold each other's hands, where they could reach over and kiss each other. Even if they had accepted the reality given to them, the reality that set them oceans apart from each other, they both knew what they wanted to be doing even if the other wasn't aware of it.

They knew that they only had a few months to plan things, and time really was pressing. But they wanted to delight in that moment, because after months of dodging each other, they had finally met halfway. Their smiles didn't get any smaller, both of them looking at their boyfriend on the other side of the screen, and knowing that soon enough they would start on trying to close the _other_ distance between them.


	19. Chapter 18

**Authors Note:** I feel like you guys are all going to kill me for taking so long. Writers block and school piled up and it became very hard to write this, but I powered through and _here it is_! The story is moving along, so just hang tight.

* * *

><p>There was a voice, but Blaine couldn't really make it out. It reminded him of bells; Christmas bells from his childhood in Connecticut. Cheerful in that pleasant way that made him smile lazily in his half asleep state. But it wasn't just cheerful. It was soft and kind. It was like spring time and winter at the same time, the best parts of his favorite seasons mixed into one smooth, soothing sound. He didn't know who was speaking, his mind too lost as he slipped closer into sleep, but Blaine couldn't help but smile as he heard the distant sound say his name.<p>

"Blaine."

There it was again. It was like his dream was speaking to him. A bright, brilliant light was talking and Blaine wanted to take the voice with him into his dreams, if only so that he could be wrapped up in it even more than he was already. He hummed softly, rolling over onto his side only to be poked in the eye by his phone.

"Ugh," he groaned out, before he realized what had just happened as he rubbed sleep away from his eyes and looked around his dark room. The lights of his neighborhood poured in from the window, and Blaine tried to place himself while running a hand through his messy curls. But his eyes grew huge as he rubbed his neck. He gasped and in less than a second turned around to pick up the phone that had caused him slight pain. "Kurt. Kurt, I am so sorry! I almost fell asleep on you when I said that I wouldn't because I wasn't that tired, which was why we should talk."

But he just got a laugh in return, and the sound of bells filled his ears once more. Blaine smiled tiredly before yawning, falling back onto the pillow as he listening to Kurt.

"It's okay," he said, his voice soft and Blaine could have sworn he heard the smile in it. "But I still think you shouldn't have called. We can talk tomorrow when you don't have work after school like you did today. I really don't mind."

Blaine let out a low groan, because he could feel just how tired he was. His body was telling him to sleep, his mind a fuzzy delirium that was only vaguely aware what was going on. He had had to go straight from school to his new job, skipping his fencing practice, and then home to finish homework hours later than he usually ever came home from practice. But by the time he had finished, it was early morning for him and he and Kurt had barely gotten to talk.

"But I hate not hearing your voice," Blaine whined, holding back a yawn as he spoke. He knew it sounded ridiculous, but he couldn't be held accountable for what he said. With a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes tight before opening them and looking up at his ceiling in the darkness as he added, "Not hearing your voice is like bad luck."

If he hadn't been so tired, Blaine would have been able to hear the way Kurt was rolling his eyes. Instead he simply pressed his face into the pillow and waited for a response as he rested one arm underneath his head. It was strange that sometimes when they spoke on the phone, Blaine felt like they were closer. Maybe it was the feeling of intimacy and privacy that being tucked into his bed gave him. Maybe it was because he could close his eyes and pretend Kurt lay near him and was whispering these things into his ear in person instead of through a phone on the other side of the world.

He smiled wide though as soon as he heard Kurt talk. His words were skeptical, but somehow the tone in which they were said told Blaine that Kurt was smiling just as much as he was as he was. "You're such a clingy boyfriend, Blaine. I'm sure you'll do fine if you were to go one day without hearing my voice. So go to sleep."

Because there was that word. It had only been a few days, and that word still sent a shiver down Blaine's spine. Kurt was his boyfriend. He had a boyfriend. He wasn't some far off idea that Blaine fantasized about like a hopeful little girl. Kurt was real, and although he was far from Blaine, he wasn't just a figment of his imagination to keep him going through a bad day. He had a boyfriend who he could call, who he could text, who he could tell things to; a boyfriend that if he lived closer to, Blaine would have kissed many times by now. He had a boyfriend that he was working hard to finally see him in person.

It was going to take a while for that word to not make him smile like a teenage girl over a bad boy band.

"I resent that," Blaine said, chuckling just a bit now that he was slightly more awake. Readjusting his head on the pillow, Blaine blinked to stay awake. "I'm not clingy. I just like to hear your voice because I miss you sometimes. I don't think that makes me clingy."

This time he heard Kurt scoff and it was his turn to roll his eyes. He knew he liked it though, so Blaine didn't say anything it. It was one of those things that just Kurt did, and he couldn't say that he didn't love it, because Blaine knew that he did.

"It's a bit clingy," Kurt said, his voice teasing now. "But it's cute too, so I'll let it slide."

There was a pause, and Blaine hummed softly under his breath in order to keep from falling asleep. Neither one of them said anything though and he heard Kurt take a deep breath before he spoke in a hushed tone, referring to what he had said earlier, "I'm right here. You don't have to miss me."

"You know what I meant."

Blaine's voice was just as quiet, and as he breathed out he could hear Kurt nod his head. Or maybe it was the soft breath that escaped his lips that let Blaine know he felt the same. Kurt was always nearby, and if he wanted to talk to him, he always could just as long as he wasn't sleeping. It wasn't that type of missing. He missed Kurt the way you miss something you've never really had. He missed Kurt like a dream that couldn't be remembered. He missed him without even really having him.

They fell silent again, and Blaine fought to stay awake as he felt himself start to nod off again. Kurt's gentle breathing acted like a lullaby, and Blaine yawned before he forced his eyes open. The glow in the dark numbers of the clock in his bedside table shone in the night, and he tried staring at them until the numbers switched. 1:32 AM became 1:33, and Blaine just smiled as his eyes fell closed.

"That reminds me," Kurt said after a moment, to which Blaine just hummed in return. He was falling asleep again, but Kurt's voice was just so soft in his ear, even if his tone was a lot less hushed for Blaine's sake. It sounded like he was walking around, and if Blaine had been more attentive he would have been able to guess that Kurt was writing something down. "I have to ask my dad about the trip and then figure out all the places I want to take you to."

Blaine smiled as wide as he could, and although he was a little bit more awake than he had been a moment ago, he was still somewhat drowsy. Yawning loudly, Blaine said in a muffled voice, "You don't have to take me anywhere. I'll just be there; you don't have to do anything special for me."

He didn't want to impose, but Kurt wasn't hearing any of it. As if he were holding his hand up and Blaine could tell that he had to not talk, Kurt said in a clear tone, but not authoritatively, "No, I _want_ to take you to places. It's not trouble at all because _I'm_ the one that wants to do it. Just let me."

It was almost as if Kurt's voice got softer as he said that last line, and even in his exhausted state, Blaine managed to smile. The idea that Kurt would actually want to take him somewhere made his heart skip a few beats. They had spoken about this before, but never seriously. It had always been whispers, soft words to comfort the other. But right now everything felt so much more real, even if s imultaneously, it felt lighter. As if it could fly away at any moment.

Yawning again, Blaine's words were a whispered jumble as he asked, "Where would we go?"

Kurt laughed at that, and although it was hushed it still sounded perfect to Blaine. But then again, he almost always thought Kurt was pretty perfect. He didn't care that he was being laughed at, and instead he just hugged his pillow closer and tried to fight sleep off for a few minutes more, at least until he got his question answered.

"There's nowhere to go in Lima," Kurt said after a moment, the laughter falling from his voice. "But I guess normal places. Like Breadstix, The Lima Bean, and The North Hills Mall. There's nothing that great to do here." Blaine could almost hear Kurt's voice fall more, and somehow things were starting to seem a little heavier again. He opened his mouth to say he didn't care, but Kurt stopped him. "Lima's really not Rome, you know-"

"I don't care," Blaine interrupted, his words intelligible again. "Rome doesn't have you, so Lima sounds extremely better than Rome right now. I'd love to go anywhere you'd want to take me to, Kurt. Honestly."

He heard Kurt mumble a gentle okay, a sigh escaping his lips in defeat once he realized Blaine was telling the truth. It was part of that euphoria that came with the first week of being a couple, and soon Blaine's words fell on top of them and made them both smile widely. Or at least, Blaine hoped Kurt was smiling in the quiet silence that had taken over them. He felt closer to him already, and Blaine's eyes began to close as the silence grew longer and wrapped him up in the sound of Kurt's gentle breathing.

His mind had begun to drift again, floating out into an ocean of sleep until he heard a soft voice. It was hushed, whispering, but clear as it spoke into his ear, "This is actually happening, Blaine. It's all happening."

Blaine couldn't remember if he replied or not. He remembered smiling, he remembered nodding his head. But maybe his muscles were too heavy for him to move, his mouth too relaxed to open and form words. He remembered a quiet laughter, before that same bell like voice whispered good night.

* * *

><p>"What is it, kiddo?" Burt asked, without even looking up from the clipboard in his hand as he stepped out of his office and into the garage.<p>

Kurt, who was sitting on a stool near one of the cars, looked up from his phone immediately. His stomach clenched, and he breathed in deeply as he began to stand up. His posture was near perfect as always, and it didn't look like he was a nervous wreck at all. But inside, his stomach was twisting into knots. The last time he had felt this nervous telling his father something was when he had come out to him a year ago. With another deep breath he told himself that he could do this, and smiled although his palms were beginning to sweat.

Walking over to the car his father was working on, Kurt leaned against it once he had decided it was clean enough to do so. Smiling, he shrugged and glanced at his father who was working under the hood before he said, "I just wanted to tell you something, that's all." His voice feigned calmness, but he had the feeling that his father would be able to tell something was a little off from just how breathless he sounded due to the nerves.

But the nerves were granted, of course. They were understandable, considering Kurt had no idea what he was going to do if his father took the news badly. Because although he had been planning what Blaine and him would be doing every single day for the four and a half weeks that he was going to be here, and although he had been rummaging through the cellar and garage sale ads for old furniture to use in the small spare room that they used as a storage room, Kurt hadn't exactly gotten around to telling his father that Blaine was going to be visiting. That and he hadn't exactly told his father that Blaine was his boyfriend now.

Burt seemed to notice the difference in him, and Kurt turned to look at him as he raised an eyebrow and popped his head out from under the hood. Cleaning off his hands, he smiled wide, and somehow that left Kurt a bit anxious, but mostly confused. Although his father was a sweetheart, he wasn't exactly someone who wore his feelings on his shirt sleeve, so to speak. He didn't just smile like that without a legitimate reason, and Kurt couldn't find anything appropriate. Panicking that he had missed something, Kurt stood straighter as he waited for his father to speak.

Stepping towards him, Burt smiled and began to open his arms as he spoke. "You got the part in that play, didn't you?" His voice was booming, and he laughed heartily before pulling Kurt in for a hug.

It was a tight hug, but that wasn't the reason why Kurt's eyes were bugging out of his head.

He had been so worked up planning the trip that he had almost forgotten about the play entirely. Of course, it had been purposely done, because the last thing Kurt wanted to be thinking about while he read for his classes and listened to the online lectures while finding things to do in Lima was if he had actually gotten a part in the play. Hearing about it now sent a pang to his heart, and while he had been ridged when his father had first hugged him, Kurt relaxed a bit and melted into the hug, if only for support.

Shaking his head, he lifted his arms to pat his father's back sympathetically. "Well, that's actually not what I'm here for," he said over his shoulder, his voice masking the pain of the reminder. Kurt looked down as his father pulled away, his hands still on his arms as Kurt shrugged. "I haven't heard back from them yet."

Burt sighed, and gave Kurt's shoulder a squeeze before dropping his arms. His voice was warm and comforting despite the fact that Kurt could sense the slight discomfort he felt because he had been wrong as he said, "Well, it's only a matter of time. I bet they're just having trouble deciding which part to give you, kid."

He nodded, looking up and giving his father a tight, closed lip smile. Burt had moved back to the hood of the car now, and Kurt took the moment to breathe in deeply and collect himself.

It wasn't the time to think about that, but it was going to eat at him all day now that he had brought the play up. Kurt leaned back against the car, his hands snaking into his pockets as he dazed off for a moment. He wondered if they even had the decency to call after rejecting an audition, or if he was going to have to drive to the theater and check the cast list himself to be a hundred percent sure that he hadn't been cast. He had no idea how this was done.

"Well, you going to tell me why you're here, then?" Burt asked after a moment of silence had passed between them, cutting right to the chase.

Kurt blinked, and the image of him standing in front of a cast list without his name on it that he had made up in his head vanished. For a moment, he stood there trying to remember why he had come here in the first place, until Blaine's smiling face popped into his head. He sighed happily and smiled to himself for a second, before allowing that image to fade too and turning to his father. He opened his mouth to speak, and the momentary giddiness was gone.

He was back in his father's garage, facing him and about to ask something he never would have pictured himself asking. Of course, he had dreamed of Blaine visiting, but they had been nothing but dreams. This was happening. This was real, and Kurt was terrified that all their planning was going to go to waste.

With a hesitant smile, Kurt opened his mouth again and tried to find the words for how to start this. He began, stuttering slightly as he tried to keep his arms from moving too much out of nervousness as he said "You remember Blaine, right?"

His father gave him an incredulous look, and nearly scoffed before looking back down at his work. Kurt could sense the eye roll even though he couldn't see it. "As if I could forget the guy who you're always talking to when I get home. What about him?"

Kurt laughed nervously, and nodded a bit as his father spoke. He couldn't help it; he was telling the truth. But knowing that he noticed that made Kurt feel a slight blush crawl onto his cheeks, and he took another deep breath before he looked up at him again. He stared at his father for a few minutes, trying to figure out how he would take the news. There was really no way of telling, and Kurt knew he had to just go for it.

"Well, we've been talking, and Blaine is working at a coffee shop right now to save up some money. And we were thinking that with summer a few months away, he could buy a ticket soon so that it's cheaper and he can come sometime mid-June. Come here for a few weeks and stay with us, that is," he said, feeling himself grow a bit more confident as he kept talking. He had it all planned, they had worked it all out. There was no way his father was going to object when it made complete sense.

He stood a little bit straighter, as he waited for his father's reply. It took a moment, as it seemed like he had started tightening up a loose bolt. But as he finished, Burt groaned a bit as he ducked out of the hood and stood up straight. "Doesn't this kid live in Italy?"

"Yeah, but we've been searching for flights. They're expensive, but he said he already has a lot saved and that he's working for the rest. And I'm going to help with whatever I can. It's a lot less if he comes here than me going there, though."

Burt backed up from the car then, and grabbed the red cloth from his pocket to wipe away the grease from his hands. Sighing, he cocked his head to the side and motioned for Kurt to follow him as he started walking to the other side of the shop. He followed him, and slowly felt his confidence start to build. He wasn't going to take no for an answer.

Looking over his shoulder, Burt cleared his throat before asking, "And where would he be sleeping at our house, exactly?"

He felt a blush crawl onto his cheeks, and instantly looked away for a moment. He had thought, for a split second, about manipulating the situation so that Blaine could stay in his room, but he knew that his father wouldn't let that. He also knew that as much as he would like that, he wasn't ready for it. Glancing up, Kurt thanked everything that his father was looking down as he searched through a box of parts and couldn't see the blush.

"The spare room, where we put some of the stuff from the old house," Kurt managed to say, his voice unwavering. "I can get Finn to help me move the stuff down to the cellar, and I've been searching for cheap furniture online and garage sales."

His father sighed, and looked up at him. Their eyes met, and although there was a bit of resistance in Burt's eyes, Kurt stood his ground. His face was gentle, but his stance was determined. Burt must have noticed it, because he shook his head and leaned forward. Pointing a finger right at him, his father said in his best business voice, "You can't let this take time away from your schoolwork, okay? I'm okay with him staying, but only as long as you keep up with your studies while getting things set up."

Kurt's heart stopped, and his mouth dropped. For a second, he thought he had just made up the words in his head. He had been so determined, and although he had convinced himself that this was going to happen, a part of him didn't believe it. Blinking rapidly, he began to smile wide as he asked, his voice higher than usual, "Are you serious?"

Burt laughed, and shrugged a bit, before he simply nodded. "You deserve to be around your friend after everything that's happened."

Kurt didn't let that statement remind him of the past couple months, and instead just smiled wide. He was too happy to think of anything sad right now, and he practically jumped up, his arms coming up to cover his mouth as he let out a happy gasp. It only made his father laugh more, but Kurt just kept smiling as he came around to hug him. It was a quick hug, and Kurt's heart beated uncontrollably as he said into his shoulder, his breath short from excitement, "Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me."

He almost slipped up and said 'us' instead of 'me', clearly meaning Blaine and him, but he figured that wasn't going to go over well with his father. Kurt had forgotten the second reason why he had come here, since the fact that Burt had said yes to him staying had made him forget nearly everything.

Pulling away, he smiled wider as his father squeezed his shoulders. Burt shook his head though, and let go of him, not turning his head as he walked away and said, "Now, stop skipping your lectures. Don't think I don't remember that you have one right now."

There was a smile in his father's tone, and it made him smile. He turned around and began to head out the garage, a skip in his step. "I already covered the stuff they're doing right now," Kurt called back absentmindedly, his father grunting in understanding.

His mind was miles away though, back in planning mode as he thought about all the things he was going to need for Blaine's room, and wondering if he should paint it because it was a drab white and while that worked for his room, Blaine didn't seem like someone who could live in a plain white room. It made his heart jump, the fact that even though he had already been planning this for a week but that now it was actually okay. It was really going to happen, and no one could stop them now. Kurt was halfway out of the garage, and halfway through trying to figure out how he could make his father's favorite meal tonight and make it somewhat healthier in order to properly thank him, when he heard his father's voice call out his name.

Stopping, he turned around and blinked as he saw his father standing straight, his head out of the hood of the car. His eyes seemed clouded, and Kurt could sense a bit of hesitance in his posture, which made him clench his fists from nervousness, bracing himself for what could possibly be coming. Maybe there was a catch to all of this, and as hard as it was for him to wrap his head around that, Kurt tried not to have an inner melt down.

It took Burt a moment to speak, and when he finally did, he had gone back to work on the car. His voice was distant and almost awkward, and Kurt knew that he wasn't trying to meet his eyes as he asked, "You and this Blaine kid. You two are just friends, right?"

His heart skipped a few beats, and his mouth opened to speak but nothing came out. What was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to lie now, or would the truth end up costing them the trip? But Kurt almost never lied to his dad, and he didn't think now was the time to start. Kurt had forgotten what he had had planned to say earlier if this topic had been broached, and sucked in on his lip before he said, trying hard not to sound too nervous, "Would you change your mind about him staying if I said no?"

The garage was silent aside from the distant sound of the other workers putting in parts and changing oil, the sharp and familiar clang of metal against metal filling both their ears. Burt hadn't moved from underneath the hood, and Kurt stood his ground, watching his father and waiting for his reply. He stood tall, and watched as Burt's shoulders slumped down just a bit before he turned his face to look at Kurt. Their eyes met from across the room, and neither one of them said anything for a moment.

He shook his head though, and Kurt understood from his father's small smile that he was happy for him. He knew that his father wasn't going to tell him how wonderful it was that he had a boyfriend, just like he wouldn't have done that even if he had a girlfriend. That wasn't who he was, but that smile was enough for Kurt to know that his father approved and was just happy to know Kurt was happy. It was silent, but he understood.

"No," he said finally, looking at Kurt. He chuckled a bit, still shaking his head before he went back to the engine he was working on. And although his tone was teasing, Kurt knew he was being completely serious as he added, "But he better actually be staying in the spare bedroom."

Kurt left the shop feeling a bit lighter, but with his cheeks flushed.

* * *

><p>He couldn't help but roll his eyes, before looking up from the book on his lap and giving Blaine an incredulous look. "Blaine," he said, disbelief hanging off every syllable that came out of his mouth. "You love coffee and you're surrounded by it. How on earth aren't you enjoying your job?"<p>

Blaine laughed, and it made Kurt smile. It was hard to concentrate on homework when talking to him, but in an hour or so he knew he was going to have to scold him to go to sleep, so Kurt took the time they had together and cherished it. He watched as Blaine shook his head in the grainy screen, and felt a smirk crawl onto his lips as he spoke. "No, I love that part of the job. But I hate the part where I start to get the orders wrong and then the customers look at me like I'm an idiot."

As he spoke, he hung his head a bit, and Kurt could have sworn he saw a faint hint of a blush on his cheeks before they were out of sight. He smiled wide, and felt just how open they could be around each other. Sure, they had always been like this, and in many ways nothing had changed at all since they had given each other a title, but he felt good that he could actually show just how he felt without worrying that it was too much.

Or maybe the reason he smiled so wide at a simple blush came from the simple fact that every day that passed meant that they were one day closer to being together. One day soon, now that they had the okay from both their parents, he was going to be able to see little things like a blush in person, and maybe that was the reason why Kurt could smile wide at something so completely trivial. Blaine was so much more than just someone on the other side of a screen, and soon everyone else would see that too.

Leaning forward, he opened his mouth to say something before he heard a knock on his door. Blaine must have heard it too, because he sat up just a bit straighter in his chair, even half the world away. Kurt blinked a bit, and only then did his eyes leave Blaine's as he turned to look at the door and called out, "You can come in."

The door opened slowly as Kurt took the laptop off his lap and pushed it down his bed just a bit. On the other side of the screen, Blaine was quiet, and while Kurt wanted to tell him to relax, he too felt a bit nervous, especially when he saw his father walk in.

"Hey kid," Burt said as Kurt reached up to take the ear buds out of his ears and unplug them from his laptop.

"Hey dad," Kurt said, looking at him and then back at his screen. He smiled softly at Blaine, who noticed the smile and returned it. It was hesitant, and Kurt could feel the nerves radiating off of him from the way he held himself, and now more than ever he wanted to be next to him if only to squeeze his hand and reassure him that everything was alright. The moment was fleeting though, and Kurt glanced back up before he added, "Blaine's here too."

Burt nodded, and then realized that Blaine couldn't see him at all from where he was. He sighed, and Kurt watched him as he rubbed his neck with his hand while walking to the side of his bed. Standing in the frame, Burt nodded again and offered a quick smile. "Hi Blaine."

"Hey Burt," Blaine said, his voice calm as he smiled back. The exchange made Kurt smile himself though, which he hid it behind his palm. It was a bit awkward, and it was going to take some getting used to from both their parts, but it was a start.

Sitting up on his bed, Kurt tucked his legs underneath him and blinked at his dad, who seemed somewhat out of place now. He had forgotten why he had come here, almost as if seeing Blaine for the third time since he had officially met him and the first time since he had found out they were a couple had shaken things up a bit. For a moment he felt sorry for putting his father in this position, knowing that he had never really prepared himself for this, but he knew they were going to get there one day.

Kurt cleared his throat though, before quirking an eyebrow as he glanced up at his father, "Did you need me?"

Coming back from wherever he had been in his head, Burt shook his head before his eyes went huge. "Yes!" he said loudly, and as he threw his arms into the air only then did Kurt notice that his father had the house phone in his hand. Kurt squinted a bit, and leaned back as his father thrust his hand out and handed the phone to him. "You want to take this call."

It took almost minute of staring at the phone for it to click in Kurt's head. But when it did, he was quick to react. He gasped and scrambled forward, grabbing the phone and pressing it against his ear. Kurt's actions were so fast that he didn't even notice the small exchange that passed between Burt and Blaine, where Blaine had mouthed _'is that' _ before Burt cut him off with a nod, to which they both smiled wide at each other in anticipation of what was about to happen.

"Hello?" Kurt asked, his voice small as he tried to keep from stumbling over his words or cracking.

"Yes, hello. Is this Kurt Hummel?" A woman on the other line said, and although her sentences were mechanical at best her voice remained cheerful.

His eyes grew huge, and he nodded his head frantically before realizing she couldn't see him. Trying to calm himself down, Kurt nodded again, but said this time with the nod, "Yeah, I'm Kurt. I mean, yes, this is he. Is there something wrong?"

Burt and Blaine exchanged another look at each other, and their faces bore mirror images of fond smiles as they shook their heads. Both of them knew Kurt well enough to know that even though he was trying to keep it together, he was giddy on the inside. But Kurt remained unaware of anything going through their heads, seeing as right now his world revolved around what the woman was going to say next, and he didn't care nor was completely aware that they were in the room with him. Or one of them was physically, at least.

"No, not at all," she said, and Kurt felt himself both relax and tense up at the same time. "I was actually just calling to remind you that on the first rehearsal on Wednesday, we're going to need a check of $120 just to cover the costs for your costumes and some of the materials for the sets."

"Oh," Kurt said, breathing out as he sat back down on the bed. He caught Blaine's eye on the camera, and shook his head as Blaine raised his eyebrows in question, holding up a hand. Biting his lip hard, he hugged his knees to his chest before he asked the question that was killing him. "Does that mean I got a part?"

Burt leaned in closer, as if trying to hear, and Kurt leaned away just a bit out of reflex and nerves. Blaine rested his chin in his palms, and was holding his breath just like Kurt was. All three of them waited for the response, the air heavy with anticipation.

The woman on the other line couldn't sense it though. She laughed a bit, before answering, "You did. It's all up on our website. First rehearsal is at 5 PM on Tuesday, and we'll see what time works best for everyone else after. Just wanted to call and –"

"Wait!" Kurt interrupted, his head springing up as his heart raced simply at the knowledge that he had actually gotten a part, even though his eyes had been wide and a smile had crawled onto his face the second she said he had, which had tipped off Blaine and Burt. Both of them were smiling now, waiting for Kurt's reaction, which was why his sudden outburst confused them. "Wait, could you possibly tell me which part I got?"

The smiles returned to his father's and Blaine's face, and Kurt almost wanted to roll his eyes at them, but he was too busy. There was a pause from the woman on the phone, and in the distance he heard some papers shifting as she spoke, "It's all online on our website, but I think I have a copy of the cast list—Yep! Here it is. Let's see…"

Her voice trailed off, which he could only guess was because she had to go and look over the paper for his name. He could hear her mumbling his name under her breath, and was surprised he could hear anything over the pounding of his heart all the way in his throat. How far down the list was he? Kurt wouldn't be surprised if he was put down as Tom Snout, the poor guy who plays the Wall in the play of Pyramus and Thisbe at the end of A Midsummer Night's Dream. How he felt about that, he wasn't sure, but at least it was _something._

Kurt jumped a bit as he heard her let out a loud, "Oh!" His heart raced, his fingers clenched into fists as he pressed them against his lips, and once again everyone and everything in his room disappeared as he waited for her to speak.

"Sorry, I didn't expect your name to be at the top," she said, laughing once again. She cleared her throat, and Kurt almost lost his patience and told her right then and there to get on with it. But he took a breath instead, realizing now that he had been holding it this entire time. "Kurt Hummel, in the part of Puck, also known as Robin Goodfellow. Congratulations!"

But the 'congratulations' from the well-mannered receptionist was all but lost. Kurt had hung up the phone and dropped it onto his bed before he moved the hand that had been covering his mouth and leaped up from his bed and hugged his father. From the other side of the world, Blaine grinned and laughed along with them as Burt hugged Kurt tight, both Blaine and Burt's hearts swelling at the thought of just how much Kurt deserved this.


End file.
